Venting

[SoCalGalcas]

I am going to try this again after receiving helpful suggestions.
My daughter just told me I cannot have a cat! History: when I moved into this condo, (2010) I had a dog and a cat. Daughter said that was OK. However, she said when they die I cannot get any other pets without her OK. I agreed to this.
Val herself had Benji. I lavished all my pet love on him.
I thought, when she invited me to live here, she would take care of me as I aged. I believe she has broken all promises by moving to NH. She does not agree because she invited me to move to NH with her.
Today, I am paying rent. About 1/2 what she. Would get on the open market if she rented it out. By my staying here she does not have to move any belongings to NH, nor put them in storage.
I think I should be able to get a cat because she is leaving me all alone. She says “I don’t want a cat in here peeing all over the carpet and on the walls and tearing up the furniture.”(This carpet has stains from Benji peeling on it, and the plan is to get new carpet after Benji dies).
I would get two sand boxes and a large cat tree if I got a cat.
I should add, Val is VERY stressed with the logistics oh her move.
So…any suggestions, options, opinions welcome…truly. Lyn

[Bethers]

This posted twice haha. I deleted one of them.

That sucks. I've never had a cat that caused potty problems unless there were areas other animals already had done so. With a litter box kept clean, cats are fastidious. The only danger would be from scratching. And you would be responsible for that. I'd have a problem with this also. Maybe bring it up again later. She might rethink things. I hope.

[Acadianmom]

If you would see my furniture you might rethink a cat. I had 6 house cats, 2 of them would go outside part of the day. The youngest started not using the litter box so he got thrown outside with the barn cats. Four of the inside cats are in the 13 to 15 year range. Since the young cat used the bathroom on the carpet I have to watch the other so they don't do it too. I have shampooed the carpet and sprayed it with everything they sell and they will still pee there. I have 6 litter boxes all over the house so they don't have any excuse not to use one. I am threatening to throw all of them out when it warms up.

Martha

[snowball]

my youngest had two kitties... one she got when it was a good age to leave mom and was trained ect the other she got when it was way to young to leave mom I believe we even feed it and didn't do a good job training it to a litter box... over the years the 2nd cat would go were ever it desired even with two litter boxes... her house reeked so much better now... I don't know if a cat would follow in Benji's accident's or not but it is something to be concerned about... it's too bad she is taking Benji with her. I hope she will reconsider as you really do need to have company...
maybe she is feeling grumbly because she feels guilty leaving you behind... and not seeing what is good for you
sheila

[Redetotry]

I'm so sorry you are having these unexpected issues! My opinion may be biased but I would think a dog might be more company and less to worry about damaging the house. Maybe you could find a small dog that has been trained to go outside or use a piddle pad indoors.

[Shirlv]

Lynn, have no idea how much a dog walker charges but that might be a consideration. How will you get your future pets to a vet when needed ?

[gypsyrose1126]

Lyn, Why don't you wait till she is in NH and settled and maybe not so stressed. It could be that part of the problem is the stress and the uncertainty of NH, plus maybe she is feeling guilty of leaving you behind. After she is settled and more relaxed ask again. I know nothing about cats, but when my brother & his wife moved from FL back North they stayed with me for 8 months with 3 cats, and we never had a problem. They were all well trained, although there was a lot of fur around!!

[Shirlv]

Lynn, Rosemary’s suggestion sounds like a winner. Lot of stress going on in your family. ((Hugs))

[cnq50b]

Oh gosh, Lynn, I don't have anything to add except to say I'm so sorry you are dealing with all this stress.

I agree waiting until things calm down a little & she is settled in NH might be a better time to approach the topic again.

And as I mentioned in my other post, she may change her mind about living in NH & be back sooner than either of you think it might happen.

By you paying some rent, not only does she not have to move the furniture, but the condo will continue to increase in value so her investment in it will continue to grow. And it gives her a place to come back to in case things don't work out with the new guy. Plus she knows you will take care of it & can trust you. Lots of reasons to have you there even if you are paying less than the market value. She is benefitting from it.

Glad you're able to vent here.
Keep us in the loop.
Love,
Catherine

[BarbaraRose]

I have had many cats and have never had one that peed outside the box. If you provide scratching posts or cardboard scratchers, a cat probably won't use their claws on the furniture. Lola only uses the cardboard scratchers.

Sorry she is making things a bit difficult for you. She should realize that you need some companionship there so you are not totally alone all the time. Hope you two can come to some resolution.

[SoCalGalcas]

I do appreciate everything each has written. At this time, and after thinking things over, and having trouble sleeping….. I am going to follow Rosemary’s advice. I will not mention cats again. I am sure Val will be obsessing over this subject and I am going to leave it until she mentions it again.
Val has relatives back there that ALL have pets so I feel confident the subject will come up.
Her Dad has both a dog and a huge Maine Coon cat.
This site is better than a therapist!!!
Lyn

[snowball]

my youngest had a beautiful can believe it was a Maine Coon cat... beautiful!!! I would love one but am afraid that one of my dd's would have issues with it
sheila

[cnq50b]

This site is better than a therapist!!!

Much cheaper too.

Plus we know & love you!
When is your daughter moving?

[SoCalGalcas]

My daughter is scheduled to leave April 22nd…I am all ready missing her and Benji. I keep telling Benji that he will have fun playing in the snow!
Since Val has been an adult, we have gotten along very well with lots of laughter and love. It is difficult and stressful being mad at someone you love.
Lyn

[Shirlv]

Lynn, I am fast approaching the time I will have to move in with my daughter and her husband and I hate the idea. I will give up my independence, my treasures. Lol. Thought when she was little it was my house and my rules. In the future it will be her house and her rules. I will really try to be a good child but don’t bet money on it. Life is too short, have no regrets, don’t be mad. ((Hugs))