Question-Monetary Gifts to Grandkids

[monik7]

I thought I would ask anyone who might care to give input about how long you continue sending birthday/holiday monetary gifts to grandkids. I realize it’s an individual choice. Do you continue indefinitely or is there an age when you stop?
Sandi

[OregonLuvr]

I stopped when they couldnt even send a thank you note or let me know what they bought with a gift card. About 13 I think. They were old enough to take responsibility for thanking me or at least a phone call.

[Acadianmom]

My grandson just turned 18 and he still calls to thank me. He still has some school ahead so I will keep sending something if I think he could use the money. I am in the camp that if they can't thank you I would stop sending anything but a card.

Martha

[MandysMom]

Last week my 12 year old grandson made a special Marco Polo video to thank me for the card and $ I sent. Then joined his sister in video chat to thank me again and tell me what he chose to spend the money on. I'll continue as long as we have contact.
Velda

[BirdbyBird]

I am new to this Grandparent thing. My daughter's dogs don't care and my son's three children are still young. When he had Sarah first got together I sent presents to her two young ones but these last two years I have switched to giving a "family" gift after some consultation with Ben and Sarah. I come up with an idea and see if it is something the family could utilize. The first year it was a membership to the New York Zoo and Botanical Gardens. Last year it was an electric keyboard for their home. The boys all have plenty of things.....what I noticed was that the family was focused on activities. I was thinking of asking if they needed another kayak this Christmas. I had already given them my first Hornbeck when I decided to purchase the Classic three years ago. I can't afford giving them one of those but others are not that expensive and it would help get the boys out on the water paddling...... I could see shifting to money when they are much older but for now I will focus on their parent's efforts to support family activities....

[SoCalGalcas]

Interesting you posted this topic today. I mentioned my GGD had a drive by birthday celebration last month. I put cash in her birthday card. No mention of any kind of thanks. I was royally pissed. This girl was 10 years old. That is old enough to write a thank you note. She has a very nice iPad and could have written on it. No thanks to receiving a nice gift from my daughter either. So....no more gifts from me. Lyn

[Shirlv]

I wasn’t going to post because I guess I am the weird one. I send birthday day cards to every member of my family including in-laws. I haven’t always gotten a thank you and I don’t care. For me it’s more about keeping in touch. My 30yr old granddaughter gave me a rock for Christmas that was engraved with “you are my rock”. That meant more to me than missed thank you. In this crappy world they know Grandmom loves them.

[chalet05]

I think this is based on individual circumstances. My older daughter always had the kids write thank you letters. They stopped maybe because they could no longer be mailed directly to me - or their mother got lazy. The two older ones do have e-mail and phones! So I drew the line at 18. My daughter at Christmas would always say there was nothing they wanted/needed - then she'd remember so over the years there was a telescope, a used pool table and a TV for them. When it became money, I decided to just give it to them when I saw them in the summer. Now that I haven't really seen them, I sent the younger 16 year old a check to cover past and future birthdays and Christmases. No thank you and she does text! There will likely be no graduation gift for her. She's always been a bit of a pill.

My other grandson was not made to write thank you notes. I finally told my daughter if he couldn't text me, his gift would stop. He now thanks me when I wish him a happy birthday or holiday via text! Last time I saw him 2 years ago, I did hand him some money and would probably do the same for the other 2 adults if I ever saw them. This grandson just returned from the Middle East and turned 21 while he was over there. Looking forward to seeing him!

One of my nieces has 3 children I adore so I gift them.

[monik7]

Thank you ladies for your insight. Any additional ideas would be appreciated.
Sandi

[dpf]

My grands are quite young so I usually get hugs and kisses and verbal thanks. Bronc will draw a picture...always a tractor or a semi! This is what irritates me. Not attending a wedding/baby shower gifts, graduation party, or wedding but sending a gift and never receive any type of acknowledgement. Also found out that I was accused of "cheaping out" when I gave an afghan to some friend's son and his wife for a wedding present....the yarn had cost over $70.00.

[snowball]

I don't get not being thankful for a homemade gift Pat that is just so
as to the grandkids mine have never been made or encouraged to send thank you's they do if I am there this year at Christmas I was totally stressed and didn't send anything to anyone... so when I saw them this summer I would say to one happy birthday merry christmas and hand her the money then the next one it was Merry Christmas happy birthday depending up which came first... am all caught up till Oct... with the exception of my kids... hmm not happening this year.... but as I gave each there money they said thanks had it been mailed know that it wouldn't have happened...
as to cut off I think it's when they are no longer in the home permanently in case of two they are married and one gs in army the next two are home one lives at home while going to school I could not ignore them when giving something to the rest... so guess as long as they are mostly home
sheila