Now that I'm older

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Now that I'm older

Postby IrishIroamed » Sun Oct 20, 2013 2:59 pm

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's patootie anymore.

... If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

... A whale swims all day, mainly eat fish, drinks water, but is still fat.

... A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while

... A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

…And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?

7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

16. It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU?
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Re: Now that I'm older

Postby mitch5252 » Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:12 pm

..
LOL - 4, 5, and 19 cracked me up!
..
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Re: Now that I'm older

Postby BirdbyBird » Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:35 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Does that mean I have to remember what 4,5 and 19 are without looking them back up? :shock:
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Re: Now that I'm older

Postby Aokay » Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:50 pm

Very funny.

And ...OH YEAH...can relate to ALL the above now. :lol: You gotta find the humor in that dreaded 3 letter word!


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Re: Now that I'm older

Postby Excel » Sun Oct 20, 2013 6:21 pm

No kidding !!! :shock:
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Re: Now that I'm older

Postby VickieP » Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:20 pm

:lol: :lol:
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Re: Now that I'm older

Postby judi » Mon Oct 21, 2013 2:16 pm

Ha ha ha ha ha so funny!
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