Requesting support and prayers

[Travelinana]

I am the ultimate 'private' person..not sure this is a good thing. I have debated over a week about writing this message. Somehow I do feel there are some of you who are in the same position or have suffered through it. To begin, I have probably mentioned in a post that I have a chronic back condition. I have a damaged nerve which will always cause me pain in my sciatic and leg. I had my first surgery 30 years ago, another 10 years ago. Scoliosis is the reason for my problem, aggravated by my occupation at time of first surgery, hairdressing. I didn't begin taking narcotics until 10 years ago after the 2nd surgery gave me no relief. I have been trying to start traveling and I finally realized with the 'bondage' of addiction I probably couldn't get away from home for any length of time. I have to go to a pain clinic every month. I started one week ago reducing my meds, I have now cut them in half. It is very very difficult to reduce back even 1/2 pill so to cut back to half dosage in one week means I was confined to home, and no phone calls to speak of because of my suffering. I took quite alot of ibuprofen just trying to sleep as much as possible. Being 'private' I only told my business partner as he had to know. I have good friends and only told them I had a kidney infection, which I really did have. I only today feel like I might be emerging from the fog. I am watching nature, the deer in my yard, walking in the fresh air, looking at projects too long neglected, with anticipation to complete. I have a goal of being completely free from the drugs in one month. I saw my pain doctor yesterday, he said he wouldn't have advised the quick reduction as he didn't think I should have had to suffer so much but he made some changes that will help me with the remainder of my withdrawal. Anyone of you who have been here or are now just beginning this journey, I won't give any advice. I didn't want any advice or suggestions while I was perfectly happy living from one pill until the next. I well remember the first little pill and thought 'wow' I don't have to suffer now, what's one little pill per day, problem is one little pill leads to 2, then 4, then more. I am a disciplined person and I have been the model patient at the clinic, never calling saying they were stolen or lost or whatever, taking only as directed but I still learned how to manipulate even the experts. It helps to tell my story on the forum. I consider each of you friends but won't become the subject of small town gossip. I would appreciate a small prayer...God has been with me without doubt and will see me through this. Though I know the problems, financial, health, family, of some of you I say a prayer for each of you.

[VickieP]

I would appreciate a small prayer...

How about big, multiple ones! Thank you for trusting in us enough to feel comfortable in sharing what you're going through. There is no reason to feel you need to hide it, you'd be surprised (or maybe not) what other people have gone though, you just never know. We're all here for you and will keep you in our prayers, keep us updated, we care.

[mitch5252]

..

Nancy, I applaud your efforts and I just know you will succeed.
Congratulations and keep going strong - make this a Success Only Journey!
One day at a time, right?

..

[Bethers]

Nancy, How wonderful that you can trust us enough to share this. And how I applaud you the major effort this is taking and the pain, also emotional, that you are having to endure. Like Vicke and Mitch before me here - of course - mega hugs and warm thoughts and prayers now and in the future as you walk this road. I, for one, am mega proud of you.

[Rufflesgurl]

Nancy - Prayers for you during this struggle but you WILL get through because you have such a positive attitude and lots of faith. Blessings!
Stay strong.

Linda

[sharon]

Yeah, what the other girls said! Do what you feel you have to and know that no matter what we've got your back! Mega prayers going up here, too!

[AlmostThere]

Nancy, thank you for sharing your need. And I am glad you are trusting us in helping with your recovery. Prayer is powerful. Please don't hesitate to talk with us as needed.

[OutandAbout]

Wishing you all the best with your journey. We know you can do it. As the other sisters said, we're here for you. Linda

[Liz]

You have taken the first big and difficult step. My prayers are that the continuing journey will be easier with the prayers and support of your many friends who care.

I am no stranger to what you are going through. My husband, after his auto accident and spinal cord injury had lifelong intense nerve pain. Not only did he depend on strong pain medications, he also had a spinal cord stimulator implant, and even Botox injections to help with the pain. Is your doctor offering any alternative solutions/therapies for your pain, once the medications are out of your system?

God bless you.

[chalet05]

God continue your journey with you along with all our prayers.

[JudyJB]

Please do be careful. One month is pretty fast, although I can understand you want to get it over with.

I come from a family of addicts, both drugs and alcohol, so I know how difficult withdrawal is. It is the reason I hardly ever even drink--just no fun anymore after watching the difficulties others have had around me.

If it gets too difficult, you can go to a hospital for some temporary support. My mother went to a geriatric facility at age 80 and did very well.

[HorizonSeeker]

Wow! You are one tough lady to go through that on your own. Thanks for trusting us with your journey. I know how easy it is to fall into that "one little pill" will fix it trap. I found myself on sleeping pills and antidepressants after my dh died and wanting to get off. It was hard and unlike you I didn't tell hardly anyone. Now I look back on it and kind of shrug it off, but I am very cautious about taking any kinds of meds since then. Yes, I need those things at the time, but after I was through dealing with the funeral and such after a few months I knew I had to get off all that and just deal with life or remain on them for the rest of my life. And I have friends who are on one or both of those pills and have been for years, nor would they consider stopping. But that's their choice, not mine. So congratulations for making your own choices and looking the tough choices in the eye and laughing. You'll go far now!

[Irmi]

I can't really add to what anyone else has said, but please know you will be in my prayers. I hope you'll be feeling better real soon.

[Gentleladybear]

Nancy you have my complete support and prayers that you will continue peacefully through this process. You have made a difficult decision not only to kick the pain pills but to also share your story. You are a strong person and may the prayers help you to continue on your journey.

Nan

[cpatinjones]

You can do it. We are here for you!