The Widder Douglas Has A Widder Question

[mitch5252]

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Ya know what's weird? I went to my first Forum GTG (Nashville) alone (2008?), and later, with all of G's mental health issues, I did ALL the work of our other trips. He was unable to contribute in any way (I'm not at all complaining, just explaining). However, now that he's gone, I'm actually scared to hit the road by myself. This is coming from a former adrenalin junkie (and still is somewhat)!! Go figure!!!

Any insight? Or am I just being an idiot? (SHUT UP, Vickie!)

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[Redetotry]

Hey Widder D I'm finding I'm not adventurous as I once was either especially without a dog. Maybe we could meet up at KY Lake, after I stop in Paducah at the bakery when it gets a widdle warmer.

[VickieP]

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Or am I just being an idiot? (SHUT UP, Vickie!)

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[BirdbyBird]

For many I think there is always that part of us that keeps regarding the "reality" of what "might" happen that lurks around our head like a cloud and nags at our insides. We can not control what different parts of our brain do but we can control our responses to them. We just climb in the rig and go anyway. As you travel down the roads there is definitely a shift when the memories of the new possible take over. The more you climb in the rig and go the easier it is. ....and you wonder why you made it so hard...

It also helps me to consider all the adventures and misadventure that I have read about others here on the forum and they all survived those travels to write about them. If I am going to be afraid, I choose to face it on the road than a prisoner of the unknown (or the known) here at the stick house.

[mitch5252]

Hey Widder D I'm finding I'm not adventurous as I once was either especially without a dog. Maybe we could meet up at KY Lake, after I stop in Paducah at the bakery when it gets a widdle warmer.

That sounds like a plan...can't get in too much trouble heading for Kentucky Lake! Or that place up north by you that I was at with the girls a few years ago. It was a state park.

[dpf]

Mitch,
(((Hug))) I think the feelings you are experiencing are probably quite normal and all of us know that you aren’t complaining. Even though George couldn’t contribute with the physical labor associated with traveling with the RV, you still had the security of support through his presence. Naturally you’re going to feel a little nervous at first. Let’s face it you’ve had one hellish year and throughout that time you really haven’t had a minute to think about yourself. It’s only been a month and no doubt during that time you have had to make a multitude of difficult decisions. Give yourself some healing time. It might be in baby steps but you’re going to know when you’re ready for you and Abby to hit the road.

We're all going to be here cheering you on...when you're ready.

SO STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP….NANCY!

[mitch5252]

SO STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP….NANCY!

I'll stop beating myself up, if you'll stop calling me NANCY!

(4 weeks, 4 days, 20 hours...but who's counting?)

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[VickieP]

SO STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP….NANCY!

I'll stop beating myself up, if you'll stop calling me NANCY!

(4 weeks, 4 days, 20 hours...but who's counting?)

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It still makes me giggle when I see her on TV. Thanks G!

[cpatinjones]

For many I think there is always that part of us that keeps regarding the "reality" of what "might" happen that lurks around our head like a cloud and nags at our insides. We can not control what different parts of our brain do but we can control our responses to them. We just climb in the rig and go anyway. As you travel down the roads there is definitely a shift when the memories of the new possible take over. The more you climb in the rig and go the easier it is. ....and you wonder why you made it so hard...

It also helps me to consider all the adventures and misadventure that I have read about others here on the forum and they all survived those travels to write about them. If I am going to be afraid, I choose to face it on the road than a prisoner of the unknown (or the known) here at the stick house.

Well said! I agree, too.

[Acadianmom]

I think one of the things that has happened to me is that I have gotten older and hopefully wiser. I know when I'm out on the road alone if something happens it's up to me to get help, something repaired, whatever. When I was in my 20's I would get on the road with a 3 year old any hour of the day or night going to Houston or Dallas. Never gave a thought to what might happen. Now I don't want to drive at night because if there is something in the road I'm probably not going to see it in time. I have had enough trouble to know how hard it is to get help in the day time much less at night or on a holiday weekend. I try to keep my vehicles well maintained and hope for the best.

Stress can make you do strange things and you have had plenty of that. Twenty years ago my mother-in-law was in and out of the hospital and we knew it was a matter of time. My mother couldn't stay by herself so my sister and I were taking turns keeping her. I put my son in a camp/summer school in Mississippi and he didn't want to be there. And I was working. I was going every other weekend to Mississippi to see my son. I started having panic attacks on the road. The drive to Mississippi on I-10 was a nightmare to me. Now I make that trip and wonder what was I thinking.

Like Tina said, you just have to do it. The longer you wait between trips the harder is is. Make plans to meet up with someone, go to a GTG. I feel like I could get on the road and have GTG's from one coast to the other. Look around your area and see if there is a woman's camping club. It took me a long time to find women to camp with and now I can't go to all the rallies that I know about.

Martha

[bluepinecones]

Tina has such wonderful talent for perfect expression.
Do go meet BJ at lake. That is so close by.
When you are ready to venture just a tiny bit farther, come see me. You are welcome anytime and for however long you'd like to stay - with or without your RV.

[AlmostThere]

Mitch,
(((Hug))) I think the feelings you are experiencing are probably quite normal and all of us know that you aren’t complaining. Even though George couldn’t contribute with the physical labor associated with traveling with the RV, you still had the security of support through his presence. Naturally you’re going to feel a little nervous at first. Let’s face it you’ve had one hellish year and throughout that time you really haven’t had a minute to think about yourself. It’s only been a month and no doubt during that time you have had to make a multitude of difficult decisions. Give yourself some healing time. It might be in baby steps but you’re going to know when you’re ready for you and Abby to hit the road.

We're all going to be here cheering you on...when you're ready.

SO STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP….NANCY!

Good reasoning, Pat, and Tina also. You'll get thru it, Mitch! Time....will make all the difference. Hugs!

[Carolinagal]

Mitch, what you are feeling is just normal. Like others said you just have to do it. If you want to do something, tell yourself YOU ARE AND DO IT.

I was just where you are now, only I was scared of my own shadow. I lived way out, no friends, family around and I had to live in this big place ALL by myself and being all by myself, in my life was scary enough. I had always loved traveling and I had this r.v., well 5 months after I was left alone, I decided I would go visit 3 of our children, Mo. Co. and Az. I was fine getting everything ready to go, because my husband and I, did everything together and I without realizing it had picked up on all that had to be done to get ready for a trip. all of that was a piece of cake. You've been doing all of that stuff alone , so thats beat.

What was the most terrifying thing I had ever done was head out on this so called trip, I had planned. I was shaking all over soooo bad, I am surprised I was able to drive. 5 miles down the road, I said what am I doing I can't do this. that word 'can't' hit a cord and I decided instantly I WAS GOING TO DO IT. The first real test was driving through Chattanooga, keep in mind I had never really driven this thing except once when George had a flu bug. I got through C. , no problems, and through those mountains and thought I can do this. (I had driven a truck for most of my life, so that helped). You've been driving your rig and setting up for ages, so thats beat. You have Abby, she will loan you courage too, she depends on you, so you still have that warm body with you.(company)

I had a fabulous time, 8800 miles later, I drove back into my driveway, and said " I can do this !" I have been over 70,000 miles in the old r.v, 3/4 of that time totally alone and have been over most of this country and need to do it again and again, because you can never see it all. When I start out on a trip I am still a little nervous the first few miles, but that passes now, as the countryside is so wonderful and its so freeing to be out on the open road. Now, I am talking backroads for the most part. I do interstates only when I have too, or time is limited.

So, as I said at the beginning your feelings are normal,(if not, don't clue me in ) You just need to do it and short trips and a GTG with a Sistah, may be the answer to get you on the road. Any goal you set for yourself, get things ready, and start out, the panic feeling will pass and you will do fine. You have been a very courages, determined woman for all these yrs. and have had to do all for yourself and your loved one, So you can do this for yourself. You have Sistahs close who can meet you and before long you will be really alright in everyway. Hang in there, we all love ya and we're here for you. ok?

You are not alone in this situation, so many have been there, so you are fine, just something you have to work through. You're as normal as any of us, and we won't go futher into that subject for now quit doubting yourself, you have always done everything, and you still can, you just have to decide when.

Take care, I'll be looking forward to seeing where you've been and what you're up to.
CArol

[Nasoosie]

If there was any way I had the time and energy to do it, I would be tempted to drive to wherever you are and caravan with you back here to the FL GTG. By the time you did anything with me, the nervousnessest Nelly of all time, as you may remember, you would reallize just how un-nervous you are in comparison! You wouldn't be able to WAIT to shake me!

I think you are doing amazingly well for yourself----after all, you are able to talk about your feelings, which is paramount to healing, and you are considering hitting the road somewhere down the line! Whenever you are ready, and you will know when that time is, we will all build you a campfire wherever we are to meet you. We can even sing Kumbaya, which is the hippy all-timey healing song of the ages! Be gentle with yourself for a while. Lord knows, we will try to be gentle at first, too! Molly says woof to Abby, too! (I wonder if the Widder Sparkle has invaded your body? Now wouldn't that be a real dang treat around a campfire!)

[Liz]

One day at a time, (((Mitch))), one day at a time. When you are ready, the adrenalin will kick in. And no matter where you go, there's bound to be at least one of us to bug you, er, I mean hug you.