kdmac wrote:<snip>>>>>>>
I am rambling here with wierd thoughts. But the other day I had a thought regarding how we are in our core makeup, be it nurture or nature or a combination thereof we all have a core personality. I realize we can change some things but core traits won't change. It's akin to saying,"You are made of "topaz" why don't you try to be more like the people that are "sapphire" they don't care about injustice toward themselves or anyone else, you really should try to be more "sapphire."
Aint gonna happen, we are what we are,we may have polished up or cut some facets along the way but a topaz is a topaz is a topaz.
I like your use of the term "core personality." For a long time I have realized, while observing myself, kids at school, other adults, and my own kids, that we are born with a certain way of interpreting our environment and how we feel about the way it treats us. I have seen some babies who come into the world in the traumatic manner in which we all arrive calm right down as if to say, "Is that all there is to that? I guess I can deal with this new place. I am feeling less scared and more comfortable now. Guess I can stop crying and enjoy myself." And there are those babies who come out screaming bloody murder, shaking all over, screeching at the top of their new little air-breathing lungs, mad at everything, never comfy, always scared, always needing comforting, suffering with every little gas pain, and seemingly thinking, "This is a really hostile, scary place and everyone and everything is out to get me or hurt me! I need to fight!" Luckily, most of us fall somewhere in the middle of those extremes, but I am convinced we carry our attitudes with us throughout our lives.
If my sister-in-law, for instance, loses her car keys can just calm down and say, "They will turn up." If they don't show, she calmly deals with the next processes to fix things. If I or my brother, however, lose our car keys, (or anything, for that matter) we go ballistic, search frantically and endlessly and almost mindlessly, swearing at ourselves, at the world, at the frustration, at life in general, making everyone around us suffer along with us, and never give up until the keys are found or the problem of losing them is solved. I believe we both came into the world seeing it as a place of danger and life as a foe out to 'get us.' I am ashamed to know I act as I do under duress, and am always envious of people like my sister-in-law who cruises through life with very few bumps in the road. I try to change. I force myself to relax. I try to tell myself that things will work out. But in all my years of practicing, my "core personality" prevails!
Parents can teach many things to their children, but I suspect we can never change their inner view of the world and how they believe life treats them. Interesting, and fascinating.
