Life Passages

[Queen]

My lack of interest in "stuff" seems to stem from a childhood spent moving (military family), we moved something like 16 times before I started high school. No reason to get attached to anything because you can't keep much stuff when moving all the time.

As an adult I've moved many times and am looking forward to a life on the road in the not too distant future... to me stuff is an impediment.

This seems to have impacted my brother exactly the opposite, he has filled his home with things that matter to him and prefers to never move again.

Interesting conversation!

[BirdbyBird]

I have no trouble leaving a lot of stuff behind. I don't like to clean or dust and it is easier to work with less stuff. Instead I seem to keep more animals than are needed..... But I have also realized that I connected with the knowledge that my own mother, years after her divorce ended up loosing all her furniture and family heirlooms to the storage company in TX due to not paying the storage costs.....And I grew up living with a step mother that made it quite clear that things (particularly her nice things) were more valuable than people. She is still overly impressed with fine things and individuals with fancy titles and fancy houses. I don't collect collectable because they would require dusting. I do however have some artwork of my father's and now my daughter's that I would not like to part with. But they will have a life of their own as long as they are appreciated by someone....when the time comes.....

The de-stuffing that was difficult for me when I first started was giving away books..... I love books and all the ideas and dreams and stories that they represent.

[ali1257]

When we started this lifestyle (November 2006) we filled one 12x20 storage unit to the brim. Granted about half of it was Ron's plumbing tools and supplies - he was still doing full time plumbing. When Ron's mom passed in April 2008 we added a second storage unit 10x10. When we decided to come here to Texas for this job, a one year commitment, we cleaned out the smaller unit, getting rid of 27 boxes of books to a used book store down to just the one storage unit. We cleaned it our partially. And we have begun to talk about when we return to WA, for whatever time frame that will be when we are finished with this job (thinking of doing it a 2nd year to rebuild up our savings that got depleted with my eye surgery (we have no insurance - a whole other post)) that we are going to get rid of the storage unit. Either the boys take what is theirs and what they want of ours or else it is going to be gone. We will hold one storage unit sale - for one day, and whatever is left will be given away to either the local shelters or Goodwill. We have been paying storage fees for almost 5 years and it will be at the most 7 years when we are done - what we could have done with all that money - but such is life and lessons learned. If we ever decide to get another house or apartment or condo we will find what we need when we need it.

[sharon]

I had good intentions last month, took pictures of a lot of stuff to put on Craigs, but that was as far as I got. Then when I was packing for this trip and deciding what to bring, I ended up sorting out clothes that I hadn't worn in forever, probably wouldn't again. I can't believe how much went in the bags. Not sure if they are going to the Goodwill or going to have a yard sale when I get home. I'm certainly not planning on going full time, but eventually into a smaller home on my kids property. After having seen Karen's house, I'm thinking I could go into something that small, not what I had picked out last year. Of course that would mean giving up 2 pieces of furniture that I swore I would not give up, my dining room table and 60 inch tv. I spent 6 months in this coach when I went to Alaska and was perfectly comfortable so why do I think I need a 1200 sq ft house???? My home now is way to big for one person at 1800 sq ft.

[Pooker]

I think many of us give inanimate objects way too much power over us. We are emotionally attached to "things" in part because they remind us of people or times in our past. It is especially hard to part with those things that have real monetary value. It's so hard to realize that no one else feels the value of something we paid a lot to get. I guess the secret is to realize you have an item because YOU like it. YOU wanted it. YOU value it. Enjoy it while you have it, but the reality is no one else will feel quite the same way, so do whatever you have to do without regrets. Remember the enjoyment you received with the item, or the memories you cherish. Take pictures of the items so you can revisit the feelings from time to time. Then get rid of them without looking back . . . or NOT. Let those left behind deal with them after you're gone!

I, too, have a lot more "stuff" than one old lady needs. And even though I pared down most of my DH's things, I still have all of his awards, certificates, pictures, etc. No one cares about pictures of him with famous golfers, or the work related awards presented to him, his beloved Navy memorabelia, etc. None of my kids have a settled home with space for "stuff", so I guess I'm the last to care. Perhaps someday I'll shred or toss most of it, but for now . . . . . I'm the keeper of memories.

Pooker

[OutandAbout]

While hibernating this summer, I have been de-cluttering and cleaning. When my parents sold their house in NY in 1995, my sister and I took what we wanted and the rest went in an estate sale. When they passed they were in a condo in Florida. I gave the furniture to AM VETS but kept the other stuff. This is the stuff I was going through here. I have moved it around for too many years and never used any of it. Our tastes were so very different. It was time to give it away. I opened all the boxes and went through them all and relabeled them. I did take pictures of most of the stuff, so I will be OK giving it to Goodwill. I do not have the patience to have a garage sale and don't think I will get enough for the effort.

I am like Tina in that I don't do cleaning and dusting very well, so less is better for me and will provide a quick clean up when necessary. As other ladies have posted, my house is too big also. I don't need this much space, but will be waiting until the market turns to sell. I don't regret making the decision about de-cluttering, just kicking myself for waiting so long.

Linda

[Queen]

We opened a box of knickknacks last weekend that was wrapped in newspaper dated 2006; we hadn't set eyes on the stuff in five years! Off to Habitat.

We are having some difficulty with things that belonged to my father (gone three years) and her mom (gone a year and a half). That causes some teary moments.

[Redetotry]

We moved to this house in 1998 and I still have a lot of unopened boxes in the basement. I sold a bunch of stuff on ebay but it's almost not worth it now with the increases in fees and shipping. A lot of it is linens, the kind no one wants any longer plus other items that are no longer collectible or not worth near what we paid. I give some of it away sometimes to people that I know will appreciate or use it. I haven't decided what to do, may just leave it and let whoever buys or inherits the place have a surprise. Neither of us have children so there isn't anyone who wants any of the few family items that I have kept from my Grandparents.

[Colliemom]

Well, I too have gotten rid of a lot of "stuff" these past few years since my dad passed away. I'm alone, I have nobody to give it to or whatever, so I got rid of it in garage sales etc. Haven't missed a thing either. Been that boat, canoe, sailboat, scooter, bike, whatever route. All gone. although some days I wish I had my kayak yet. Can always get another. I had a full wall sized china cabinet that we originally had built over at our lake home and mom stored all her china pieces she had accumulated over the years and were in our original home attic. When mom died and dad and I moved over here, we left the cabinet at the lake house. But I missed that cabinet and wanted to put out the china again. That way it made the new house feel kind of like "home". So we had it moved over here as the new owners didn't really want it anyway. But as time has gone on, I got tired of dusting and caring for all that stuff and like I said, no use saving it for anybody else as they will just give it away or sell it off. So I sold it all. Haven't even missed it. I've gotten rid of a lot of my parents stuff over the years. I need to make my own life and accumulate my own stuff, the which of I don't have a lot anymore. I'm pretty much down to bare bones here now. Only what I use and it feels so good. Can clean house in no time.

As to the TT, that may go on the market too. With current gas prices as they are, camping is getting expensive. Plus my other expenses keep rising and my income is taking a big hit. So as much as I love the RV lifestyle, I might just let it all go and wait a couple of years till i retire and start over again. In the meantime I can get a smaller gas efficient vehicle (a Ford Flex perhaps) and the dogs and I can go back to our day trip roaming again. There are resorts and cabins we can rent at and enjoy too.

[Queen]

Colliemom - sounds like a sensible plan, you live in such a beautiful area that day tripping and the occasional cabin rental would be a great substitute for the TT.

[Queen]

Been a few years since I started this thread, so I thought I'd do an update.

In the intervening years I've taken care of my mom until she passed, put my desire to hit the road full time on hold, downsized then downsized again, had a knee replacement, and moved to Florida.

Sometimes I'm shocked by how quickly the years go by and how outcomes change; I still REALLY want an RV but life and lack of time kept getting in the way and as much as I dislike it, it's still tenting for us.

In the course of downsizing we have gotten rid of almost every extraneous item, we now live in a 650 sqft condo and I'd like to get rid of still more and go full time... but compromise and patience with my honey is the order of the day. She has an attachment to the remaining stuff and needs a home base... so I wait.

How's everyone else doing?

[judi]

When I rented out my home in Portland I put everything in two storage units. My basement had an entire room dedicated to kitchen wares and dishes because I have a large family and actually used all that stuff. I had intended to return to my home after a year of full timing in my little Class B MH. Well, a year came and went, I rented my home again, and now I have no plan to return to it (too big) and have settled in a little cottage on the Oregon coast. I need to go to the storage units and decide what I want to bring to the cottage, but the thought of doing that intimidates me. I will have to hire a helped or two, since the storage units are piled high with heavy items. I dread doing it. Dread.

I have a difficult time getting rid of books. I can sit by a book shelf and browse and read all day long.

[Queen]

I hear you about books, Judi. Since 2005 I've gotten rid of over 5000 books in my collection, plus the accompanying bookcases. I'm down to around 300 and it weirds me out a bit, but I try to remind myself the library is close by... and I mat break down and get a kindle to scratch the itch.

[Wanderer2]

Stuff oh stuff! Here is what I have done. Now you have to understand that I love garage sales and thrift shops and repurposing things as I am an avid crafter.
Soooooooo-I now only hit a garage sale maybe once a month. Thrift shops sometimes too, but I am on the road to recovery! Wah-Hoo!
I have cleaned out closets and gotten ride of clothes that I don't know why I bought or haven't worn. Went to the thrift shop-probably where I bought them:))
Sold some furniture, but can't sell anymore unless I get rid of more stuff.
It is hard to kick memories to the curb and say I can't keep all of this. So picking out the most important, and will probably end up storing some stuff when I sell the house.
The big clean out will probably be when I sell the house because I am a procrastinator.
And paper and old pics are another whole story....Well, you know

[PeggyinCT]

Mickie, thanks for bringing this topic back. I had a life passage experience last winter on a beautiful winter day. The sun was shining and the snow was perfect for x-country skiing. Did I go? No, with no excuse I knew I was done with that phase of my life. I put the skis, boots, poles even socks out on the sidewalk in the snow bank and they were gone by 10pm that evening. I kept my snowshoes, but they will probably go next winter because I didn't go snowshoeing either.
Peggy