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Dear Herschel,
You know my heart belongs to you, but I grow weary of waiting in vain for the return of my affections.
There is a new man about town (Palmersville, that is...).
His name is Jake, and I think, as good looking as he is, he used to be a Chippendoggy.
(ooooo, I get all goose-bumply think of him clad in nothing but a black tie...)
PS: That little white-butted hussy there is his sister, so no competition for me in that regard...
So far, I have kept myself true to you - Jake has not sniffed by butt, nor touched my toys, nor eaten my cookies laying all over the house.
I have kept him in the kitchen and out of my heart.
(On the other hand, I've had to put his sister in her place...she's much younger and all goofy and wiggly and jumpy. I have no fondness for her.)
Love,
Abby
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