It's About Time

[Forestgal]

I sure hope this link works. I found it at school and am trying to post during my lunch so I don't lose the link.

All I can say is finally the sacred cow has fallen from grace. And it's about time. I'm not about blaming, but more about holding parents accountable and having them more involved in their children's lives. If the kids just believed that we all worked as a unified team then maybe we'd see some improvement on all sorts of levels.

http://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/23/state-laws-punishing-parents-for-kids-behavior/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl9%7Csec1_lnk3%7C64814

[Birdie]

My belief is that if parents are involved, children aren't involved. I grew up in an involved parent/teacher/child environment. You screwed up at school, you paid for it at school and you paid for it again at home. No telephones, but they knew when you walked in the door. Never did figure that part out. Got the rest figured out real quick.

We also had reward for good school work at home. Just now going thru some of my things in storage and I ran across my first and second place medals at the local college where there was competition from all the schools in about a 75 mile radius. Those were memories from way back.

So yep I believe the parents have to be involved. The teacher presents, the children absorb/learn, and parents give positive reinforcement of one kind or another. When that happens, I think for the most part the bad teachers get moved out or on and the bad as well as the good student is recognized.

[Echo]

I feel badly for the parent who is doing what he or she can to raise a kid right. Parents can try their best but if a "kid" is totally unresponsive, what is a parent to do?

Had a friend in MA who was having lots of problems with her daughter. No matter what "O" did, it was not enough. Girl skipped school, ran with a bad crowd, lied, was a thief and "O " really had no where to turn. "O" got busted for non-supervision. Girl went to bed, 5 minutes or less later the girl was out the window and gone. Guess who/what they sent for a case worker??? A gay woman who had never had kids. This woman proceeded to tell "O" how to have/conduct a heterosexual relationship and how to raise kids.

Mother in TN got arrested and thrown in jail because her daughter skipped school. Mother had been warned that it would happen if the daughter skipped school again. Mother escorted the daughter to school and right into the classroom. Teacher took over. Before homeroom started the girl was out the door. Mom got arrested.

Where is the justice in those two stories??? Who is to blame???????????

Parents are afraid to discipline their kids because of charges of child abuse. Dust a kids britches once and you can be arrested. There are so many single parent homes and somebody, the Mom or Dad has to work. Sometimes it's a two parent home and both have to work to keep their heads above water and by no means are they rolling in the dough. Ya work, come home clean, cook, try to help with the homework or after school activities. And yes try as you might some kids will not, for whatever reason, do what's expected.

To arrest or fine a parent is not the answer to the whole problem.

[sharon]

Have to agree with both Nancy and Echo. We were "encouraged" to bring home good grades. My children were both read to from birth, both got excellent grades in school. The difference between son and daughter? Daughter had to work for her grades, son didn't, showed up on Friday's, took the test, copped an A, but got a C in his classes for not being there. Did I try to stop him from skipping school? Of course. Spent the day several times escorting him to and from class. I would bring a chair, thermos of coffee, a book and wait outside his class until it was over and then escort him to the next one. But as Echo pointed out, I had a job and could only take so much time off. You do what you can.

My DD is a teachers aide. Primary language spoken at her school is Spanish and the parents have no interest in their children learning English. They don't care. And that is the reason both of my grandchildren go to a private school. They cannot get an education in the public school system in Ca. That's just not right.

But I do remember a few times son came home and told me the teacher was picking on him. My response...and just what did you do to deserve this?? Yes, I knew my son. Thank goodness he finally grew up to be a pretty good man. But I had reservations about that when he was a teen.

[BirdbyBird]

There are influences from peers and media, etc that were not around even a few years ago. And there are mental health issues that effect children that are real.....but from working with students with "special needs" and severe behavioral issues, I think that the biggest issues are the ones that "Nanny 911" and "Super Nanny" show in most dramatic form on TV. Many parents do not realize that responsibility and manners start from early childhood. (Regardless of ability or disability) A child does not suddenly at 12 or 14 decide to be responsible and "Cute" is not acceptable in place of manners and taking care of business. It is not easy...... So glad that mine are grown.