Oct Book - Merle's Door: Lessons from a Freethinking Dog

[Sunseeker]

I had a problem from the beginning thinking that pet-ownership should come with the responsibility of keeping the pet safe...which of course included restrictions of some type. Early in the book I don't think Ted would have taken responsbility if Merle had been aggressive to yet un-met dogs or people. It was like, "Oh well". Did his free nightly wanderings insure no harm from human, technology or other animals would come to him.

I haven't finished yet, and might be retracting this

[Echo]

Well my book came in the mail today. So I will be digging into it this week. If I don't finish it before we leave to go camping I will over the weekend while we are relaxing at the campground.

So I'm not gonna peek and see what all you Sistahs have said about the book. Like a movie I want to watch/read it first and discover the ending on my own.

[Sunseeker]

I finally finished reading this and can't stop thinking about it. I would have loved to meet the "Mayor of Kelly". I don't agree with many of Merle's freedoms, and still think it was pretty irresponsible of Kerasote to let him roam. Whatever happened to Gray Cat could certainly have happened to Merle as well. Don't you think Ted seemed a bit nonchalant about Gray Cat's dissappearance? Would he have felt the same if Merle failed to come home, or if he saw him laying dead on the side of the road to town?

Great book though. Very educational and entertaining.

[retiredhappy]

Jill, I completely agree with you about Ted being irresponsible. Merle could have been run over or hurt by a big animal and he may or may not found out about it for days. I also had a problem with how long he let him hang on at the end. Merle had no quality of life - couldn't even go to the bathroom and was soiling himself as well as his bedding and since most animals WON'T soil their beds, he must have been as mortified as a dog is capable of being. Only because they lived in a completely rural area with a small population could Ted get away with this. I just feel that in return for getting so much love and care she owe our animal companions the responsibility of taking care of them. I do agree with Ted that animals understand so much more than we give them credit for, verbally as well as on an emotional level. I know my dogs know when I'm not feeling well or am upset about something.

[Sunseeker]

Karen, I also really had a hard time reading about Merle's last months. I know Ted decided to let him ride it out naturally and let life take it's course...but enough is enough. In one passage Merle looked at him as if to say,"" Hey, Buddy...what's happening to me?", (not the direct quote), but how about if Ted had interpreted, "It's o.k. to help me now partner...I'm on to other things".

I think his life could have ended with more dignity. That was one hell of a dog!

[Bethers]

I've also gone back and forth on all you both just mentioned. On the one hand, as far as the roaming, I wonder - well, I wouldn't like to be a kid today and have to wear a helmet with my bicycle, etc - and I can somewhat equate that to Merle's roaming - as they lived in a very rural area - and all my relatives on the farm - their dogs roam to a certain extent. Merle was not allowed to roam in the city. Now, I'm not defending this - I just know how much Tips loved the freedom when we spent 3 or 4 months on a farm one winter - and yep, he roamed, rarely off the farm, but he did visit the neighboring farm more than once. Maybe that was irresponsible of me, and yes, I worried like heck about it - but I also knew that he absolutely loved what he was doing and there was no place that he could run like that.

As to the end - the day that Moxie could no longer stand up to go potty - I took her to the vet's. Sometimes I'm not sure if I did that more for her or for me - because her meds had her not in pain. But I couldn't imagine that she wanted to be in that position - the same as I wish if that day ever came for me, the same could be done. That said, if she had been human, I wouldn't have been allowed to do what I did for/to(?) her. I would have had to do what was done for/to Merle, and let her leave this world naturally. This is rhetorical - if it's humane to euthanize our pets - why is it inhumane to do the same for our human loved ones? This book has made me think of this more and more - and while I wouldn't do things any differently with Moxie or Tips - I'm not sure that Merle's death was with any less dignity or love - which I first thought.

Now - how about reading how Merle skiied, etc? Wasn't that cool? I think Moxie would have loved that - she just loved the cold and snow - Tips might have also. I don't think it would be Peaches cup of tea, though.

[retiredhappy]

Actually I think we should be able to help loved ones leave this earth if there is no quality of life left - I know that is what I would wish. I have given my doctor pretty definite instructions, in writing, and discussed it with my daughter, about my wishes if there is no quality of life. The reason they crate dogs for potty training is their aversion to soiling their beds so I can only imagine how Merle must have felt when he couldn't control himself. I know Ted said Merle wasn't in any pain but I still think it would have been an act of love to help him go over the rainbow bridge gently.

As for roaming, I guess my feelings stem from losing two dogs when I was a kid to being run over by a car even tho we lived in a pretty rural area. And all it takes is one aggressive dog to spoil the picture of a happy pack as evidenced by the white German Shepard.

I loved the description of Merle skiing on the snow. It sounded like he was having so much fun.

I'm such a worry-wart that I couldn't even get to sleep until both dogs and the cat were inside and settled for the night. The cat, I might add, was not too happy with this situation and would often wake me up early in the morning by batting my face with her paw.

[AlmostThere]

On the farm our dogs aways were free to roam. Most farmers got dogs for protection; of their property or animals. They were his first line of defense. A dog in the house or tied up couldn't do much defending, only warn of an intruder. By the time the farmer got his pants on and out the door the chickens would be already gone or killed, or property stolen.

I got a bit tired of Ted interjecting what 'he' thought Merle was thinking; putting human feelings to the dog's expressions or actions. Yes, we can figure out when a dog wags it's tail it's happy, when it cowers it's scared, when it bears it's teeth it's angry and about to attack. And yes, they will react to your own body language. But I think he went a bit overboard in his analysing.

[Sunseeker]

I really enjoyed this video and wanted to share it with all of you.

http://www.kerasote.com/merlevideo-sm.html

[retiredhappy]

Thanks Jill. LOVE the ones with him sliding in the snow.Whether we agree with Ted's methods or not, there was a lot of love there. Also, don't you adore the one with Merle and the cat butt to butt on the sofa?

[Bethers]

I loved watching that - thanks for the link

I read a couple of his essays while there - and while reading those, got a recent newsletter from the Humane Society I used to be with. Got me reading and thinking about some other things. At the humane society we use to teach people how to handle dogs when they meet. I don't know if you're aware of this - but dogs will be more difficult when meeting, and much more aggresive, when on a leash. Why? Because they don't feel safe. When not on a leash, they can come up and run away if necessary. The restraint of the leash scares them and makes them react differently.

We had a wonderful fenced in dog park near where I lived in WI. It started by a couple who loved dogs and wanted their own dog to be able to run. They let their friends bring dogs, then made it public. It has no one on duty - but has a list of rules when you get there. One of the rules is that no dog is allowed to be on a leash in the dog park. Yes, we all brought our dogs on leashes, and put them on again to leave, but within the park, leashes were not allowed. By making this rule, they cut out most dog fights. Of course, owners were expected to be responsible for their dogs also while there - but I remember sending some people there with their dogs to use the dog park to socialize their dogs. It worked wonders - for both the people and the dogs.

Way off the subject, sorry - but my mind got to thinking - yep, we won't all agree with everything written in the book - or each other, for that matter. But that book and much of the research he did - made me rethink lots of things. Most I still came back to my same opinion - but I did change some things. Sometimes Peaches has to walk with me - but often now, I walk with her. I don't think she thinks less of me for giving her that lead lots of times.

[mtngal]

I just finished "Merle" and am sorry my connection is toooo slow to view the slideshow of his life with Ted, will see it when I get to Austin.

Mostly I loved the book and Merle and Ted. The research was excellent. And so many fun adventures. But the most excellent part to me was the communication between Merle and Ted. My closest experience with that kind of relationship was with my horse Gambler. When telling people about him I would compare him to Mr. Ed from the TV show but that was more about his crazy personality. Few folks understand about real communication between an animal and a human, and it's difficult to explain. I think Ted did a fantastic job.

You all have made excellent points about the roaming free issues and responsibilities. It is a different world now. When we were growing up in country we ran free too. Not just our dogs. That can't happen anymore.

I think I understood that Kelly is in a national park? That is also troublesome to think about dogs running free.

A couple earmarked pages:
91: "He was constantly monitoring what was going on around him, rather than being distracted, as I often was, by assumptions, projections, and hopes."

93: "This sense of utter familiarity with a place that was more of a home than the one I had grown up in......it was a feeling that friends of mine sometimes spoke about....the sense of walking old ground."

196: "....in the space of only four years together, Merle and I had worked our way back to the time when people and animals 'spoke the same language,' as one old Inuit song recounts."

Thanks Beth for choosing this book, above all, it was a perfect love story.

[Sparkle]

As I was reading the posts I was thinking of what I was going to say, but I don't need to add anything. mtngal "gets it."

[Bethers]

Sparkle, thanks for coming back to this thread - as I just reread Diana's comments, and here I am blubbering again. Yes, Diana, it was/is a love story.

[Echo]

I did finally finish the book a couple of weeks ago. Totally loved the book.

But will have to post my thought's tomorrow. I need to get my butt to bed. 6hrs of sleep last night left me heavy eyed today.

Gonna set up my coffee pot and jump under the covers with my Shade puppy. Tho she doesn't get under the blankets. To warm for her I guess?