Decisions..Decisions

[Travelinana]

I love to read this forum everyday and noticed right away that not only do you talk about your chosen modes of rving, but some of you are wrestling with decisions of which way to do this. I normally am a 'keep it to myself person' finally making my decisions after much thought and dreaming.. with this forum I have used your own situations comparing to my own and I might add it does help me. I have decided to talk mine out to you and hopefully receive your input and maybe just support on what I ultimately do. I hope it's not so long you lose interest
I currently have a very nice 24' motor home. It's high end quality and should last me my lifetime if I keep it. For my occasional traveling it is perfect. I have mentioned I have a partner. For those of you against 'living together' I will say straight out this is what I am doing. It works perfectly for both of us and first of all we are really good friends and business partners as this is where it all began. We have a business 'setting and servicing aquariums and bird aviaries' in various establishments including homes. I own a rent house that is commercially located. We have decided to put in a store related to our business, selling tropical fish and birds, giving help and support for those who are trying to manage their own aquarium or bird aviary. Mel is expert at this, I am the bookkeeper. I have the traditional house, large garage and all full of stuff. I am several years older and we have agreed that I will travel on my own occasionally either with a friend or by myself if I so desire. I actually love traveling by myself and Rudy of course. It is a hassle though, you all know this, with house, vehicles, etc. to take care of We are considering this: We plan to get our business on a level to interest a buyer and bring what we think it is worth.
We know this will take a few years but are hoping a couple will have us to this point. I want to sell this house, in fact have an estate sale and move into 36' 5th wheel (5er as you say). There is a nice place on the back of the house (store) to park it and live in it with full hookups. I have never had a problem living in small spaces, in fact I love it. We will certainly reduce our living costs and might have us on the road sooner. It's not a pleasant thought but I'm 66 and my birthday's are coming too fast now for procrastination. I have found the RV I want and it has put me on overdrive with my thoughts. Mel doesn't care. The only thing he would give up is his garden. He has a beautiful garden spot here and is a wonderful gardener. He is also an adaptor and likes his work better than anything. He isn't as gung ho on traveling but is such a people person workamping will suit him perfectly. He is talented, is a plumber, wood worker, gardener, just about anything he sets his mind on he can do. I told my kids many years ago to get ready I was most likely going to satisfy the gypsy in me in my golden years and here I am. They love me and just smile on learning my latest plan or actvity
I have found out many of you unloaded your houses and many personal items. I like most have some things I can't part with, hopefully my kids will take alot of it but they don't have an abundance of space either. I hate paying storage fees (such a waste) and we will set up a storage building in the back yard of store also. As I speak I am wanting to take my notebook, start walking around the house, listing what goes and what goes into the storage room. Maybe I'll be lucky and someone will want it furnished, dishes and all
I know you're reading this and thinking 'she has her mind made up' so all I can say is 'go for it'. Please point out known obstactles I am not aware of or hasn't entered my mind yet. Thanks to all...you're so diversified, so brave, interesting and talented and I'm glad I found you

[sharon]

1) As far as living arrangements, to each his own and whatever floats your boat. 2) At your age, you need to speed up your plans and get thee self on the road, IF that's where you want to be. The only thing wrong I see is the timeline, none of us is getting any younger and crap happens. Go do what makes you happy. Stuff is just stuff, memories count for more. (This from a woman who doesn't want to give up her dining room table and will probably be laying on her death bed wishing she had sold the durn table and gone on the road) That's the only 2 cents I have left at the moment and you're welcome to it.

[kdmac]

I had such an urge to continue the lie I always led before I married this last time. He is the very finest of men and the kindest most gentle soul but I couldn't get him out of the house to even take a drive...I had always been a camper/explorer/ hiker/boater and just made a mistake marrying a man that went with me the first frew years than slowly I went alone...had a TT but got him in it only a few times...I went alone more than with. We had the most beautiful house with a view to Canada from our cliff top on Camano Island WA...just fabulous....I realized I was 58 and only had my 60's to really go and do...God willing...and expected my 70's I still could do many things...so I simply let it all go and figured the magnificent adventures and views I would see would make up for my loss. Bought the TT and drove down that driveway for the last time. I just knew I didn't have much time left and I want to winter in the desert and explore Colorado, and Wyoming, check out Texas and New Mexico, see the cliff dwelling and Canyon de Chelly do as much as I possibly can before I can't.

If you read on all the RV sites about what to expect while "full-timing" you will see how many times they suggest you do some "trial" trips first with whomever you are considering full-timing with. Will they have the same passion, can they drive long distances, can you get along being so close together, is thier enthusiasm the same as yours over a sunset or grazing elk in the Tetons? It's better to go alone if not.

I gathered up family photos...favorite art peices, jewelry, favorite set of dishes, more books than I should have and loaded them in my TT. The rest of my family treasures I gave to my sisters. The lovely furniture, and other artwork stayed with my husband...I don't even miss it. It's just stuff.

You've heard it before..."The regrets at the end of life are not the things you did, but the things you did not do"

[kdmac]

[quote="kdmac"]I had such an urge to continue the lie I always led before I married this last time.

That is "life" not "lie" ..... that is sooo funny!

[sharon]

Yeah, I wondered what that was all about, kd! I wanted to hear about the big lie!!!

[rvgrammy1953]

Dear Nancy.....
I see that you have been doing alot of soul searching and are leaning towards "hitting the road"......And have alot more questions to answer for yourself....The good news is that you have started.... Now to the individual items....

1.) I'm a firm believer that in relationships, you have to be friends, first....(If Ernie & I hadn't been friends first, we'd have never made it to 34 yrs. Long story, and someday sitting around the campfire somewhere, we'll tell you about it...)

2.) As has been said before, stuff is just stuff, memories are more important.....My thought was, What if we lost everything in a fire, natural disaster, or heaven forbid, some idiot dropped "the BIG ONE"....all I would have would be my hubby, my kids, and my dog....but most of all....MY MEMORIES!!....so parting with the family china, grandma's sewing machine, or that crystal we got in Germany, wasn't hard....The kids have some of that stuff, my nieces have some of it....and the rest went the way of yard sales and the Good -will....

3.) Selling our house happened 12-13 years ago when the market was better, so can't help there....but, boy, when it was gone, what a feeling of freedom from up keep, property taxes, etc.....

4.) We so enjoy our 5er....it works the best for us....Ernie isn't a fan of having to worry about 2 engines if we had a MH, cause we'd have to have a Tow vehicle, too....We so enjoy exploring when we are parked somewhere....where as we already have our "touring vehicle" in our truck that also hauls our "home on wheels"....but others are happy with their arrangements....So to each their own....

Okay, I'll stop....just wanted to give you the whys and whats we did and hope I didn't confuse you more.....as I stated at the beginning, you only can make these decisions and answer the questions for what is good for you....

Good luck and keep us posted...

[flick4411]

Dear Nancy

I know totally how you feel! I will be in your shoes soon enough. I will bee interested in the various responses...as I have a household full of memories from my travels/living around the world. Some of it can go easily; other pieces I'm not sure I want to part with yet. I will do the storage thing for a while...after retirement, I will need to settle for a while in Washington State to be near my parents who are pushing 80. For now, they are doing well in all ways, but I owe it to them to be around in their later years since I've been everywhere but WA for the last 32 years. But after that, I want to follow in your footsteps! So I will be lurking around and reading this thread; I hope you don't mind...

[Bethers]

I'm not a hoarder (for lack of a better term) but still, was convinced by many I'd be sorry to get rid of everything. So I put a LOT in storage. Paid the fees. Had the storage facility broken into twice - lost a little each time (they mainly were looking for guns, etc, so I didn't lose much). But it was a headache - and most of it was stuff I could have sold, some for possibly good money. I got fed up, went and did a garage sale directly fromt the storage unit one weekend, then gave everything else to charity. They got some dang good stuff. And I got rid of a big weight off my shoulders. I did save my pictures and scanned them all, then dumped them. The only things I didn't sell or give away is some of the artwork I paid for over the years - and those pieces I was lucky enough to be able to leave with my sister. She worries they are in her basement, dampness, etc - but for me - hopefully if I do ever have a place to hang them, they'll be available. If not, I tried and so did she. The people in your life (and animals!) are what's really important. And those that have moved, or left us, well, we have them in our hearts and memories - and that is what is dear to me. The things are just that THINGS. I was so glad, like Lori, to let go of them.

Like others said before me here - time doesn't stop - do this while you want to. I am not old enough to be doing this. I'm not old enough for retirement. But I watched my best friend die in her early 50's and thought, that could be me. We don't know when our time will be here. I can try to make it be a long, long time from now, but I still don't know. So I went for it.

What I'm saying here is - your plan sounds good - except for the couple years waiting part. If you have no choice on that part, sobeit - continue as you plan - it's a good plan.

As to your personal relationship - good for you. If you're happy, that's what matters.

I love that you've been telling your children you'd be a gypsy for years. Sounds like it's time to make what you've been telling them come true. Good luck.

[WickedLady]

If you don't do it this year you will be a year older next year. Follow your heart.

[retiredhappy]

I have a practical question/thought. Be sure the local laws allow you to "live" behind your business. Is there a way you can dump behind the business?

As for "stuff" I first put my stuff in storage and rented out my house. That was three years ago. Now I am trying to sell my house which I now feel like is a burden to me. The rentors haven't kept up the yard and the inside of the house is filthy. I have slowly gotten rid of a lot of my "stuff". At this point I don't even remember what is in there. I gave the photo albums to my daughter as her "inheritance" and keep all my trip photos on my computer and a flashdrive as backup.

As for your living arrangement - do whatever makes you happy. I think on this forum we have numerous types of "living arrangements" and no one ever judges. The only thing that might get this group upset is if you mistreat your pets.

I'm with Beth - life is short and unexpected things happen. I believe our senior years are the years we can finally get to live for ourselves rather than our families.

Go ahead and start your "keep" - "discard" lists. I love making lists and it will get you started.

[Echo]

Worried about someone living together?? OMG!! You won't get that from this little quarter. Not at all. My Parents lived "in sin" right up until the day before I turned 40. I was my Mom's matron of honor!!! I even gave the wedding speech. Part of it was "Rah Rah, Sis Boom Bah, Pa finally married Ma"!!

Are you waffling?? Sounds like it. The very best advice you will ever find, will be found in your heart. I think you already know what it is too. Even tho you might be waffling. Take that step and follow your heart and dream. The dream that you say you have had for many years.

I am out here because I found a magazine called Full Timing. My son was 4yrs old at the time but that's when my dream started. I always figured I would begin to live it when I retired from someplace. BUT!! While living alone in Maine, DD had moved to Seattle, asked me an off the wall question. "Mom, there's no one holding you down, why not go full timing now?" "Why wait?" ???? Why wait indeed. I started to make plans. I didn't bother to have any kind of sale, I really didn't have much in the way of furniture anyway. I gave almost all of it to friends and a lot of it I donated. I still have "stuff" left that I need to sort thru and get rid of. But let me tell you!!!! I do not miss one single tiny thing of any of that stuff I gave away. What a huge load off me and what a relief to be rid of the many little anchors!!! It was a tremendous relief to be able at that time to fit everything I owned into something the size of a pickup truck. Of course when DD decided to come back home with my urging and blessings the 'pile' of stuff grew. But we have whittled away at it.

Go for it Nancy. Be free of the stuff. Take your spirt and physical self and go be that gypsy you always talked about.

Don't do what my parents did. Keep putting it off until one of them found out that they would never be able to.

If you feel that you absolutely can't go right now? That the world would fall apart if you didn't start and open a business for 2 years. Then yeah go ahead and open the business. If this is necessary for financial reasons? If you feel honestly that in the long run after 2 years that you will come out on top of the money heap? Then do the business. But if that idea is shaky or if you are in the financial position that you don't really need to start and sell a business? Then "why wait". But do keep in mind that you will also be 2yrs older and that you can't guarantee anything beyond this very moment.

Even if for what ever reason you are only able to travel for 6 months?? You will know that you fulfilled a dream you've carried for so long. Stuff can always be replaced. Dreams can't!!!!! And sometimes? Dreams that are put off for to long never know life! Like a green plant they wither and die.

[rvgrammy1953]

Very well said, Echo....

[Colliemom]

Very well said indeed. I'm lurking on this thread too cause I like Nancy have been tossing this "dream" around for a while too. Trying to decide if I want to sell my house, downsize to a smaller one, cause I still think I want a "home base" here. Or should I hit the road for a bit to see if I like it. But then this place needs care while I am on the road etc., so decisions need to be made. But the more I read the answers to Nancy, the more the spark for me is getting brighter and I think I am getting near my decision. I'm not getting any younger either. 62 in a few months here. Am planning to work at the park again this summer as I am setting money aside to hit the road and next year looks to be all set. The work I do at the park is always available and if I decide I don't want to travel full time, I can always go back. There are always parks needing building maintenance folks.

As to "stuff". I have gotten rid of a lot of "stuff" over the years and I haven't even missed it. I feel so free just living simple. Just read the other day where stuff is stuff, it makes memories and reminds us of them, but It doesn't make the person. In other words, you are who you are, your own unique person. People don't like you cause of your "stuff", they like you for the person you are.
I have seen more people who moan and groan abuot having too much stuff around but never get around to doing anythng about it. A friend of mine divorced and found another really nice gentlemen and they have moved into together. She put her house up for sale but just wasn't up to going through all her "stuff" and getting it out of there. So they asked me if I would pack it all up and clean out the house for them and they paid me to do it. Came and picked up all the stuff and took it to his place. That was over 10 years ago and it's still all boxed in the basement. Never been touched. She doesn't even remember what's down there. I told her she should just take it all out to the dumpster and toss it. Can't miss what you haven't missed. They came within about 3 or 4 miles of having a wildfire come through last spring and had it, it would have been gone anyway.

There is a lot of good advice coming into this thread Nancy. And I hope you don't mind my lurking and reading it too. Thanks for posting this.

[Travelinana]

My heartfelt thanks to all who have given me much food for thought. Somehow I have this feeling that I must get out before I'm 70 or I won't ever do it. That's probably not good as I might be setting myself up for this becoming a reality. I know of many people in my little town who traveled until their 80's.
The economy hasn't affected home sales here as much as some areas. They say 'have the cheapest house in the neighborhood', if you want your best shot at selling when the time comes. I live near the lake in a much desired area and most likely my house is near the bottom so I do think I could sell it . Time to pick up the notebook. I think my storage room is already full I welcome all your thoughts. Thanks again.

[Rufflesgurl]

Nancy - WOW you sure have gotten lots and lots of helpful opinions, etc. I purchased my current house new 12 years ago and there's still stuff in boxes in the garage that have never gotten unpacked. Almost forgot what's in most of them and I'm not a pack rat (yet). LOL I don't think I would want to full time in my RV because I do like having a sticks & bricks and do like to call ONE place home but, who knows?? I love reading about other people's adventures.

Sure sounds like your mind is pretty much in line with what you really want. I say GO FOR IT. Good luck and most of all, ENJOY!! Oh, it's very special to have another person that you really care about and have so much in common with.

Linda