Very long - thoughtts please -

[cpatinjones]

Ali, I am so sorry for all those things you described that led to bad relationships in your family. I know that must be hard. I would say make the gesture to heal the differences. I would write ahead and not just show up at the door. Pray and let the Holy Spirit be your guide. If she rejects you, then you'll just have to keep praying for God to soften her heart; at least you will have tried.

I agree with liz's suggestion.

[Liz]

You have a good plan, Ali. I'm glad you talked to your therapist. Sounds like she was a big help.

[Barbzeee]

Ali, Just doing catch up... and I like some of the others agree with writing... from my own personal situation not being in touch
with some of my nieces...it's a very empty feeling...and now after 45 or better years I'm finally in contact with my sister's eldest..and I take it
slowly ..one day at a time and I don't bring up anything in the past...as I can't change the past only my future... I prayed along time that I would
get to talk with her and I just let things happen... I did send a Christmas card (after I got brave and bit the big one) and just let her know that I loved
her and missed her...

Now after all these years...My niece is a "Grandmother" I'm getting to meet her children and her grandchildren...I let her bring things up...when she's
ready...I thank God that I just trusted in Him to open a door when it was the right time...Now through my niece the other 5 Sisters will show up some day too...

I pray that you'll have that door open...Trust in God and writing that little note might be that little key..

God Bless
Zeee

[Getupngo]

Ali, that sounds like a terrific game plan. What strikes me about it is that it is respectful, and also provides a means for her to change her mind upon reflection if she immediately rejects your approach out of hand.

God bless you all. j

[Nasoosie]

And THAT, my friends, is why the therapists get paid the big bucks! (Not that we all aren't good, too, but......)

Sounds like a wonderful plan of action, Ali!

[jemek]

I think that plan is a great one. You are right your sister has to be ready to mend the fences.

I know with our family there was a huge fallout with my sister and our older brother. No one spoke to him for 10 years. The first couple years people did but he was bitter and angry over things in the past.

Then one day my nephew started wrestling and who does my sister see at the tournament my brother and his son. He had finally come around and relived that family relationships were more important then the bitterness he was hanging on to. The past was never discussed. Now everyone is back to having relationships, talking and
doing things.

I will pray for you guys that your sister is also ready to mend the fences.

[Getupngo]

I had a therapist who said something very wise. She said the most intense relationships we have are with the people we don't speak to. Requires a lot of energy to maintain the anger and distance.

Wishing the best for you and your sister.

[ali1257]

Hello everyone

Just wanted to send an update: I mailed the card to my sister this morning on my way to church. I wrote we were moving to Texas for 14+ months and on our way we would be spending a few days at our Aunt's in Middletown and from there to Fresno IF she wanted to get together that would be okay and if not, that would be okay too. I also included a little update on each of my boys and their families along with one of our business cards with all of our contact info.

I am feeling very okay if she does not call me or want to see me. Thank you all again for your encouragement and support. If I hear from her or just wave as we drive thru Sunnyvale/San Jose, CA I will let you know.

We are wrapping up some things here tomorrow and Tuesday and then plan to get on the road sometime Wednesday. We are planning to arrive in Hondo, TX on Sunday February 20th and start work on the 21st.

[Getupngo]

You are incredibly brave. Travel well.

[Liz]

So glad you are at peace about the outcome.

[AlmostThere]

Good for you with making the first move. Now the hard part. You wait. I'm so proud of you in wanting the healing between you two and starting the process. Janice is right. You are brave. Keep us updated and know we are hoping for the best outcome. Baby steps.....

[Echo]

Ali, altho I have no words of advice or wisdom to say to you. I am glad that you have sent the card and say that you will be at peace with the outcome.

Rest easy and yes be peaceful with whatever the outcome. Know that you have made that big, oh so very important first step in holding out your hand and opening the door.

Now it's up to your sister to open the door wider. You have done the right thing. And in doing this the best that you could do.

[Getupngo]

... Janice is right...

Gosh, I like the sound of that ...

[ali1257]

Just wanted to put out an update on the situation with my sister.

The date I had put to meet was last Sunday, Feb. 6th. I called my friend, Dee, who does our mail to see if anything had arrived from my sister. Nope, nothing. Also did not receive any phone call or email. All what I had expected. Nothing.

As we drove through the San Jose area we saw a yellow VW bug and both of us commented "wonder if that is my sister?" And then Ron said, "well I could bump into her with the motor home and find out." Nope, not a good thing to do.

So I wrote a post at my blog Alice's Restaurant ~ Dishin' Up Food for Thought called "Choices" You can read it at http://alirest.blogspot.com

I am okay and yes a little sad but I am okay. I did what i could and the ball was in her court and she chose not to bounce it back. Such is life as they say. Whoever "they" is.

[VickieP]

Ali, I'm sorry your sister chose not to respond to your outreached hand. That was her decision and I'm glad that you seem to be handling it pretty good and know that you made the effort.