Positive Thoughts/Prayers Appreciated Please

[rvgrammy1953]

Laura.....I can so relate to the feelings you are having....or maybe some of what you are feeling....and agree about the check up and maybe additional help, too....Yes, even though you are in sunny CA, the winter blahs can effect you....for as long as I can remember, Jan, Feb., and March have always been hard for me....it has let up since we've been living life on the road, but still it's there at times......so now is when I do my crafts, needle work, reading, etc. more....I now have a seasonal job here which changes the routine for me, and that helps.....and change in the climate helps, too....just a few things that work for me.....if stopping work right now is a no-go....like Tina said, look for something that is a change at work....and agree that taking personal time for a get away somewhere, may help to clear your head.....wish I could help more as I've known you for sometime now here and before.....but maybe I've given you some ideas I'm thinking of you and sending best wishes and good thoughts...Hang in there...

[ali1257]

Laura....first off {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} to you. Glad you saw your gyn and that things checked out okay. I agree with the others that have suggested that you take a couple/few days break. I don't know if your school has mental health days....here in Blaine it is a valid request to take a day or two as a mental health day(s). Or just call in sick a couple of days.

I don't know if you journal or not but sometimes if I can write down everything that is running through my head that helps tremendously. Also speaking to a doctor, counselor or therapist might be helpful too.

So glad you trusted us enough to share. Keep on doing that too...I know these gals care for each of us in a special way. And I will add you to my prayer list.

[cpatinjones]

Hi Laura,

The others have given you good suggestions and advice.

I know how your are feeling. I have 3 more years to retire and am so ready, but need those 3 years. Every day gets harder and harder. I constantly work on my attitude to change. It is work and other things that get me in the dump sometimes. Some days no problem, but it is those days, I just want to quit, pack up my stuff and runaway. I tell myself, one day at a time.

Hang it there, I am sure you will overcome those feelings.

[snowball]

((((Hugs)))) Laura....
Another thought or thoughts....been reading different things that indicate increased amount of Vit D is good for lots of things
Have you thought of getting a Sad light?
and have an idea of a run away weekend ...the Q gtg! we'd love it if you'd come spend some time with us
My thoughts and prayers are with you...
Sheila

[Nasoosie]

Laura, you described my feelings about wanting to run away so very well. Routine, mandates, especially in the field of teaching, schedules, meetings, inane policies, and on and on-----can put a person in a real downer. The only way I was able to maintain my sanity, and actually force myself to get up before daylight and face the work day was to hope that, maybe that very day, I might be needed by one of my students for some reason. Look into those trusting eyes, really listen to what they are thinking and saying, hear what they may not be saying, and realize that your years of experience at living has made you a worthy teacher in many more ways than the subject matter. Yes, I, too, felt so much better while at school in front of those souls I felt responsible for. Try playing some inspiring music, or perhaps a book on tape for your morning commute---you can lose yourself for a while in both. When you get home, hug Jed close, find something to do that will make you happy, and look forward to next summer when you will be free for an interim! It is difficult when talking with those who have retired, also, to think that they are free from the mundane and tedious schedules working people have.

Trust me, staying as long as you are able will allow you to live much more comfortably in the long run. Think of it like a laboring mother-----just a few mre pains, some good hard straining, and PRESTO! You have the rewards! The trick is to teach yourself to actually like the laboring. Sometiomes I was able to do that by finding tiny little satisfying things throughout my days----like seeing a hesitant student laugh, or smile, or "get" something they never thought they could "get."

Stay in touch, and never hesitate to cry and moan to us all, as so many of us have already traveled that road-----and, what's more----we survived!

Love from me and Molly

[Birdie]

Laura, the last few years are really hard to get thru. My BFF and I had made all kinds of plans for what we would do together when we retired. She retired the 1st of July and unfortunately died 28 days later.....the day after her 65th birthday. I was devasted for a very long time - still am, actually. Then when I had to have the pacemaker, 2 years before my retirement, it really hit me that I could die any day. So I told my boss to get ready that I was going to spend however much time that it took to get a "clean bill of health", yep meant the colonoscopy that I had avoided all those years, and then I was going to retire. Part of getting ready for retirement was planning what I would do, researching TT, ordering my Casita TT, taking delivery of it, signing up for this forum. I read copious travel magazines. Started making my plans about the places here in the USA that I had not seen and wanted to experience. Takes time to do that stuff and helps to formulate what is important to you. The job....aaahhh, a means to do what you want to do.

So take the time to figure out what you want to do when you retire. Just keep in mind that the W O R K, a four letter word, will make the means for your dream to happen. Attack every day with a vengance (teach me how to spell!) and know that after you make it through the day, it is one less for you to look at - that could make you just a little bit happy. Kind of like 'get thee behind me'. I had a calendar counter and everyday I logged on, it automatically calculated the number of days until my last day (there ended up being several of those). I also went out to the Company benefit website and calculated my retirement every month. That was fun, too. Always changed the date 5 or 6 times, just playing to see what if.......

Take time out for yourself. You are important, not only to yourself, but you are important to Jed. You are also important to your sistahs here as we value your opinions, ideas, and so love your sense of humor. So love yourself enough to plan what you are going to do in xxx days. Don't forget to mark one off every night. As everyone has said, we are here. We all have experiences and probably they aren't far off what you are going through - we just all handle it differently.

[mitch5252]

..

I sure wish I had the eloquence of so many of the women on this Forum.

Hope you're feeling better, Laura!

..

[Bethers]

I'm glad the physical proved good. And that you're taking advantage of those benefits you have available now. Yes, do so! Lots of other good suggestions here. My g/f and I were talking the last couple days about various things, including why we humans tend to focus on the negative, not the positive. Now, before everyone says, oh, no, not me, let me give an example, then think back in your own life. One of the motels I managed had a wonderful lady named Fran who was retired and came to work for me parttime. We all loved her, including all the guests. But one night I walked in and she told me I probably had to fire her. She had had a very troublesome guest and finally told him that while he could stay the night, he was not welcome back at the motel again. Without going into details, after I learned them all, I probably would have called the police and had him escorted out. Maybe not for his behaviour if it had been towards me, but I never put up with really bad behaviour towards any employees. A couple months later, we got a letter from a customer who was praising Fran. I had been there for the incident this guest wrote about and knew the details of it also. It made Fran happy. A couple months passed and we were having an employee meeting where I was discussing the dangers of letting negatives control us. I asked Fran the name of the guest who wrote about her. She didn't remember, but in thinking came up with a close name. I then asked her about the guest who caused trouble and not only did she remember his name, but could tell me what town he was from - PLUS you could see her blood pressure rising again (probably 6 months later) just thinking about him.

My point is that somehow we remember and internalize and let negative things influence us way more than we should. And those good things that give us a smile and should be internalized - we don't remember as well. I've tried to turn that around in my life - kind of like not letting the scenery become something I quit seeing while I drive - even when I would be driving the same route all the time.

In your case, maybe carrying with you the help you are doing for one child when you see the gleam of understanding, instead of internalizing the paperwork and nuts and bolts that are driving you nuts. Hard to do, I know - but like Soos said - a goal you can work towards, maybe. You are in such an admirable field - and not an easy one, and the politics, etc makes it harder all the time. But there is an end in sight, even if it does seem so far away.

I, too, hope you can get away for at least a few days. And like Sheila said - heading to the Q for that weekend get away, might just be something the doctor ordered.

[sharon]

Sorry to be late replying Laura, but yeah, what the other girls said. We're all here for you and if there's anything I can do to help, all you have to do is call me. If you don't still have my number, let me know and I'll pm you. Take care, GF, hope things start looking up for you. Hugs!

[flick4411]

Laura

I tried to Skype ya, but I suspect you're probably not home yet on the Left Coast. I know you said you already went to the docs, and that all seems ok. But our menopause crap is something really unknown to nearly all docs. We women are soooo complicated. Yep, we can take the little pills (or stick on a patch which is what I do), but that doesn't really help the consequences of our hormones going haywire and making our brains work oddly. Do consider going on (as Vickie called em) "happy pills." I'm on Lexapro and my life is totally different as a result. While i think I inherited my depression/generalized anxiety disorder, I know that I couldn't seem to get back to my normal emotional place on my own. The Lexapro simply allows me to feel again...all the ups and downs, and not just the downs! Your joy in teaching is still there inside you...you just need to find it. Sit with Jed and tell him (out loud) how you are feeling...he will not judge you, and you'll feel better for having said it out loud. Really, this will help a bit. I am sorry that you are feeling soooooooooooooo darned blue. But it's a real feeling, and part of the fix is doing what you did and admitting to how you feel. We are all here to help and send up prayers and warm thoughts. I truly understand what you are feeling...I am ready to start the next phase of my life too. When you see the light at the tunnel,nd when you've finally determined it's not an oncoming train, then it's hard not to head to the light. Focus on the fact that you bring the light to the students you teach...think of how many more kids you'll start on their future course before you retire. Then we'll meet you after the retirement at a place of your choosing...for a HUGE CELEBRATION!!! It's coming sooner than you feel right now...so focus day by day and don't spend too much emotional energy on thinking how far away 4 years is...think backward on how many years you've been doing this already...then I suspect 4 years won't see so long (at least i hope that's true).