Parent's worst nightmare ...

[Getupngo]

My roomie is returning from Michigan today after enduring a parent's worst nightmare. Her 47-year-old son committed suicide a week ago. He had made an attempt a few weeks earlier and was hospitalized. She went to Michigan to be with him for about a week. Two days after she returned home he killed himself -- in her home.

So things will be very sad at my house for some time to come. I had made a decision not to sell my house (for many reason$) just before she told me of the suicide attempt. Because he used a gun for the real deal, it triggered a huge emotional reaction in me, evidenced by massive sugar consumption.

So if you would send up a prayer for my roomie and her family it would be appreciated. These will be difficult waters for me, because I cannot be her primary support system -- for her sake as well as mine (because I am a recovering over-functioning rescuer). She needs to grieve alone, with family, with friends and with groups. I can be part of that mix, remind her to eat and help her with the inevitable scatter-brained confusion that is part of grief.

I hope she survives this.

[JanetA]

She will survive,, w/ God's help if she asks for it,, and yours,, which she has,, lucky her!

God bless you for being there for her! hang in there!

hugs!!

[Liz]

Prayers are being said...I can't imagine such a nightmare, but as Janet said, I know God can help in any situation. You will be an enormous support for her because of your own experience, so take care of yourself.

[sharon]

Janice, my advice, which is probably not worth a good cup of joe, is take care of you first and her second. You've come a long way but have a long way to go yet. Don't jepordize your own recovery. I've "known" you for a long time on the forums...cried with you, laughed with you....and just so proud of you in how far you've come and what you've accomplished. Don't know what else to say other than yes, prayers are being said..for both of you, but mainly for you, because you're the one I "know" and you're part of my family. Great big huge hug for you!

[retiredhappy]

Let me add my prayers for your friend and you. Please take care of yourself first, then your friend. As someone else said, you've come a long way.

[Bethers]

Ditto everything Sharon just said.

And big hugs to you, my friend.

[Getupngo]

I am so touched by what you have said, and of your sweet acknowledgment of my own very slow, uneven recovery. I will take care of me first.

I may just take off for St. George in a couple of weeks for an extended stay to settle into my second home (or is it my "third" home -- after my six-wheeled casita?). I've just made two and three-day frantic trips moving "stuff." Now I want to settle in, paint (rooms) a bit and get to know some folks.

[AlmostThere]

If getting to St George is what you need, then do it! Sounds like good advice to me.
I will certainly keep your friend and her family lifted to the Lord, as well as you, Janice.

[Nasoosie]

Huge hugs for you, Janice. I am hoping you take little Kiwi and you and move into your St. George place and soothe your newly aggravated wounds, once again. Painting and meeting new friends will be wonderful medicine for you. You made it through a very horrific time, and, with your roomie's close friends and support group, I am sure she can make it, too. Reassuring her that she is not crazy (grief can make people believe they are insane as one's behavior becomes so weird, although so very normal for enduring the trauma-----as you so well know, I am sure) will be an asset you can certainly offer her. Other than that, please don't open up any partially healed wounds of your own......the ones you have worked so damn hard to close up.

Take some pics of that St. George place as you fix it up, and set up a relaxing place to hold Kiwi at the end of your work day. Waliking will be a great opportunity to meet new friends!

I will be there with you, (you might hear me admonishing now and then, or mentally sending gentle reminders!) and I will send strength to your roomie as she learns how to adapt to this trauma.

Love from me and Molly

[cpatinjones]

This is very sad news. I will be praying for her and her family.

[Getupngo]

Soos ... you crack me up. I can just see your finger wagging at me. And thanks. ;~)

[snowball]

Janace
first let me say it's good to see you and feel for your roomy...What a hard time to go through..and it sounds like she has a support group there so I'm thinking a trip to St. George would be good hot but good! Prayers to all of you
sheila
oh will be back in UT some time in Oct...hopefully we can catch up then

[BirdbyBird]

You and your roommate will be in my thoughts......sending ((((((hugs))))))) and may you find the strength you need for what ever comes before you......

[VickieP]

I agree with what everyone else said about taking care of yourself (I never listen to my own advice). Prayers being said for both of you.

[Pooker]

It's so sad! My best friend faced the same sorrow with her son. It's hard to be the friend on the sidelines, but everyone is right - you have to take care of yourself (and you are doing that). It will be fun to do the fixing up and meeting folks. Prayers for your roomie.

Pooker