The Big "C"

[BarbaraRose]

"C" for Commitment, not Cancer

Friday, I have to give my 60 day notice for my apartment, if I am going to commit to moving to California at the end of September as planned! That is very scary for me It is a huge change in my life, and without knowing if I will have a job to go to and/or a place to live by then, is even scarier! I feel like I am jumping off a cliff with a questionable parachute. It is going to be a leap of faith, for sure! (Linda, I need your support you promised me!!! )

Part of me worries about all the "what if's...", but then when I am at work and my manager is glaring at me for some unknown reason, I get inspired once again to go! I hear everyone talking about how fast the summer is going and how soon winter will be here again, then I get a dose of inspiration to get out of here!

I need some words of encouragement in order to go ahead and write my notice to vacate on September 30th!...

[JanetA]

Tell me again why california? just wondered. And DON'T hesitate. She who hesitates has lost! Go for your dream, and trust in God to get you there!

Let us know!

[mitch5252]

..

So you want encouragement...I'd encourage you to take more time to plan.
Here are some things I'd be thinking about, if yours was MY situation (YMMV):

No job
No housing
No savings
No family/friends
"Iffy" car
Lousy economy
Even lousier job market
Almost 50 years old
Living in a tent with a cat

Sorry if you wanted to hear GO FOR IT - IT'LL ALL BE FINE - YEAH RAH...
OH BOY, I'll just pull that security deposit and first month's rent out of my ass...
But don't forget - I'm anal!

..

[snowball]

take a piece of paper and right out the columns
why go and why stay

if the go out weighs the stay then do a list of what you
have to do to reach that goal and make it a detail list
if you look at it and see that it is over whelming to get it done
by the end of Sept then go for Oct after that you may have to wait
another winter...
I think if the desire is there go for it but do it responsibly
Sheila

[Bethers]

This is your dream, right? If so, then go for it. Yep, there are negatives - there are to doing anything - but it's doable. You have a profession that is needed everywhere so I don't see you having a probloem getting a job - although that's not always true.

Many years ago I quit a job and moved - actually to Minneapolis. I had no job. Worked for a temp agency until I got something better. That's always available to you, also - especially in larger cities. And if you're willing to try different things.

Then 6 years ago I up and quit my job, bought my little rv to go out for a year on the road - and I'm still doing it. I got the type of responses like Mitch just gave you. I ignored them and am glad I did. That said - only YOU have to live with your decision. If you think you can't - listen to Mitch. If you think you can - no matter what happens - then follow your dreams and go for it.

[Nasoosie]

Sorry, no help or advice here from me! As you all know, I teetered on the brink of the retirement abyss for many years before making my final leap! I am not yet sure if my parachute will sustain me, or if I am about to crash into the canyon! As Beth, says, go with your instincts and be prepared to live in that tent and eat Ramen Noodles in the myriads of ways you can prepare them! I tend to be anal like Mitch, and am not so sure it is the way to be. Time will tell for us all, I guess. But I do think it's a good idea to at least make a two-column list of 'goods' and 'bads' so you can better weigh the scales. A good dose of daring and braveness/courage is what will get you out of that plane and into the air for the experience of soaring with your chute on! (P.S.----I tried parachuting once years ago, before it became a really popular thing to do. Did I accomplish it? I was the one who, with chute on and feet on the outside ledge of the open-doored Piper Cub plane, hands gripping the wing strut in a death grip, just let looose with my feet when the jumpmaster shouted 3---2----1---JUMP, but hands stayed fixed to that wing strut like a vice! I was the student who had to land while still standing on the outside of the plane!)

And that experience pretty much sums up my dose of courage and derring-do! I would have been successful if I had been able to jump with my chute already open over my head, giving me the insurance I need to be able to progress through the skies, or through life. Sigh! Not too many people get to test themselves in such a graphic way!

[Marslet]

Barbie,
The decision is yours and yours alone. But (and there is always one of those), I feel that the fact that you are stilll having your serious doubts at this late date is really your answer in disguise.
Could your problem be taken care of with something as simple as changing a job location and leaving the glaring supervisor behind?? I agree, your skills are in demand everywhere. You could probably get a job in Nome, Alaska in the dead of winter. Spend the next year planning and saving some money, then if you still want to go next year, you are young enough to do it. Take it from someone who knows, those deposites (which equal first months rent) and first months rent, damage deposit, etc. take a chunk of money.
As I understand it, California's economy is in the pits. If I amy be so nosy, why California? Do you have family there?
Sorry you are having such a problem, but would hate for you to have a bigger problem at the end of it all. You could come down to Florida, they always need hairdressers, weather is nice in winter etc.

[Redetotry]

Can you get a job lined up at a GC shop in CA before you leave?
I don't know what your savings situation is but, sounds like your car isn't that reliable and unless you have a job of some type lined up or enough money saved to tide you over the first few months then maybe this isn't the ideal time. I too wondered if you have friends/family in the area and if Linda is still going since her job has been put on hold due to the flood.
I know sometimes in spite of the facts one just needs to step out believing that it is the right thing. Isn't there a book all about that, expect and act like it has already happened and it will materialize. I will be thinking about you and sending positive energy.
(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

[BirdbyBird]

MAke the lists and listen to heart heart as well as the rational brain and reasoning part. At least with a list it gives you a chance to think of a lot of ways the move could go "wrong" and give you a chance to think of problem solving solutions ahead of times. There are opportunities that we need to plan for and wait for and others when we need to just jump. But you have to decide because the credit and/or misgivings will all be yours. If you hit rocks after the jump...you may well survive the adventure but the bruises will all be on you.....

[retiredhappy]

Barbie, I'm sort of on the fence. In the early 60's I moved to California with a 2 year old and a dog with no job. I was unhappy after a divorce but soon found that moving to another state didn't solve the underlying unhappiness. I did have my secretarial skills but by the time I found a job and got my first paycheck I had 5 cents in my pocket. But I was in my 20's and the job market was really good. When I retired many, many years later I had to move out of California. They have high state income taxes on top of the federal taxes and I simply couldn't afford to stay there if I wanted to retire. The constant influx of people into California because of the weather makes the job situation worse. Do you have any savings to tide you over for a few months? Even staying in a tent at a CG will cost you money. It does get cold in Calif in the winter and does rain - being in a wet tent with your ferrets won't be fun. Have you contacted any of the chain salons to see what the job situation is out there? I would get a telephone book and make a few calls. There are so many beauty schools graduating lots of people every month out there. Granted not all of them actually go into the business but you might find the competition tough. Maybe give some thought to changing jobs where you are; move into a cheaper apartment (studio?) and saving your money for a year. You would feel so much secure if you had a little in savings when you make such a move. On the other hand, since it is just you and your ferrets you can do pretty much whatever you want.

[Pooker]

Twenty-four years ago, my DH and I put all our possessions in storage, bought a 17th hand very old Winnebago, rented a tow dolly for his car, packed up the cat and took off from New England to California on Valentine's Day! We followed two tracks in the snow through PA and stopped 3 or 4 times for repairs to the poor old Winnie. But we felt like two little kids running away from home! We were happy for the first time in months. He had lost his job at the age of 51 and we figured if we had to start over it was NOT going to be in the snow!

We had no jobs to go to, a little money to tide us over, but mostly we had enthusiasm. We were willing to work hard, live in the Winnie (which we did for a few weeks) and find a new life. I did work for a temp. agency for awhile. Was it hard for an over 50 guy to find work? You betcha! We were willing to settle for less money - turned out to be half as much, but it had been our dream since we got married to someday live in California. We figured turning lemons into lemonade where the lemons grow was a good thing. Now that my DH is gone, I am so pleased that we took that leap of faith and lived our dream.

I'm not recommending that what was good for me will be good for you, but making lists of pros and cons is a good place to start. When you find yourself trying to pad one side or the other, you'll know what your subconscious is telling you.

Good Luck!


Pooker

[BarbaraRose]

Ok, I will answer some of your questions and give some more info. ..
I do know several people out in California, including a nephew in LA. I used to live in Santa Barbara and totally fell in love with California and have always wanted to go back someday (love the ocean!). I have been thinking about this seriously for the past 2 years ,and doing a lot of planning, making lists, and soul searching for the past 6 months. I have thought of other "easier" places to move to, but my heart wasn't into any of them. When I moved out there in '85, I packed a suitcase and stayed with a friend. I had a job the first day I got there and bought a car and rented a room in a house two weeks later. I got homesick eventually and moved back (I was 24). When I was in my late 30's, I decided to move to Denver (fell in love with Colorado while driving back from California), sold my condo, packed up a U-Haul, my three ferrets, and headed out there without a job but with a studio apartment. I eventually got a good job and a bigger apartment and loved it out there. However, my mom started having serious health problems so I moved back here to help her and spend quality time with her until she passed away three years ago.
I am not close to my family members other than my dad. He is healthy at 84 and my brothers are much more willing to help him when he needs it,than they were with my mom. He also loves California and is always trying to get me to fly out there with him for a vacation (which we have done many times). He would love to have an excuse to go out there (to visit me, if I am not living in a tent, of course!).
I won't be taking the ferrets since they are illegal to own out there. My ferret-sitter has offered to take them if/when I go and I know they would be in wonderful hands with her, and they would have several other ferrets to play with. Not sure about my cat yet.
My car is very dependable. The only problems I have had with it are just normal routine things (like the battery, etc.). I am not worried about that.
The reason I got back into Great Clips is to have a much better chance at getting a job at one in CA. They will always hire a GC's employee over anyone else, first. I am also open to temp jobs, etc. I plan to rent a room in someones home or condo. With the economy the way it is, there are many people out there who are opening their homes up to renters now. I have been looking on Roommates.com and the rents are around $400 to $500 per month for a private bedroom/bathroom furnished. I could afford that on minimum wage even. I won't have any expenses other than cell phone, major medical health insurance, and normal living expenses. I plan to have enough money to get there ($800) and pay first months rent and damage deposit ($1000 +/-) and some extra to live on for a month or so and emergencies.
So, I have done my homework. It would be better, of course, if I had a little more financial cushion, but I really want to do this now. Eventually, I will get my share of my dad's house someday, and then will be able to be more comfortable. But until that time, I want to be happy and live my dream. I have been to too many funerals in the past year or so for women my age or younger who's lives were cut short. I don't want to wait.
My intuition says "do it!", my logical mind says "...but what if...?" so that is what I am dealing with right now. I have done it before and did all right. I just worry about the unknown. I guess that is normal and no one really knows what the future will bring. I, like Soos, want a guarantee beforehand, but there is no such thing, and sometimes it is just a leap of faith (shakey as it may be).
Other reasons I want to go out there, besides leaving winter behind, is there are much more opportunities out there to pursue my desire to be an esthetician at a spa/resort. Not much call for that here. Also to pursue my Reiki which is a lot more accepted out there than here. People here are too traditional and closed-minded about new things here.
OK, Maybe I just answered my own question...

PS> Mitch, what the heck does being 50 have anything to do with it????

[retiredhappy]

Sounds to me like you do have your ducks in a row so I say, if its your dream - GO FOR IT.

[BarbaraRose]

OK! I just called one of the GC's in Palm Springs and spoke with the manager there. She said that October is the start of their busy season and they definately will be hiring more stylists then. She also said that the owner owns all three salons in the Coachella Valley and they will be looking for stylists for all three locations then, so she said to send in my resume right away and she will let the owner know to look for it. Yay! I am on it now!

[Bethers]

There you go Barbie. If you could have that job lined up - all the rest would be so much easier. It's not knowing about income that is hard.

Good luck to you - and remember, people here care about you or they wouldn't be giving you the negatives, also.

As to why 50 makes a difference - in many fields, it's much harder to get a job as you age. Again, you are very lucky in that the field you are in is needed everywhere - and not discriminatory (as far as I can see) to age.