Need tips on getting DH to....

[jemek]

Tow the trailer. We have owned it since March of 2007...I will say we have towed it about 8,000 or so miles and Dh towed it a whopping 10 miles.

He was way stressed over it...so after 10 miles he pulled over and said forget it. This was on freeway at 9pm at night, so there was little traffic.

I grew up on a farm and learned to tow a trailer at a young age.

Honestly sometimes it is not a huge deal and doesn't matter, but there are times where I have to change stuff so I can get it where it needs to go.

Now DS has 3 day baseball tournament this weekend in a community about an hour away. The first game is Friday at 6pm. So ideally it would be great to have the trailer there by 3:30-4pm. We are the biggest trailer coming in so I want a spot first. As the spots are first come first serve and if you get by a light pole/or the backside of the concession stand you will have power to hook into. Otherwise DH is going to have to go home each night, as we do not yet have an inverter for his bi-pap machine. The tournament is at the new fields and the RV camping is at the old fields.

DH is off on Friday's. I have homeschool co-op classes with the kids until 1:30 pm (this is the last week, so several of the classes have "fun" things planned).
Then Kodie has Therapeutic riding from 3-4.

I can not even get him to try and tow it at all...not even on rural 25 mph roads. I think if he would do it...he would realize that it is not a big as deal.

The other thing..is DD who will be learning to drive next spring, has already said she wants to learn how to tow the trailer. I laugh to think that my 16 year old DD may learn how to tow it before her 47 year old father does. DD figures she is planning on being a vet, so she needs to learn. Granted the first few things we teach her it will be in the off season at the resort we have a membership at...Take her to the back corner loop and let her practice there.

Any tips you guys can offer...hints to get him to try it.
I was thinking maybe have him do the parking and backing up stuff...first.

Kris

[Bethers]

Kris, My only suggestion for you is to tell him you need him to learn to do it in case anything should ever happen when you 2 are away and you can't drive. He won't want to be in the position of not being able to at that time. Unfortunately, beyond that, if he still says no, I'm not sure there's anything you can do. We all have our limits, sounds like towing is one of his.

Good luck.

[Liz]

2 for 1 lessons with your DD?

[Redetotry]

I'd teach your daughter and forget him driving, everyone will probably be happier. Most men (and women) only change if they want to!

[WickedLady]

Trade it in for a motorhome?

[JanetA]

Excellent idea,, why didn't I think of that! ! ! ! !

[deborah12060]

I vote also for your getting a motor home. That being said, I see no possibility of DH learning to tow. A man changing......I don't think so. Exactly why I never got married but then, I won't get started on that. I'm a little unclear
about something, though. Just why is it you are wanting or needing him to learn to tow? Like,what's the issue with your doing it for yourself? True,the back up plan should something happen to you is very practical. But, if push came to shove and something did happen to you, I bet he would rise to the occasion and, perhaps even look heroic.

Isn't that wonderful that DD is going to be a vet and that she wants to learn to drive the trailer. Mom models, she's empowered. Love it.

DD

[rvgrammy1953]

Okay, my 2 cents..... I am one of those folks who hasn't towed the rig far yet....am working on it...having worked myself up to driving/towing in the campgrounds....that said, I have a depth perception issue, so have that to deal with when I drive anyhow.....I have mastered the backing up part of hooking up our 5er...am working on the backing into the site when needed....and of course, the towing part.....so I would advise "baby steps" for your DH, such as I'm doing....I also grew up on a farm and do know how to drive a tractor, but my towing a hay wagon was so bad, my Dad wouldn't let me after backing into the wall of the barn....so mastering that "trauma" and towing are my goals....it may take awhile.... Have him help with the driver's training for you DD, then offer them both "practice" time with the camper.....Ernie's patient, but also states that my being able to tow, if needed in an emergency....hence, my effort, even if it takes me awhile....

Just my thoughts....

[OregonMs]

It's a blessing. My husband won't drive my rig either. Praise the Lord!! Get that inner farm girl in motion and go have fun!!

[Pooker]

Did I read this right? You want him to learn to drive and back the trailer in by this weekend? Probably ain't gonna happen! It takes a lot more time to let go of those fears and sounds like he'd have to do it alone because you are tied up? Sorry, but it's too much to expect.

As DD said, since you don't seem to mind doing the driving and parking, it might be better all around to just do it yourself. I understand your plight for this weekend, but I'm thinking you'll just have to deal the best you can and hope you find a spot near the power pole.

As for the need to know how to do it in case of emergency thing - I am one of those who wouldn't learn to drive our large motorhome. I always figured that if a true emergency existed and something happens to the driver, you probably wouldn't be in the frame of mind to be driving a rig anyway. If I absolutely had to drive it, I would try. However, there are enough friendly people in this world who would step in and help. Both Good Sam and FMCA have folks who volunteer to be substitute drivers in case of emergencies; we usually know someone in our circle of friends, family or neighbors who would be willing to come help; and I'm sure many of the people right here on this forum would step up! Even your insurance company or your emergency road service might be able to help. Some people have a real fear of driving a large vehicle - others don't have that fear so they don't understand. Same thing as liking or hating snakes!

Pooker

[sharon]

Well, Kristy, I can see we haven't been much help for you. What I can say is hopefully, he's the kind of guy that you can sit down and tell him how important this is to you and he will listen and try. I know that when my DH was alive he tried to teach me to drive the big DP we had, and I did try, but I just knew that the rv was wider than the lane...and those mirrors sticking out! Oh my! After he passed, it was either sell it or make a planter out of it. Neither was an option. He loved that rv and it would have taken way to much dirt to make a planter. Besides, I was used to traveling and sure didn't want to give that up. In hind sight, I now realize how much easier it would have been on him to learn to drive it, especially when he was so sick and still insisted on going. It boils down to is he willing to learn, and if not, there's really not to much you can do about it. Of course now that I learned to drive it, it's no big deal, and actually prefer to drive the rig than my car. Altho, I did eventually trade it in and get a smaller rig, no need for a 38ft for 1 person and a cat. Still a pusher, but shorter. Should have kept the big one, tho. Another "hind sight". Hope he helps you out, he seems like a great guy from what you've written.

[jemek]

Thanks gals...
I do know it is something he WILL not try. I tried talking to him about it last night. He is like..what you want me to DIE!. He literally thinks if he even attempts to tow it he will die. (keep in mind he towed small boats, with the CG for years).

So I am not even going to try. Until he is ready to start working through that issue.

NO..I was not expecting that he jump on the wagon and take off trying it this weekend. That was just an example I was sharing on WHY? it would sometimes be easier for me, if he would learn how to tow it. Even for short distance.


I guess I figured when we bought in 2007, by now he would have at least tried it a few times.I know he hated towing the tent trailer and I will even admit that thing was not easy to tow, they bounce a lot and are a very difficult to back up. I was kinda concerned when we went so much bigger, but what I soon realized is it is much easier to manage then the tent trailer was.

I might just stick with the plan to get DD trained. The other reality...is I even trained DD to be my guide...IMO she does a better job then DH, but part of that is I taught her..so she does it the way I like it. When I have to guide me. I simply get out and say I this rear corner of the trailer right here. Then she gets me there. She is great a judging the distance and how far to swing this way and that. With DH..he is not as good as judging that direction.

In case of Emergency...well we have that covered. Ron (Ali Dh) is his rescuer.

[sharon]

Yeah, sometimes you just have to go with the flow and manage as well as you can. Is it a PITA? Absolutely! Will you manage one way or the other? Absolutely! Do what you can and accept it. If that's the only problem you have with him, count yourself a very lucky woman! LOL!

[deborah12060]

Hi Sharon,

this is a bit off topic but I am wondering, if you'll forgive my side step, why, in hind site, should you have kept the longer rig? Better engine or shape or what. I"m just curious.
Thanks,

DD

[ali1257]

Kristy

I so understand Norm's reluctance as you well know. It took me being in a situation that I saw as a waste of time and where if I knew how to drive the motor home I would have saved time and gas. That is what made me decide to learn how to drive the motor home.

I hope that Norm will one day decide to learn how to tow the rig. Glad to hear that you know who wants to learn.

Yes, Ron is definitely there for you if you ever need him. Don't forget that.

On another note. We move from Portland to Marysville on the 14th of June. Don't know what you are doing that week but maybe we can get together. Also, I plan on driving once we cross back into Washington and we switch drivers at the first rest area on I5.

Talk to you soon. Ali