Holiday depression?

[retiredhappy]

Does anyone out there besides me get depressed during the holiday season? Sometimes I wish I could crawl in a hole and pull a cover over my head until the "happy happy holiday season" is over. My daughter and granddaughter could care less about xmas, holiday decorating, etc and I so much miss when my mom was alive and enjoyed the season so much. She baked for days and days and decorated the whole house. I remember coming home one day from work and she had decorated the whole house, even putting up bright red curtains. Altho I wasn't much of a red fan it looked so cheerful and a little bit like a bordello. She made tree decorations with old jewelry and sequins. Instead of having a phony family holiday maybe I should volunteer at a shelter or something - anything to make me feel better during this awful season. OK thats enough boohooing.

[oregontocal]

I have gotten depressed during the holidays for the past several years. Kids far away, etc. Last year I finally realized Christmas was never going to be "the way it used to be" and decided that just because "the powers that be," whoever they might be - probably merchants -try to convince me to buy, buy, buy and celebrate, celebrate, celebrate, I just don't feel like it any more. I've been there, done that, for many years, and it's time to make my own holidays the way I feel they should be for me, right now. This year it will be spending Christmas in Baja California, learning about and experiencing new traditions such as the posada, and eating different foods. It will be fun to celebrate the holidays with Beth and Jean, most likely drinking Margaritas on a beach somewhere. Yep, I've done Christmas with snow in Oregon and it was fine. But, as a native Southern Californian, Christmas with sun feels perfect.

I do miss baking and decorating, but it's time to change, to not expect so much of myself. That part of my life is over and it's time to find new traditions.Perhaps those traditions will only last for one or two years before it's time to get new ones. However, I'm done being depressed. There's too much good stuff out there.

Karen, perhaps volunteering somewhere will be a great way for you to experience Christmas in a new and different way. Perhaps not. But, just because we think we're "supposed" to be happy and cheerful because it's Christmas, doesn't mean it's required.

[Liz]

"Behold I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." (Luke 2:10-11)

This is the source and reason I can feel joy at Christmas. I too would get depressed if I dwelled on the greed and commercialism this holiday has become to many. Or if I dwelled on remembering this is the time of year I lost my husband. Instead I go to church and celebrate the birth of Christ who gives me my joy. I went to the mall and chose two names of elderly women from the "giving tree" and shopped for them.

I think it's a good idea to volunteer and get involved in helping those less fortunate. Doing that will bring things into perspective and help you overcome your holiday blues.

Or, just keep your eye on the FL GTG in January...that'll surely make you smile!

I'll be praying your blues pass quickly. You're not alone.

[mitch5252]

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And here I was thinking I'm the only Scrooge in the world!
Nice to meet ya!



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[oregontocal]

[Bethers]

I always hated the rush of Christmas and the fighting over where to go - or how many places to be. I don't do any of that anymore. For several years Christmas Day was the busiest day in my business, and my partner and I both worked 12 hours, then went out to dinner. The first year it took forever to find a place open - then the local Friday's started opening Christmas night and the next several years, that's where we had dinner. Worked hard, had a relaxing dinner - and it was fine. There's a story to this ... one of our employees was a wonderful Filipino lady. She told me how honored she was on Christmas Eve - while all her family went to relatives - she was the lucky one. She got to sit home alone. I asked why she felt honored and lucky by this. She told me - never on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day is their house left empty - because if anyone should knock and need a place to stay - someone had to be there to greet them. Now, there's a family that understands what Christmas is supposed to be about - not the presents and the hubbub and the families getting together, but the joy of being able to MAYBE help someone.

That said, I'm glad to no longer be part of all that - and now I truly can enjoy the day. I'm hoping to be in some wonderful small Mexican town on Christmas this year - and getting to see the colors and celebration through their eyes.

Please, if you feel depressed - do something to help someone else.

And Mitch - you are at it again

[avalen]

the only time I really get depressed is Thanksgiving, probably because I miss all the
traditions of Thanksgiving that I don't get to do anymore. But its always shortlived
and time moves on. Christmas is a holy day to me, and I always hated the buy buy buy
hype that the stores put out. I do enjoy seeing people enjoy their gifts, especially the
little gifts that were totally unexpected. I don't remember ever being depressed at
Christmas.

[AlmostThere]

Even celebrating Jesus's birthday in a church full of others can be lonely without a family member beside you. At least that's how I feel. I see families together and I just get more lonely. I came from a huge farm family and holidays were always wonderful. We didn't have much, but we made do. I made many decorations from construction paper, glue and glitter. When us kids got married an had kids of our own we rented the school gym in order for the 96 of us to have enough room. We played volleyball and basket ball and had a blast. Used the school's kitchen to cook in. Then I moved to Alaska in 1980 and all that came to a screeching halt. I've not felt the same about the holidays since. Now my kids are grown and have inlaws and friends to visit as well so time with me is limited, too. Oh, and it's not just a few that get depressed over the holidays. I use to merchandise for American Greetings and the month of Dec. is the month when we sold the most sympathy cards. Yep, more people die in Dec than any other month. June is weddings and Sept is birthdays (not hard to figure out why )!

[JanetA]

Dear Karen,

Some very good ideas and advice to you here from the girls! I agree w/ each and every one of them. Yes, you are right, you miss your sweet mom. Most kids today have no clue as to how to slow down and relish the real meaning of Christmas, anyway..........

I'd volunteer at a shelter or something, if you can find anything there in Kerrville. There MUSt be something there you can find to do that will take your mind off the negatives. Go to HEB and ask around. Or the hospital...they might have a suggestion for ya.

Thank you all for reminding me how fortunate and blessed I am to still have my family getting together for Christmas and a loving daughter who is my "Christmas girl" and decorates the house from basement to attic! I use to think she went too overboard,, but now I see that she is merely showing her heart! My parents and I shall bathe in her warmth and enthusiasm as long as we are able.

A blessed season to all of you gals, and please KNOW that you are a HUGE blessing to me!! I value your new found friendship more than I can ever tell you!

love ya'll

Janet

[BirdbyBird]

I don't get depressed so much regarding the holidays as I just seem to go on auto pilot and am numb through most of it. I have some memories of the "feeling" that used to be there from long ago. The going to find the "just right" tree....the creeping down the stairs for pancakes before we got to open presents. Most of my family traditions got slowly changed after my father remarried. I can't think of any special traditions that occurred when my two children were young. We were never a family that over did the gift giving part of Christmas, there was never all that much extra money. I remember a few Christmas productions that the kids were in at church they attended and they were in the "Christmas Carol" with the Community Theater group.....

Christmas I knew was usually found in the bright Celebrations....Now the Christmas that I find is all in little moments.....it has been over three years since I last put up a tree because no one in the house seemed to care. But I can still find bits of the spirit in moments that surround me from time to time.......the sounds of a carol that catches me by surprise, the look on one of Herschel's friend's face when they spot the dogs with their Christmas decorations on...... It is the music that does it for me the most.......the sounds for bells ...the sound of trumpet's fan fare.......the vision of candles...the smell of pines and of cinnamon. It is in the small moments that my heart stands still and knows it is in a presence of something greater than itself. The mad dash to the mall and the "buy more presents" part are far behind me. The spirit of Christmas doesn't have to be a big and flashy experience that it may have once been in past years but it can be something that can be very quiet and strong and find you all year long. It can be there in a circle around the campfire.......where ever people make/take time to care about one another and make room in their lives to celebrate in joy......

[Getupngo]

For some reason this year, I have no desire to decorate my house. In the past, Christmas
was my favorite time of year. I'm not depressed, just not interested. Maybe if I DO decorate
I'll get more in the mood. I have decorations ranging from over-the-top trees to
little fiber-optic trees. Maybe I'll pull that out. It takes about a half-hour. That and
some candles and nutcrackers. Yeah, I'll do that today ....

[mtngal]

Hey Karen, I hear you. For me it's about getting caught up in expectations. Not necessarily directly related to Christmas either.
It's sort of a double hit that I land here away from 'home' AND in time for the holiday season. Oh course I planned it this way!
No, it's not the same as being at 'home', but if I was at home I would be crazy to be with DD and DGD! Best for me just to let go of all the extraneous 'stuff' and enjoy each day as it comes. Thanks for being so honest in your post, it clearly hit a chord with many.

[Cedar518]

.....For me it's about getting caught up in expectations. .....

That's it,.... like that horrid commercial on tv that shows the beautiful couple in their beautiful home by the beautiful fireplace as he gives her a beautiful gift of .... diamond something or other,... as two beautiful children peek through the staircase railing. The perfect family, house and gifts,... pefect robes, carpets, furnishings. And then we look around our own little homes at the common furnishings.... and get depressed.

Now i look at those commercials as my comedy entertainment. Oh yes,.... and the ice bucket is always full and ready!

[oregontocal]

Now i look at those commercials as my comedy entertainment. Oh yes,.... and the ice bucket is always full and ready!

I'm thoroughly convinced that I haven't missed A THING by not watching TV for three years or so. Take that back - I have perhaps missed those expectations - but not a lot. I've become quite content going into a store, with all the decorations and blaring music, and realizing there is really nothing they're selling that I need or want. It took seven or so months of living in a house again to really understand that this little rig is home. And my home no longer has room for junk. Neither does my mind.

[mitch5252]

And my home no longer has room for junk. Neither does my mind.

What a great quote!

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