Oh my. Lazy Echo

[Echo]

I am being a lazy bum. Haven't went anywhere for the past 2 days so have not gotten dressed past wearing my sweats and I'm loving it!!! Got house, got coffee pot, got internet and company of my Kelly. What more could a lazy bum ask for? Hmmmm? Maybe the beach! But only if Sparkle is not picking the parking spot! hehehehe

I really missed this big time at the lodge. Would much rather sit home comfy on the laptop than needing to get dressed and out the door in the cold air to go find the internet!

Well I guess I could use a maid? Kelly is pretty darn good as a stand in but she is forever telling me to wait a minute and she gets grumbly sometimes too. And I really have to admit that she is worthless as my maid first thing in the morning as I get up and out of bed long before she does. She is back to staying up half the night on the laptop so she sleeps later than I do. Bummer!

Hope ya'll are having a super great day on this fine glorious Saturday!!!

[Sparkle]

Being of the Protestant Work Ethic....er....you COULD get jobs? It would help your son and family, you could put money away for an RV...just a suggestion.....

[avalen]

did you get your license renewed? hope you didn't forget
rest up and start thinking about a job girl, the DIL will have less to grumble about,
and perhaps David will be able to endure the wrath of the woman of the house.

[Carolinagal]

I'm so sorry, you've gotten there and now things are not well with your son's family. A point to ponder would be if you stay there and he does leave or she kicks him and you all out, what if in years to come when that baby is growing and he is no part of his life really and he looks back and says, " I wonder if Mom and Kelly had not come at the time they did if we could have made our marriage work?" Mom's don't like to see things happening with their kids, but if you take sides when there is a problem, they have a way of making up and leaving you in the cold. New mothers are emotional and sometimes things are not good for them, the change in their lives is hard to deal with, so this just mght blow over and all will be well with them. No one knows.

I only mention this as you are so close to it, that possibly you have not thought of this happening. I pray all will work out well for them, and that little one who deserves better.

How long a visit did you plan? Maybe it should be shorter, for everyone's sake and to better your chances of being grandma to Connor, who is absolutely adorable.

Please forgive me, if I have offended or hurt you, I did not mean to do that, only to help you maybe see something you hadn't thought of.

Carol

[Bethers]

One of the reasons I love having my rv - is I don't want to impose even on my best friends when I visit. It always is hard to have people come visit - as much as you love them, almost as soon as they arrive, you start picturing the day they leave. As much as I got along great with my inlaws - if my mil and sil had shown up unexpected to stay - I have a feeling my ex and I would have been divorced much eariler. Or maybe we would have worked it out - but I probably would have moved out within a couple days - since it would no longer feel like "my" house.

Like Carol, I don't want to step on toes - but think about how your being there might be making adverse effects. And, yes, if my mil and sil had asked me if they should leave, I would have said No - lying the entire time. Oh, and when my Mom was getting up in age and not as healthy, my ex and I discussed her living with us. Whole different thing when we make the decision, not have it made for us. And when my sis would come over and clean my house, drove me bonkers - told her to go clean her own house. She thought she was doing me a favor, but again, I felt like it was no longer "my" house. Now, if she was living with me long term, then maybe it would have been better, but we would have worked out the living arrangements, how each would pay, who would clean, etc - before we would have moved in.

You don't say how long you intend to stay - so maybe this is all a moot point - hope whatever you decide it works for all of you.

[JanetA]

I woulda had my butt outta there the first time I heard any negativity out of my DIL. There wouldn't be any question!

[Echo]

Ok. Hello!

We are not mooching off of the kids. I am not gonna go to work for 2 or 3 weeks to support the kids. We have brought our own groceries and are being careful not to spread out. What we did have out to dry is all put away. We have all of our stuff in the room we are sleeping in. Other than the groceries, blankets we are using and very few clothes we have unpacked nothing from the trailer. Only plans I have about the trailer is to unload it in the front yard to open up the big tarp to better cover everything and then immediately repack the whole mess. Except the tent I had given to me. I do need to set it up and figure out the pole system. I don't have all the poles that belong with the tent so have to configure new poles to fit and set the thing up. I had already planned on helping with the extra on the bills for utilities for us staying here. I sure the he77 didn't come back here to stay, live take up residency in TN again.

If we were staying here in this area for the whole winter we would most definitely be looking for jobs. Even go back to our old jobs possibly? YUCK! Think I would make more money and be less stressed if I were to stand on a street corner and not to mention that I wouldn't have to pay taxes on the money. If we were to stay here this winter it will totally screw up my medical coverage from AZ.

Jenny has asked me privately to not leave because she says that David hasn't been this happy in awhile, and that if we leave David will blame her. So now what? If we up and leave David is gonna be shook and upset. And hard telling what Jenny will think. Leave or go will probably get the blame anyway. Jenny as far as I know has been like this since June. HE77 they got married in June!!!!! David said she has threatening to leave/kick him out since July. He is trying to hold things together as he loves her and loves Conner. He falls apart just trying to talk about not being with Conner. I have always said he would make a great Father. When they had the big fight Tuesday night and she said she was gonna leave and said he didn't deserve Conner he broke down crying telling her that he loved him, was a good Dad and that she shouldn't say that to him.

I had only planned to stay until after Thanksgiving. David is begging us to stay until the first of the year. There is no way I am staying here until January. I have talked to David and Jenny both and urged them to sit and talk the problems out. I have told both of them that they aren't giving the marriage a good shot. That they BOTH need to work on it. That marriage is a partnership and that it's not always a 50-50 deal. So no I'm not trying to talk David into leaving. I did tell him that if she is bound and determined to go? That he can't force her to stay. But yes I did tell him that in front of her. Told him that he would have to let her go but to go see a lawyer. And I told her not to use Conner as a wedge or weapon that Conner deserved better than that. That to use a child was the dirtiest tactic there was and she wasn't worthy of it.

NO!!! I do not want the marriage to split. I want the kids to make a go of it. But David needs someone to talk to as he has NO ONE else here to talk to. You had just better bet that she is telling her Mom and friends everything but she has said before that David is not to discuss anything about their relationship with an outsider.

One of my biggest problems I've had to deal with before is the fact that I see both sides. So no matter how "I" might feel I will advocate both sides. If David is in the wrong I will be the first to jump his butt and chew it out. And do the same thing to Jenny. Maybe I should have became a 'mediator' or 'councilor'?

So for now no matter how I feel or what I want to do??? We will have to stay at least a while. Until at least Thanksgiving as I first told the kids so that no one gets the blame for us leaving.

I'm not insulted by any of the opinions but I do admit to being a little upset as I now really feel caught in the middle. To go and cause problems? Or stay and cause problems. I sure the he77 don't know or have a glimmer of an idea.

[Echo]

Ya know what??? I had really meant this post to be a tongue-in-cheek kind of post. Ya know kinda like "hey all I'm enjoying a mini vacation of being lazy and playing on the internet in my sweats deal".

[BirdbyBird]

Guess we are always learning aren't we......It is one of the things in life that has always struck me as very important......perspective can change so quickly.....no matter what we think we know.....we can never know all the information....Especially, us on the outside with only snips and pieces.......

My father once made a statement that has helped me through life. He stated in response to some statement my SM made that what ever I had decided to do in or with my life was alright with him because he knew that I would make the best choices I could and would have good reasons even if he didn't know what they were. ...Damn, isn't that a heavy load of responsibility.... but Echo, you are there also...you can only make the best decisions given all that you know at this moment in time......three weeks from now....5 years from now...it doesn't matter.... there will be no second guessing because you will have done the best you could at these moments in time. You have a talented heart and mind......trust them.....

I kind of think of Mitch's admission of a bad day......there are times when laughter can not cover all our sorrows.....

Take care..... one day at a time

[Echo]

Hey Tina.

There is always second guessing. No matter what there is always that, "What if" thing. Especially down the road from now. And that saying about "hindsight is 20-20"? No matter what I do at some point I will wonder and ponder if I should have done it differently. Cause for sure I never ever expected this when we made the spontaneous decision to come home. And for all the world I never meant to cause any problems by coming home to meet Conner.

But your right all a person can do is what they think, feel is for the best and go on from there. I've learned that lesson well over the years.

If I have made a mistake? Or if I make one now and screw things up I will have to live with that knowledge for the rest of my life. Not a pleasant thought.

[BirdbyBird]

If only they gave us Crystal Balls......then we would know.....life is often a leaf of faith.....remember to keep breathing....

[JanetA]

A 20 room mansion isn't large enough for 2 women,, specially if they are IN-LAWS!!!!!

don't blame yourself,, it's just a fact of LIFE! ! ! ! ! Don't let them manipulate you.

Use your OWN good judgement! ! ! !

Do what is best for you and your daughter, or whomever you talk about that is with you.. Kelly,, I believe?

J

[Echo]

If only they gave us Crystal Balls......then we would know.....life is often a leaf of faith.....remember to keep breathing....

Well Kelly has a pink rose quartz ball but not only is it in AZ but it's got a crack in it too!!!! Maybe that is why our point of views are 'cracked'??? And for sure kids don't come with individual instruction manuals!!! ~sigh~

[wickedxgrl]

Well Kelly has a pink rose quartz ball but not only is it in AZ but it's got a crack in it too!!!! Maybe that is why our point of views are 'cracked'??? And for sure kids don't come with individual instruction manuals!!! ~sigh~

There's a crack in it??? Where, when, how??? Are you sure? Now that's going to bug me till I can check. *Sigh*


Our first thought in coming back here was to see David and Jenny and baby Connor. Like mom said, we're keeping what we've brought in out of the way. Mom's done dishes and floors, I've folded laundry, cleaned the bathroom and dusted the living room (only half done, there are wires and such in there I don't want to touch without talking to David first). I want to help but I don't want to step on Jenny's toes. That's why I've gone through David before I've done anything.

Jenny and I actually sat and watched tv together this evening while she nursed Connor. It felt pretty relaxed as we chatted and such. Later I plan on doing out laundry for them and I'm going to finish dusting the living room. When we got here David said I could earn my keep by babysitting Connor. I don't think neither I nor Jenny would be comfortable with that. But I am happy to help in other ways.

Ok, that's my .05 worth.


-Kelly

[Paulette]

Echo, sounds like you are having a "testy" visit there, but I'd have done the same thing...jumped the road and high-tailed it to see my new grand baby. There is nothing sweeter in this world! I'm sure you aren't planning to "wear out your welcome" and sounds like ya'll are pitching in as best you can to try to help out the new mom and dad. Shucks, having a new baby in the house is STRESSFUL, I don't care what anyone says. I pray that the kids will love Conner enough to work things out. Sounds like they could probably use some counseling, but that is just mho. Newlyweds and a new baby...

So, relax and try to enjoy "your vacation"! It is nice having internet access without having to pack up and go somewhere else for it, isn't it?

And since none of us here are there with you, we all can't really know exactly what is going on between the kids or the stress of having unexpected company with a new baby in the house. But you and Kelly are there so you all know first hand. Some folks just don't have the same "me casa is su casa" attitude as other families do. I'd have loved for any of my family to drop in for a visit, announced or not. I may have been ready for them to leave sooner than later... but would have loved having them come and visit. I guess other folks just don't like sharing their lives and homes. That's what makes the world go round...our differences and our similarities.

Hang in there and enjoy as much of that new grand baby as you can. Before you know it they are growing up and getting ready for middle school!