Am I getting to be a drama queen?

[Paulette]

Aww Janice, don't ya just hate anniversary dates. I'm so sorry that it has come around once again...I'm sending you {{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}} and hope that the day will pass with quiet contemplation and then you'll be back to your old self. Hang in there lady.

[JanetA]

hang in there, girlfriend,, know that you are NOT alone! There are others hurting from the same or similar pain.

Take comfort that it will get softer with time.. the pain I mean.

hugs from another of your kind.

Janet

[Rufflesgurl]

Janice - You are not a drama queen just because you feel!! Glad your heart checked out good and strong. Please take care of you.

Linda

[snowball]

Janice so glad that you don't have a heart problem......and hope that you will manage to get through this anniversery hang in there
we are a Lava right now will be in SLC tomorrow sometime
sheila

[Getupngo]

Sheila, I LOVE Lava Hot Springs. Lava was always a center of gravity for Jim and me. As a matter of fact, we bought 6 1/2 acres there about two weeks before he died. In fact, on the day he died, we walked the property with a contractor, making arrangements for the first improvements for the cabin Jim had always wanted to build. He was so happy, like a little kid, running up and down. There is a sweet little creek along the bottom of the property -- flanked by willows -- where lots of wildlife comes down to drink. We had the dogs with us exploring the property off leash. I looked up and saw a cow moose at the creek with a calf 100 feet away. I poked Jim, pointed, and said in a (loud) stage-whisper, "I'll grab Bandit and you get Maddie ... ." and we fled before mama saw us or the dogs spotted them. It could have been ugly.

As we left, we came to a small bridge that crosses the Portneuf River. Jim parked the car and leaned over the stone bridge to do one of his favorite things ... spot fish. As he looked into the river, he didn't try to see the fish themselves because their natural coloring makes them hard to see. Rather, he looked for the shadow they cast.

It occurred to me later, that if we cannot see our heart's desire, we can look for the shadow it casts. Jim's shadow touched so many people. He always was helping others, loved loved loved his children and was the best dad and husband. He was brilliant and kind, and I never heard him utter a bad word about anyone he didn't grow up with. ( ) I miss him so much.

[Nasoosie]

Janice, what a beautiful tribute you wrote to your Jim, and what fantastic memories you have of that special spot you bought for your cabin.

May his shadow be forever with you.

Hugs from me and Molly

[AlmostThere]

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

[Sparkle]

Loved that Janice. I like to take photographs of shadows and from now on I will think of your Jim...see, he lives on!

[sharon]

Big hug to you today Janice. Those anniversary's just keep coming around and there's no way to get away from them. Sometimes life just sucks. Know what you're saying about your Jim, same feelings here and you have to wonder why is it that the good ones are taken from us and some of the people that shouldn't even be walking on this planet are still here. Sigh. I guess some day we'll find the answer to that one but it sure is hard. Angel wings are flying to you with love and peace.

Glad you're ok and yeah, stress will make your body do weird things. Even if we don't think we're stressing, our sub-concious is doing it's own thing. Take care my friend.

[Getupngo]

Thanks everyone for your good thoughts. Today was a good day. I went to lunch with Jim's brother Monty, and we went to the cemetery together. I put five yellow roses on Jim's head stone, gave one to Monty, and we told our favorite "Jim' stories.

I also posted on Facebook a poem that was given to me when Jim died, and I want to share it with you.

If I die, survive me with such sheer force
that you waken the furies of the pallid and the cold,
from south to south lift your indelible eyes,
from sun to sun dream through your singing mouth.
I don't want your laughter or your steps to waver.
I don't want my heritage of joy to die.
Don't call up my person. I am absent.
Live in my absence as if in a house.
Absence is a house so vast
that inside you will pass through its walls
and hang pictures on the air.
Absence is a house so transparent
That I, lifeless will see you, living,
and if you suffer, my love, I will die again.

--Pablo Neruda

I love the concept of living in someone's absence as if in a house.

Anyway, enough of death and destruction. ONWARD!

love to you all, janice