Tree Hugger

[sharon]

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of timberland near Grants Pass, OR. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got several splinters in her crotch.


In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"


He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I'm sorry, but they turned me down."

[VickieP]

And this joke from a woman in California!

[avalen]

[sharon]

The only tree I've hugged in recent years was at North Rim and Sparkle made me do it! I have actually beat the crap out of one of my cottonwoods with a plastic baseball bat. When I get really really angry that DH has died, I go out and beat on the tree. Been known to do a little yelling, too. The neighbors just ignore me now and I've warned the new ones that just moved in. I've depleted Toysrus' plastic bat supply. They probably wonder what in the world I do with them, but it's better than breaking up the house, to my way of thinking. Prolly cheaper, too!

[VickieP]

Sharon, when we get to the TN GTG you can beat Ronnie, I'd get in trouble, but you might be able to high-tail it back to CA, LOL!

[mitch5252]

The only tree I've hugged in recent years was at North Rim and Sparkle made me do it! I have actually beat the crap out of one of my cottonwoods with a plastic baseball bat. When I get really really angry that DH has died, I go out and beat on the tree. Been known to do a little yelling, too. The neighbors just ignore me now and I've warned the new ones that just moved in. I've depleted Toysrus' plastic bat supply. They probably wonder what in the world I do with them, but it's better than breaking up the house, to my way of thinking. Prolly cheaper, too!

Another Anger Diminisher - take a couple of eggs and throw them as hard as you can in the kitchen sink.

And another - while in the car, windows up, not really close to anyone and not sitting still - SCREAM as loud as you possibly can. I did that once and then just burst out laughing.

I forgot about these until just now!