The Missing Ones

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The Missing Ones

Postby Pooker » Fri Oct 06, 2023 7:25 am

Anita and Beth mentioned not hearing from many of us in awhile, so I thought we could use a post where those of us who have been absent could post updates. Even though many of us don't travel any longer, our lives have been intertwined over the years and it would be nice to just say "Hi".

I'm one of those who has been MIA. After running back and forth to the hospital ER 40 miles away every 3-4 days with my oldest son, they finally admitted him. He went downhill fast in the 12 days he was there and we lost him to cancer 3 weeks ago. He was my executor, my emergency contact, my go-to guy to "fix" my messes on my computer or phone and my rock. I was in shock at the price of a simple cremation! And dealing with changing my Trust, my insurances, and whatever other surprises come up is so daunting.

He wanted so badly to marry his fiancee and we tried to make that happen even if it was to be bedside, but the red tape was just too much. Now she has to go through all his things, including a fairly large, full storage unit. His daughter lives out of the country and is trying to arrange travel back here for a few days so we can spread his ashes. That, too, comes with many problems and obstacles. I'm scrambling to rearrange all my records. Hopefully, I will have more upbeat news to report in the future.


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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby OregonLuvr » Fri Oct 06, 2023 8:32 am

Oh Evie I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I am sure you are heartbroken. Nothing worse than our children passing before we do. That is not the way it is supposed to be. I know it is a pain to get everything changed especially when you thought you had all your ducks in a row. My heart aches for you and your family.

I dont normally post this early but your post made me incredibly sad for you.
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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby BarbaraRose » Fri Oct 06, 2023 10:39 am

Evie, I am so sorry to hear about your son! Between that heartbreak and the stress of dealing with all the other stuff, this must be so hard for you! It is too bad they couldn't get married before he passed. :cry:

(((hugs))) to you and your family!
Barbie, Romeow, and Sophie, missing Lola! (and lots of ferrets running around in my heart!)

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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby monik7 » Fri Oct 06, 2023 10:43 am

Evie, I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. There is nothing worse than losing your child. Having lost my son to senseless murder, I know too well your pain. Take things slowly and take care of yourself. It’s what he would want for you. You will be in my prayers.
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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby Redetotry » Fri Oct 06, 2023 10:49 am

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Evie and the additional stress of the legal problems. I agree that our lives through this forum have become entwined over the years and I also wonder and feel concern when we loose touch. Sending you lots of love and a huge hug.
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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby PeggyinCT » Fri Oct 06, 2023 12:42 pm

Greetings Everybody from Connecticut
Evie, I’m so sorry for you and you have my sincerest condolences. I too have a son that I love and depend on, so I can relate to your loss.
I’m flying to Denver tomorrow to meet up with my friend and we’ll start the long drive to Mexico for 6 months. She drives her RV and I drive her red pickup.
Carol, will you be driving the RV to Mexico? We need an update in the driving lessons.
Enjoy today, Peggy
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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby Bethers » Fri Oct 06, 2023 1:20 pm

Evie, I'm so very sorry. That's a terrible loss and my heart goes out to you.

At work, I'll be back later, most likely.
Beth
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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby Othersharon » Fri Oct 06, 2023 2:09 pm

:evil: Evie, so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you as you go through this huge change in your life.
Spent some time yesterday talking to the trainer for Buddy. I also took my friend with mead between the two of them they were brutal but honest. The trainer took Buddy and it was interesting to watch her with him. She basically ignored his wanting to have his own way until he finally settled down and took a nap! A couple of times he tried to get over to me but she held fast and didn’t let him get his way. I’ve never had such a hard time getting him in the car when it was time to leave! He seemed to be trying to assert his will on me and was being an absolute….well, you can fill in the blank,, So he’s signed up for a 2 week train and stay but can’t get in until January 3. But I did take away some hints on what I should be doing with him meanwhile. I doubt it’ll happen but if she has a cancellation I might be able to get him in sooner. I think the first thing she said was that his behavior was something they see often and she was perfectly calm when she said it! Where I was pulling my hair out!! So I’m disappointed with having to wait but also excited too. We all agreed that rehoming him wasn’t the best idea since I would just be passing his bad behavior on to someone else plus the fact that I really don’t want to do that. I took this dog on and love him, just not when he’s acting out! And much of that is me letting him get away with, letting him take my inch to the proverbial mile! After we got home I had a visit from a friend that I haven’t seen in months so didn’t get out in the yard to enjoy the nice day with warm temps and sunny skies but that’s okay. The chores will be there when the rain stops just have to wear warmer clothes to do the chores. And the leaves are really starting to fall now so the pile will get bigger! Son came by yesterday and they fixed the wiring on my little trailer and today came back with a hitch(the ball??) since they couldn’t find mine. So that load will get emptied at least! I still haven’t gotten a new hitch on my car. Just hasn’t been a financial priority! So that’s about all the news I have right now! Need to get the boy out for a walk despite the off and on rain! Plus decide if I want to make a sloppy joe sandwich for dinner since I made a batch the other day. It’s either that or I just go ahead and freeze what’s left. Which I’m inclined to do! It was good but I think I’ve had enough for now! Hope everyone is having a good day!
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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby chalet05 » Fri Oct 06, 2023 5:03 pm

Evie, I am so sorry for the loss of your son and the stress. Be sure to take care of yourself!

Another beautiful day, but only a ride to Safeway for vaccination because tourists were already in town yesterday. I had not thought to check if RSV was covered without Part D - at $300 plus, I won't be getting that one! They wouldn't just switch and give me flu shot so didn't accomplish anything - will get it soon. I'm not out and about that much so not too concerned. When I didn't sign up for Part D, it never dawned on me they would come up with all these expensive, non-covered vaccines!

Forgot to get the chicken out of the freezer so making soup will wait until tomorrow.
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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby OregonLuvr » Fri Oct 06, 2023 5:54 pm

Good afternoon. Not too much going on here. Cleaned out my closet and rearranged things today. Decided I have way too many sweatshirts ha ha My favorite mode of dress in the fall. I only parted with 3 of them. Went early to the bottle redemption place (before the tweakers and druggies woke up) I was the only one in there on a Friday LOL that tells ya something about this town. Ended up with $20.20 It was all summers worth so was time to take them in rather than store them. I didnt mind so much when redemption was a nickel but when it went up to a dime now I am taking them back instead of giving them away. Just have to feed them in one at a time unless you want to buy a green bag to drop off and they take a percentage. I dont. I have the time so I will return them one at a time.
I wanted to get more done outside but this morning but it was damp and very foggy, sun peeked out about 11 and then it was too hot geez. My back deck is about 60 feet long with an aluminum awning over it. Well it is always 8-10 degrees hotter under it when the sun is shining. And the project I am working on now is under it of course. So it was a short workday today for me.
Not sure what I will have for dinner but have lots of do ahead meals in the freezer. Might even make a Panini sandwich.
Anita I signed up for the cheapest Part D because they said when you finally did sign up you would be paying a penalty forever!!!! I only take one oral med so that seemed the most reasonable route to take at the time. All my meds are injections or infusions. I have one oral med that is $18.00 for 90 days so not bad.

Well trying hard to stay awake for some reason so I better get up and do something. I dont like to nap during the day as then I dont sleep as well thru the night and I hate when that happens.
Guess I will make a Hazelnut mocha to help me wake up.
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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby Bethers » Fri Oct 06, 2023 6:46 pm

Anita, I almost didn't take the drug plan but figured since I can change it yearly, I did and have changed it almost every year. It was under $5/mo this year and I think I'll be able to get a plan at zero to 50 cents a month for the coming year. I don't pay attn to the deductibles, etc because I've only used it once in all my years on Medicare so far. But I totally understand your decision.

What happened to fall? It down right feels like winter here today. I'm waiting until I leave to fill my propane so trying to avoid using my furnace. I hope my electric heater will do for the next week and a half, with just short usage of my furnace. I hate thinking I might have to pull out to get propane with only such a short time until I leave.

Karen, I wish more places had the money back on the bottles. I'm finding any kind of recycling is getting harder to find.
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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby chalet05 » Fri Oct 06, 2023 7:58 pm

Looking back, I wonder if I looked at any drug plan other than the one offered by Humana at the time since I got their insurance. A big mistake on my part obviously. If I want a drug plan now, the penalty is over $4,000 - over $30 per month without coverage! My brother just went on Medicare about this time last year and how fortuitous he went with Plan G! Open heart surgery and now cancer!
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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby Cudedog » Fri Oct 06, 2023 11:09 pm

Oh Evie, what a terrible time you have had. My sincere condolences on your terrible loss. I never know what to say in such situations; please know that if I knew what I could say to somehow make it better I would surely say it.

Your wrenching story makes my own problems seem small. I am so sorry.

My very best wishes to you.

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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby JudyJB » Fri Oct 06, 2023 11:23 pm

Went to visit my aunt again today. She was very sleepy and had trouble forming words. No longer walking, so entirely in a wheelchair or in a lounger with her feet propped up. She is getting good care, however, with no recent UTIs or rashes from not being changed often enough. Just awfully depressing.

Much cooler today and going to be cool for next couple of days. Mid- 60s next couple of days and then low 70s for a few days. This is near Lake Lanier, northwest of Atlanta.

For those of you without drug plans, just know that there are a lot of cancer drugs these days that are not chemo and give you a much, much better chance of living a long life. The drug I took that put me into remission from CLL costs $13,000 per month, which is pretty typical for targeted cancer drugs. That is $156,000 per year, but because this is into the catastrophic coverage area, Medicare drug plans pay all but $7,400 per year in 2024. The above was for the pills I took for 12 months. I also had about a dozen infusions of a monoclonal antibody that costs almost $9,000 per infusion, which totaled about $108,000 per the year of treatment. I never paid any of this because I was in a research study, but if/when I go out of remission, I would have to pay these prices if I did not have drug coverage. You can apply for lower prices from the drug companies, but they do not like it if you could get insurance but chose not to. And if you really want a shock, check out the prices of all those drugs they are advertising on TV! I don't mean to scare anyone, but it is a serious issue, although actually a $4,000 penalty is pretty low.
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Re: The Missing Ones

Postby snowball » Sat Oct 07, 2023 1:13 am

I guess I didn't pay attention and my post went bye-bye :roll:
so all I am going to say is I'm so very sorry for your loss Evie prayers and ((((hugs))))
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