Chris from the singles forum

[SoCalGalcas]

Good morning, when it became apparent that I was going to be living alone, my daughters brought up the subject of help when I needed it. At first they were going to call me. Then it was decided that I sometimes don’t hear the phone, that wouldn’t work. So I suggested I call them every morning. Now I Amin the habit of texting on a group site ( 10 people) every morning just saying “good morning. I told them to give until noon to send a message before they do anything. I am lucky to have this kind of contact with the kids and grand kids. It gives me a secure feeling. I donor want any heroic efforts (to resuscitate me DNR, but , like Sandy it’s the dog I worry about.
This is very good subject for our forum.
Lyn

[Redetotry]

Keeping in touch with someone daily is a good idea. My cousin has called me every morning for years. Sometimes we chat more than others but we at least we keep up with each others lives. I think all of us on the forum appreciate that our absence is noted.

Shirl you crack me up! I wish the younger generation of parents understood that THEY are the parent. I don't have children but when I see some of the things parents let their children do or say it really shocks me.

[Shirlv]

BJ,

Say what you mean
Mean what you say
Don’t say it mean

[Cudedog]

Ya know. . . I was 40 years old when my first child came along, 42 with the second. I was, more than once, asked if I was their grandmother.

I don't think I was particularly strict - but I did pay attention. More than once I was criticized that I needed to "loosen up" and not be so (?) controlling and, well, yes, "strict" with my kids.

I mostly ignored this unsolicited advice, and just continued to do what I was doing.

And you know what?

Although I am not taking particular credit here - (both my daughter and my son were great kids growing up, and are wonderful adults today) but. . . a couple of my kid's friends ended up with early-teen pregnancies (both the girls and the boys, if you know what I mean) and a couple others did the drug route.

Not my kids, though. At least as far as I am aware. . .

Wonder why that is?

Anne

[JudyJB]

For about 6 months, I sat next to a man who was about 50. He had a wife and one daughter, but honestly, neither of them could do anything without asking his opinion. He was constantly getting calls from them. As an example, his daughter wanted to sign up for community college class to prepare her to be an emergency responder. I swear it took four or five calls to her dad while she waited in live for about an hour. And the father would spend 5-10 minutes answering all her questions until the next phone call! You know, what time should she choose for her class, should she buy books now or after class started, could she use the family car in the evening, was her dad really sure she should take this class? Honestly!

We worked in a large open area, with fairly small cubicles, and our group was spread all over the place. One day, my supervisor grabbed me as I was walking past his cube about three rows and a couple of aisles away, and wanted to know "Who IS that guy next to you??" With almost no walls, you could hear everyone's phone conversations if they sat at their desks. Eventually, the guy got transferred and the public conversations ended. It was exhausting just listening, and often I wanted to tell him to let his 20+ daughter make her own decisions, but I kept my mouth shut.

[gypsyrose1126]

Interesting post
Sorry about your friend Chris. I have often wondered the same thing, I usually live by myself, although this year my son is here trying to get back on his feet. But I camp alone most of the time in places where I don't know anyone. I try to keep in touch with family and friends, but sometimes days go by without talking to family or friends. As others have mentioned about their kids, my daughter is super busy, full time work, special needs daughter, 2 cats, a dog , she plays volleyball, friends, and takes care of her Dad. I really try not to put more on her than she already has. As I get older this becomes more of a concern.

[Cougarfan]

I knew Chris from the singles forum fondly (it was the first RV forum I joined when I got my first travel trailer). I remember he was boondocking at the casino in Corning, CA so Karen and I took a road trip from her place, and surprised him at his RV. We had a nice visit and then headed home. It was about a 400 mile round trip for a 30 minute visit LOL I realized the other day that I hadn't seen any of his posts in awhile so I went to his page and saw the post his daughter put on his page that he had passed. I was shocked.

I remember being in the chat room when Dick was absent (which NEVER happened) and we had someone start calling. We all found out in the chat room that he had passed. It was very sad. I went to his memorial service in Tacoma and it was very nice.

I still work full time so it wouldn't be very long before someone noticed I was missing. I talk to my family and Karen every couple of days. When Karen was sick last year, I texted her almost every day just to make sure she was okay. I knew she didn't want to talk on the phone, but the responses to my texts each time kept me from jumping in my car and heading to her house unannounced (which would have really annoyed her LOL) to make sure she was okay.

I also live in a 55+ manufactured home community and let me tell you, these people are nosy (in a good way). I'm pretty sure if they didn't see me walking the dog, they would be over to see if I was okay.

There are lots of great ideas being shared here. Just like always, this is such a great group.

Laura

[Cudedog]

Please post more often, Laura.

I miss your posts.

Anne

[Liz]

Sorry to hear about Chris. I used to enjoy reading his posts, but never met in person. This has started a great conversation. Lots of good suggestions. ACV, the village where I live has a lot of things in place to check on folks. One is a daily check in with a friend or volunteer, usually a phone call. Certain of the residential apartment buildings have a main desk in the lobby (which is manned by volunteers) where residents check in daily. If they don’t, then someone checks on them. In other neighborhoods neighbors keep track of neighbors. Every resident has a service coordinator who checks on their clients on a regular basis. How often varies with their needs. We are still independent, so we meet with our coordinator once a year to see if needs have changed. But we can call anytime we need something.