Chris from the singles forum

[Bethers]

Chris and I became friends in the singles forum. He and I have kept in touch over all the years, usually about once a month. Yesterday I heard from Sharon who belonged to both forums. Chris died earlier this month. He was still a solo (with an adorable kitty) and died alone without being found for at least a couple days. I'll miss him. I'm glad to know that it appears he died quickly. Karen, it reminds me of when we lost Dick from the singles group. At least our diligence got him discovered the same day!

I'm not trying to depress everyone, but it's making me think about all of us living alone and how easy it could happen to many of us. Between this forum and FB there are very few days that I'm not in touch with someone. Last winter at my south Texas park I talked to the managers and asked if they didn't see me out with Ty any day to please come check on me. Just in case. It never became necessary, thank goodness. I play my word games with my sister daily.

So if I email any of you who don't check in as often as you usually do, please know I care and I don't care if you're not saying anything but hi. I realize many of you have children and probably have some sort of communication, hopefully daily with one. But we all also have each other. I'm glad for each of you.

[OregonLuvr]

Beth I just found out a couple of days ago that he had died. Laura looked up when he last posted and saw the announcement from his daughter that he had died. We didnt have any details. Like you I have kept in touch with him over the years. I fondly remembered him playing his music and singing at our YUMA GTG. he was pretty good too. It so reminded me of Dick's story. He was only found quicker as he was a moderator for several groups including ours and the computer was his life. We were persuasive tho in getting the police called after the manager said she had seen him that day, when she had actually seen him the day before. I hate losing our long time friends.

[JudyJB]

Thanks for the information.

Unfortunately, I do not have daily communication with either of my kids because they are very busy, I don't want to bother them, and they would be likely to forget anyway. I was thinking about this last night as I was getting into the shower.

Is there a company or non-profit that will do check-in calls on solo people like me? I need to do some research, but if anyone knows of one, I would appreciate hearing about that company.

Just found this one? This one is a free app. Some companies rely on automated calls and require a land line. Others are expensive. This one sends a message to your cell phone, and if you do not touch the check mark, it sends a message to your emergency contacts. Has anyone used Snug or knows anyone who uses it? https://www.snugsafe.com/

I am also considering a purchase of an I-Phone 14 Plus because it has satellite emergency service if I am in a place with no cell service. Read about some people stuck in a slot canyon who used one to call for help. They are really expensive, however. Guess I could pay for it monthly on my Verizon bill. I had one of those devices for falls, but I wanted to use it for walking places where there is no cell service, and it does not work without cell so I cancelled it.

[monik7]

I think about this often. I’m not RVing anymore and live only 40 miles from my daughter, but there are often weeks in between contact with her. I suppose I could email or text but I know how very busy the whole family is and it would most likely be missed in their busy lives. She has 4 children who are very involved in school and other outside activities and I don’t think my daughter has time to even check her phone along with her work schedule. I worry about my two dogs if something happens to me. I’m not sure what the solution is.
Sandi

[BarbaraRose]

Judy, that Snug app sounds like a good deal! I might do that once I hit the road. Great idea! And it is free!

[chalet05]

Chris was quirky and very talented musically. That made me look up Bob from Chicago and found he passed away in 2020. Can't remember Pete's last name. Great guys all.

I don't know if you remember the female doctor that disappeared about the time of Covid and was eventually found passed away in her bed. She was in her 60s. She had been camped and made friends with several people who couldn't reach her. That was when I decided to text my daughter every morning. It is a simple 'Good Morning' because she is usually at work. After you have done it a bit, the words just automatically pop up to send. It doesn't take but a quick glance at the screen for her to know I'm still here. But, of course, the person has to check their phone.

[Cudedog]

I don't know if you remember the female doctor that disappeared about the time of Covid and was eventually found passed away in her bed. She was in her 60s. She had been camped and made friends with several people who couldn't reach her. That was when I decided to text my daughter every morning. It is a simple 'Good Morning' because she is usually at work. After you have done it a bit, the words just automatically pop up to send. It doesn't take but a quick glance at the screen for her to know I'm still here. But, of course, the person has to check their phone.

And. . . the person one might like to be doing the checking has to be interested enough to care.

I think this is a problem that many of us "of a certain age" are facing. I don't think there are any easy solutions.

Anne

[JudyJB]

I just signed up with the Snug free plan. What you do is download an app and allow it to find your location. Then you enter in your phone number and email address, as well as the phone number of someone who would contact you in an emergency. What made me decide their method was a good one is that it works on a cell phone, not on a landline phone as some of the other programs do. Also, some of the other programs assume you will always be at a single home.

While I did not like allowing it to find me, I think it is necessary in this case. My biggest fear has always been falling in the shower, so I decided to select the latest time available--9:30 pm EDT. So what will happen starting tomorrow, is that it will send me my cell phone a signal. It will make a noise and show a check mark on the screen. If I grab my phone and tap on the check mark, it will turn green and do nothing else.

You can choose to have the app send a notification to your emergency contacts only if you FAIL to check in, or you can choose to send a notification every time you DO check in. I like the former, but your son or daughter may want to know the latter. If you choose the free plan, nothing else will happen. They will not make sure your emergency contacts do anything, but at least they will be notified.

If you choose the $99 per year "dispatch" plan, if you fail to respond to the check mark, a real person will call your cell phone to see if you answer. If you do not answer, they will call your emergency contacts to ask someone to check on you. If the dispatcher cannot confirm that someone will check on you, they will notify the local police or fire to check on you. They also require that you put a key to your home in one of those realtor boxes, and give them the code on the key box so they can get in without breaking a window.

In my case, I have given my sons my schedule for the next few months, and I almost never go out at night, so I should be able to check the app easily. They also can find my location on their cell phones and call the campground or state park rangers to check on me. They can also call the police or fire themselves, and give them information about the realtor key box. Also, I was concerned about times when I am out of cell service. There is a way to set it to be on vacation, so they will not respond or get upset if you are in Spain without a phone or on a cruise to Antarctica. I very occasionally stay somewhere without cell service, but I always let me kids know ahead of time. They would know my site number and the name of the campground I am in from my schedule to give to police or fire.

We shall see how it works. I talked to my kids this afternoon, and they both said it will relieve their concerns if they knew I was checking in and they would get notified if I did not do that. The thing I like is that I do not have to remember to check in with someone, and they only get bothered if I do not respond to a message.

There are other details, so you should read the whole thing online at snugsafe.com.

[snowball]

I have had those thoughts when I was boondocking ... two of my kids have a tracker on my phone... and have used it when I am traveling just to make sure I am ok ... I almost called my dd to see where I was one day... I was in Idaho Falls not towing but didn't want to turn left due to traffic although that would have taken me to the road I wanted to take.. but I scooted across the street when traffic allowed it with the thought that I could just turn right and get back to the road I wanted to be on to get to the road I needed no such luck I went North which was the direction I needed to go... I kept thinking don't know where I am but I am going the right direction... finally had to turn and had to turn East but again it was the direction I would have needed to go... but still no idea where I was finally gave thought to calling dd and asking where am I but you know pride not wanting to admit that I didn't know where I was... when I saw in the distance what looked like an over pass so kept going and found an entrance so I could go North again which is the direction I needed to be going and the highway I was looking for anyway... perhaps a tracker on the phone would be a help and if they notice that the phone hasn't gone anywhere they who ever has the tracker could call and see if you are ok... just a thought
you referred to Dick??? as a moderator was that on the singles? or the original woman's forum?
sheila

[Pooker]

Two things come to mind: First, the little town in New England that I come from had a Senior Center that encouraged those living alone to sign up for a lifeline companion. They paired two folks up and let them set the time they would check in with each other. In my Mom's case, I think it was early morning that she and her phone companion checked in. Sometimes they would chat, sometimes they would just say Hi, I'm ok. If there was no answer the other person called the emergency contact. No matter how you arrange it, an emergency solution could always have complications - like your phone battery dying, or the power goes out, or whatever. However, it worked for my mother for quite awhile.

Second: Most smart phones have GPS routing. Ask your phone to direct you to your destination if you are lost. You might be able to get turn by turn directions. My phone is the cheapest one I could get and it has GPS routing (and voice requesting - look for the little microphone on your screen). Again, not without complications - like out of cell range, etc. Some of us will remember a GTG in Quartzsite where one of the ladies had us in stitches telling us about her son tracking her every move and how she would thwart him and go off on a different route. Can't remember her name, but you can set something up like that if you're comfortable with your son or daughter knowing your every move!

I had On Star on my previous car and when I got hopelessly lost one time, I never thought to push the little blue button! Instead I called my sons and they looked up where I was on their computer and talked me out to familiar territory. Sheesh! Never entered my head to call On Star! Why pay for something you forget to use? I had an elderly friend who lived alone and fell a lot. She had one of those emergency alarms around her neck, but whenever she'd fall she would call me! Then I would have to call 911! We are funny ducks, aren't we?

Evie

[Shirlv]

My old neighbor and I signaled each other with our curtains. We closed them every night and opened in the morning. Now my morning routine is turn on the coffee and text family and friends. Anne, you mentioned a community center. Evie had a good solution for you. If your center doesn’t have some kind of system you could suggest it. A text isn’t invasive and am sure there are others that would appreciate a check up.

[BirdbyBird]

Evie, my Mother in Law lived at home until she was 93 and died in the fall of 2006. She had three sons and their families in the area but she had an arrangement with one of the few friends she had left from her church. One or the other would call each other by 10:00 each morning. Back before cell phones etc. It worked for her and her friend.

About a year ago when visiting my daughter I thanked her for not living down the street or that she felt she HAD to call and talk every day. (She is an independent strong woman) She laughed and agreed. She said one of the teachers she works with is talking with her mother every morning as she walks into the school in the dark from the parking lot. After a brief pause, I did warn her that there may come a time that she will need to call me everyday to check on me and see if I am alive. The look on her face was priceless but I think the issue was not lost on her.....

[Shirlv]

Maybe an age thing but my two cents. The whole world is walking around with a cell taped to their hand. I don’t care if grown children are busy, tough, they can check for a smiley face every morning. If you are dead you don’t need help but you could be laying on the floor in pain. You are still the parent, don’t ask tell. Geeezzzz

Sorry that sounded more harsh than I meant. There are many ways to say things. A text can also improve things. My two daughters step up if I need help. Good ole boy son would do anything ask. I send son a smiley face with hearts every morning (he has a flip phone) so replies Morning. I don’t know if he is hanging on a scaffold so said “no need to reply I’m just sending you a hug”. He replied “maybe I am sending you one back”. We probably wouldn’t say that in person and sometimes weeks go by that we don’t physically see each other but there's a connection. Life’s too short.

[Cudedog]

Anne, you mentioned a community center. Evie had a good solution for you. If your center doesn’t have some kind of system you could suggest it. A text isn’t invasive and am sure there are others that would appreciate a check up.

Thanks, Shirl. It is actually a Senior Center, and now that you mention it I think it likely that they have something like this - or at least know of something like this. I'll look into it!

Anne

[chalet05]

Shirl, those were my thoughts as well!

Tina, even on a cruise, my BFF has to talk to her daughter and others at least once a day! On our first cruise, I told her I'd prefer not to hear her conversations. My daughter and I seldom talk on the phone - I'm sure her hubby hears enough when I'm there in person. We text which is fine by me.