Frosty Wednesday Morning

[JudyJB]

At the University of Michigan in the early 60s, the girls had an 11 pm curfew on weekdays and midnight on weekends. Did not have to sign out or in, but doors were locked at midnight and you got in trouble if you came in late. Ditto for sororities.

The really unfair part was that the boys had absolutely no curfews at all!! So what would they do after they dropped their dates off at their dorms or sorority houses?? All go out for a midnight meal!! Typical to lock up the girls so the boys do not take advantage of them! At least we did not have nasty housemothers, but I did get in trouble one year for putting a black sign on my room door with the words "Bah Humbug!" on it for a Christmas decoration. I thought it was funny, but housemother was very upset at my lack of respect for I have no idea what.

How things have changed.

Does anyone remember panty raids???

[snowball]

another day can't believe how fast time goes by or seems to finally made the banana bread brownies... and fixed one of my husbands favorite dish actually would say that it is his favorite dish just didn't follow the rest of the dishes that would have gone with it... perhaps some of you in the Mid West would recognize the Maide Rite burgers.... had a recipe given to me that as Larry used to say was just rite...almost not quite but when I'm in the mood for it it's just rite.... it would have been his 84 th birthday today.... time as gone by but I still miss him probably always will.... as his eldest said you would be so proud of your family....
planning on going back to Jackson tomorrow depending upon the results of the test will leave Friday for UT... looking forward to being back with family my kids yes I've spent the week with family but it's different...
it was fun reading about your memories... I went to a church 2 year college lived off compass but in "approved" housing (if you lived off compass it had to be in approved housing) remember a water fight that extended from the parking lot into the apartment wonder how we got it dried out .... funny what you will remember and not remember....
we have a famous bear in Grand Teton National Park who is getting a bit too bold saw a video that she and her 4 cubs were roaming through down town last night or early morning... famous or not she needs to take her cups and head north for everyone sake... not meaning to start a heated discussion but they are grazing in garbage cans once a bear gets the liking for easy pickings then it's not good for them not health wise at all I'd hate to see something happen to her and her cubs...
you all have a good day
sheila

[Redetotry]

The one left in a couple of days because he had no place to stay, but the one renting surf boards stayed a few weeks to earn enough money on a job of some sort to pay for gas to get back to Florida. He is the tanned one, obviously, but can you guess which one I was? Unfortunately, I never took photos of the pickup truck, but we did keep a group diary, and I have saved that all these years!


And this photo shows some of us in our hotel room that had the kitchen. We had made spaghetti and several college students dropped in. The guy with the beret is the second person who made it to Michigan, but hitchhiked. Actually, he beat us there and was waiting for us when he arrived. The skinny blond guy is my eventual husband and then ex-:


Actually, the two beach bums were really decent people, but that was the culture in 1964, as some of you might remember. This was mostly pre-drugs with only a little drinking. (Those were the years, however, when Tom Hayden was editor of the Michigan Daily, had formed Students for a Democratic Society, and was hanging around with Jane Fonda in Ann Arbor.) No one in our Daytona group or that we hung around with got drunk on that trip, but you do crazy things when you are young, don't you?

Judy are you the one in the pink swim suit in the picture? I like the idea of posting or sending you secrets to guess who. I had registered to go to college to study agriculture in 1960 ! Can't believe I wanted to study ag, I probably thought there would be more guys than girls in the classes. I ended up working in a bank as I didn't have the money to pay college expenses.

[Cudedog]

I had registered to go to college to study agriculture in 1960 ! Can't believe I wanted to study ag, I probably thought there would be more guys than girls in the classes. I ended up working in a bank as I didn't have the money to pay college expenses.

Ah, yes, the memories of days gone by.

I tried going to junior college, financed out of my own pocket by odd and/or part-time jobs. Made it through the first year, then had to drop out due to the expense and the need to work full-time to support myself. Even junior college in those days (at least as I remember it) was very expensive, and there wasn't (under the then-governor of California, who shall here remain nameless) any kind of student aid to speak of (at least none that was accessible to me), so that was it.

I really hadn't worked too hard in high school - still ended up with mostly "A's" with a couple of "B's", and (by choice) I always selected "college preparatory" classes when they were available, especially in the sciences. I was full of hope for my future.

On my last day of high school, I remember walking home (three miles! Although I didn't always need to walk, often a friend would give me a ride.

Chin up, shoulders back big grin on my face, ready to take on the world, I guess. I remember striding through my front door, to be met by my father (he worked odd hours).

He had these words of congratulation for me: "You have now graduated from high school. Forget about college, any college money is going to be saved for your [younger] brother. It is MUCH more important that he [because of his gender] go to college than you do. You need to get out and find a job as soon as possible." With that, he turned on his heel and walked off into the other room.

And that was it. Talk about life-changing events that one never forgets. . .

As mentioned above, I tried to finance my own college education as long as I could, but it was just not to be. I often wonder what my life would have been like had I had parental support for a college education. I will never know.

Anne

[Bethers]

I hated high school. There are some good memories, but others not so good. So I never intended to go to college. I got a full-time job. But things took a turn. In September I passed out in the bathroom at work. My mother was called and took me to the doctor. I was taken immediately to the hospital where I was put in isolation. I had a very bad case of hepatitis. Not as much was known then, but I was in the hospital over a month and my doctor told me after the 3rd week there was hope is survive. I continued recovering at home and in November decided to apply to the junior college. Anne, like you I needed to fund everything myself. My mother agreed to be continuing to live at home. I worked two jobs equaling full-time plus hours and went to school full time starting that January. By attending summer school, I graduated junior college in 1 1/2 years with super grades. I applied to a couple somewhat local colleges and while an hour away, was accepted and received a partial scholarship and attended that one. I continued working all but one semester while attending full-time and graduated as if I'd started originally in September after high school. Because of all the work I didn't have many hours to play. I remember some classes and a few classmates well. For the first time in my life I took history classes that taught true history. I cried daily in one of them. I became an activist, but not as much as I would have if I'd had more time. Especially for Native Americans and women. I graduated college with no debt and no student loans and no money lol. I don't regret any of those days or how hard I worked. I truly believe that history professor made me change for the better.

I graduated and worked for a community action program before taking a job working for disadvantaged youth in a Catholic charities program. I wasn't Catholic and boy did I put my foot in my mouth more than once with Father Smith who headed the program. I fondly remember those altercations. Later I learned he did also. The rest of the staff normally had the jaws dropped, I think expecting each time I'd be fired. I was moved from working with the high school girls into the high school boys program .. only the third secular woman to ever work with boys of that age and definitely the first that was only a few years older than them. I have fond memories of those days.

I've had a couple other near death experiences in my life, but that one completely changed my direction even if I didn't stay the path of working in those programs and went a different way with my career.

Sorry, didn't expect to write a book .. but there you are anyway.

[BarbaraRose]

I often wonder what my life would have been like had I had parental support for a college education. I will never know.

My relationship with my dad was always rocky but especially thru high school. My dad had always said he would send me to college. When I was accepted to St Cloud State College, I asked him for the tuition to get started and he told me he didn't want to waste his money on me going to college (meaning I wasn't smart enough, even tho I made good grades in high school. He also used to tell me I would never amount to anything ). So Anne, I can relate to what you said. I wanted to either go into psychology or graphic arts back then. Instead, I eventually went to cosmetology school and paid my own way for that.

I have always loved school and learning. I have taken lots of courses in different subjects over the years. I just lack the confidence to pursue them afterwards.

I still wonder what my life would have been like with college and emotional support from my dad. He really did a number on my self-confidence and esteem. It has taken me a long time to work on getting that back and I still struggle with it when I face challenges.

My brother Paul didn't want to go to college and all thru my adult life, my dad would say to me "I sure wish he would have gone to college. He is so smart!" Or the other comment..."He should have been a minister since he has so much compassion for people". This is the brother who has always been verbally abusive to me, and highly critical of everyone else. Paul could do no wrong in my dad's eyes!

Martha, it sounds like you went to a strict college! Yikes! I would have had a very hard time dealing with that. I have issues with authority figures, especially ones like that!

The one advantage to working as a stylist was being able to move anywhere and always be able to get a job.

[BirdbyBird]

Barbie, the rules for women in college had more to do with what year/s you attended that which schools. I attended school in Lexington, KY in the late 60's. In the fall of 1968 we had to wear skirts and dresses to classes and the dining hall. We had house mothers and dorm hours and had to sign in and out in the evenings. I worked the front desk often and had a front row seat has the girls rushed to get signed back in before curfew. There were nights when the fire alarm would go off and one often suspected it was to get someone safely back in or out of the doors. There were no males allowed on the floors at any time. By the time I graduated in spring of 1972 the rules had all been changed. First to go was the dress code for the dining hall. Next was the dress code for classes. By Senior year there were no curfews for the dorm but I think there was still a process for signing out and a security guard at the back of the dorm for gaining access after normal hours. Then there was the rule that changed and allowed male students up on the floors at certain times. Men and women living on the same floors or alternating floors never did make it during my time but then our dorm didn't have suites with their own bathroom but the communal ones spaced out along the floors. It was during those years or a few years later in graduate school that the rules that had made colleges stand in for parents were challenged and college students were considered adults. No matter if parents were paying tuition or the student, no one could see your grades unless you gave permission.

My stepmother's narcissistic personality did a number on me and my brother and sister. "She was only criticizing us to make us better you know." She really thought that. It destroyed my older sister, who died as a result of an alcohol related injury in her thirties. She struggled to find her way through most of her life. Somehow my older brother made it out to adulthood but I give tremendous credit to my wonderful sister in law who saw his heart and his worth. I started out by junior high gravitating to teachers and ministers and relatives who seemed to reaffirm my worth. I seemed to sense what I needed and was able to find it when I needed it most. My sister never had that support. Sometime in my early twenties standing in a room trying to argue or defend myself from my step mother's comments and opinions, a light went on in my spirit when I realized that she didn't know me or understand me and therefore her opinions of me had no real meaning. That awareness helped me through adulthood with may other relationships.

I didn't actually go to formal therapy but many of those important adults I found along the way were very therapeutic and reflected back to me the possibilities of being in the world without being destroyed. Well.... and I always had my animals......

[BarbaraRose]

I tried to find mentors too but most of them were dysfunctional as well. The best thing my dad ever did for me was getting me into equestrian riding lessons which really helped with my confidence. My cat was my best friend when I was young.

[JudyJB]

I m the short person on the far right with the patchwork bikini, or what passed for a bikini in those days. I remember it was pretty shocking.

Most young people today do not realize that the reason my generation,and the ones before and maybe a decade after it, did not have big students loans after we graduated was because THERE WERE NO STUDENT LOANS!!! So, if you could not pay for it, forget it, other than the few people who were able to get scholarships for part of the cost. At least students have the options to attend college with loans if that is the only way they can go. And of course, there were no government grants, either.

I was lucky in that my parents were very supportive. My mother came from a big family, but her father was a supervisor in the Ford Foundry so he always worked, but there was not quite enough money for college. My dad had a very rough time growing up as he was working as a caddy and giving his money to his very sick mother for groceries from the time he was 14 because his dad was a drunk. Then his mother died when he was 18 and his father when he was 22. So my dad had just gotten married, and he needed to support not only my mother, but his younger brother and sisters! There was no way he could have gone to college, although he had wanted to. It was not easy for him to pay for my college, but he managed, and I am very grateful.

I had a couple of uncles who pulled the "We can only afford college for the boys, not the girls, so they should get jobs" bit. In both cases, the sons did not want to go to college and never finished, but the daughters managed somehow to go and graduate. I remember one male cousin in particular who never got along with his dad because he had not only forced him to go to college, but also chose a career for him!

And by the way, they forced my younger brother to go to community college, but he never went to classes and then dropped or flunked out. Part of the way they forced him to go to college was to buy him a sports car!! I know it took my dad a long time to pay it off, and by that time, my brother had long since dropped out.

[BarbaraRose]

Judy, it seems like your dad should have offered him the sports car after he graduated from college, not before he got started!

My brother insisted that his son go to college, and paid for his first year. It wasn't until the end of that year that my brother found out his son never went to any of his classes! On the positive side tho, he met his now wife while he was there (at a bar) and her aunt inspired him to become a cop which he loves!

[JudyJB]

My brother was three years younger than me, and he played the "poor little Rick" technique all of his life. We never got along because he constantly blamed me for his problems. He did not get good grades because it was too hard to compete with me. He said teachers compared him to me so he did not work hard at school--my fault again. Also, I was too bossy and nosy, especially when I told on him when he lied about stuff like not taking his medicine when he was supposed to.

My dad bought into all of this hook, line, and sinker, even to his death. My mother was a little more suspicious, but when my brother was extorting money from them, they believed him and gave it to him, so the sports car was just another case of bailing him out.

The extorting money went this way--his ex-wife was a bad mother and would beat the kids if they did not "loan" him money to give her for child support. My niece fell from a set of monkey bars and broke her arm, and he told my parents that his ex-wife had done it!! I can still never forgive him for that!!! I kept telling my parents the kids were fine and did not act like abused children, but they believed him and thought I was just being jealous!

[BarbaraRose]

Wow Judy! Family members can be so toxic! At least eventually, we can put space between us and them.

[BarbaraRose]

Wow Judy! Family members can be so toxic! At least eventually, we can put space between us and them. Life is too short to have people like that in our lives if we don't have to.

[BarbaraRose]

Wow Judy! Family members can be so toxic! At least eventually, we can put space between us and them. Life is too short to have people like that in our lives if we don't have to.