Monday, October 25

[Shirlv]

Morning All, a little warmer today. A string of storms headed my way for the next couple of days. Going to make a early quick run for eggs and fresh produce. Sheila, thanks for the suggestions. Wish you didn’t have the hard decisions. Need a quick shower and get on the road. Be safe

[BirdbyBird]

Not overly exciting weekend here in Ohio. Cooler temperatures with rain on Sunday continuing some today. Jane picked up two Select placements this weekend and gathered up two more Grand Champion points towards her next title. Since the show site was only 20 minutes from the house I came back Saturday and picked up Audrey and Lark so that they could go back with me and earn their Farm Dog Certification titles. They liked not being left out and they got to come into the building and see and visit with some of their people and dog friends. Lark was particularly pleased.

Sheila what ever you decide take a stand on some of those important things. If you want a room cleared out so that you can be comfortable, clear it out. If you decide to stay it is for your Mom but don't slight your own needs. If you refuse to lie down it is much harder to be walked on. You being the oldest sibling and being easy going, kind hearted and thoughtful all have probably contributed to much of your family giving you a certain "role" in the family dynamic. Doesn't mean you can't help redefine some of those parameters to better support your health physically, spiritually and mentally.

[Irmi]

Good morning Shirl, Tina & all!

Sheila, please heed what Shirl & Tina said. I was a care giver for my parents and it was the hardest thing I ever did. I was at their house for 3 days at a time, so was more or less on call 24/7. On day four, I had to have a day break and would go back for another 3 days. I truly hope other family members, maybe even church friends will offer their help.

We had an inch of rain yesterday, a 1/2" last night and the rain just started again. But it should be out of here close to dinner time. On a good note, it was 70 degrees when I got up this morning. Steve is having a great time with his Big Green Egg and depending on the weather later, he will put on a pork loin.

[Cudedog]

Sheila what ever you decide take a stand on some of those important things. If you want a room cleared out so that you can be comfortable, clear it out. If you decide to stay it is for your Mom but don't slight your own needs. If you refuse to lie down it is much harder to be walked on. You being the oldest sibling and being easy going, kind hearted and thoughtful all have probably contributed to much of your family giving you a certain "role" in the family dynamic. Doesn't mean you can't help redefine some of those parameters to better support your health physically, spiritually and mentally.

Tina, extremely well said.

I concur on all points. I would just add one thing: whether (or not) Sheila has "more free time" to take care of her Mom is completely immaterial.

In point of fact, no one - and I mean no one - has "free time" in their lives, unless they choose make it. It sounds to me that Sheila, out of the kindness of her heart, has chosen to "make time" in her otherwise BUSY life, in order to care for her Mom. Anyone - siblings included - can do the same, if they choose to do so! We all have busy lives!

I would just repeat what Tina has said, with emphasis: ". . . don't slight your own needs. If you refuse to lie down it is much harder to be walked on".

Also, keep this in mind, Sheila: If you buckle under the strain, then what happens? To you, and to your Mom? Who is responsible then?

Anne

[Acadianmom]

Sheila, sorry they make it so hard to put in a shower. Harold had the foresight to tell them to make this house handicap accessible. There is a walk in shower in the large bathroom and some of the doors are wider. I don't need a walk-in shower yet but it's nice to wash the dog in. Instead of towel racks we put grab bars in several places and I use them for towel racks. Clean out the bedroom you want to use. Your mother probably doesn't even remember what's in there so wouldn't miss it if you threw things away. If she misses something tell her it's in storage.

I got dressed early because I wanted to go talk to the vet about one of Mr. P's medicines. It makes him foam at the mouth and have long strings of drool so don't think he is getting much of a dose. And it makes him crazy about taking his other medicine because he thinks it will be the bad one. When I looked out it was too foggy to get on the road so had to wait an hour. The vet works with a pharmacist in Lafayette to mix things for him. He is putting the medicine in a cream for me to rub on Mr. P's ear. He is suppose to absorb the medicine through his skin. I told the vet that he would just barely eat the special food and he told me to mix some food he likes with it. I didn't know I could do that. I thought he was just suppose to be on the special food. I mixed some tuna cat food with it and he scarfed that down.

Cell phones make me crazy. The battery on my new phone is seldom below 90% but yesterday it was down to 68%. I tried to make a call and it told me twice that I didn't have a SIM card. Grrrrrrr Then it turned itself off. When I turned it back on it was on stand by what ever that is. Today when I was at Walmart it woke up and started getting all kinds of messages from Facebook.

When I was getting dressed this morning I put on black jeans and a white shirt with either black or navy stripes. I can't tell which. It made me think of one of my mother's sayings, it will never be noticed on a galloping horse. That might have worked when I was younger but I don't think I'm all that fast now. If anyone can tell it doesn't match they can just think I'm losing it.

Martha

[Shirlv]

Sheila, when you go to the hospital ask the charge nurse, who in the hospital can help you make care decisions. I know your heart is in the right place but lifting/ helping your Mom is not something you should be doing and her house might not be conducive to care for someone her age and physical condition. Think you need more professional advice on how to handle Moms care.

[JudyJB]

Ditto from me on what everyone else has said. Besides the charge nurse, see if there is a social worker who can help. And if all those "busy" siblings have no time, they can chip in and pay for a home health care person for several hours at least two days each week!! Not just Saturday, but TWO DAYS, because you will need it. And spread them out. Also, surely your brothers and others can take a couple of days to put in a shower and help you clean out the bedroom, and maybe including painting it and doing whatever else it takes to make your comfortable and give you a private place.

Glad the rain has moved a little south in California so that the northern area gets a break and the southern part can get some rain. Looks like even LA will get some rain in a day or so. Napa had 4.5" and the river that goes through town is flooding, but I hope not too badly. Napa is really low. When my son first moved there in 1997, his apartment was at only 18' above sea level. (The river is actually an extension of the north SF bay, so the lower parts even have a bit of a tide.) His last house was at a whopping 65' above sea level, but this new one is only 48' above sea level, even though is is part way up a small hill!!! The Napa River runs right next to downtown, so it is very easy for that area to flood. And the entire valley water flow goes through the Napa River! A few years ago, they built quite a few apartments and condos down river from downtown Napa, where it is even lower, so I wonder how those are doing.

We had .4" of rain yesterday and last night here on Amelia Island. It was good to have rain, and that amount sounds about right. Sun just came out, and it is still nice and warm here.

Anne, what is happening in your part of California?? Waiting for your update.

[MandysMom]

We closed yesterday at midnight, just past 6 inches rain for 24 hours! Broke all time previous record set in 1880! Some sun, off and on today and it's 63°. I bagged junk in craft room yesterday (much more to go), and followed a tutorial to complete a foggy forest scene. We had clam chowder I made Saturday for both nights. I need to go fix Stormys chicken, birds fruit, and set Chris up to fix his breakfast sandwich (sausage and biscuits I baked over weekend). Then off to Curves.
I concur with all suggestions made for you Sheila. Not sure, but bathroom remodels gret idea, but might require complicated, expensive permits. I know they do here. But get kids to help clear that room, your Mom isn't in a position to dictate that.
Velda

[Othersharon]

It has turned into a rather pleasant day despite all the rain we’ve gotten the last few days with more forecasted over the next few days with much lower temps. I had to run to the lab for an upcoming appointment next week. Luckily the medical practice has a has a lab here in town. So I didn’t have to run into State College today. Then Rascal got to go for a walk since it is so nice out. Glad I did it when I did since it’s clouding up again! Shelia, I ditto what has already been said. Having been a caretaker for my mom I know it can be very wearing. Luckily I had support from my DH and sons but ultimately it was decided she needed more care then we were able to provide her and she was in a care home. My sibling still mentions sometimes that she feels bad that she wasn’t closer to help us more. But I was lucky that she took on any paperwork and things that she could do from a distance plus was always a phone conference away. It is a 24/7 responsibility that shouldn’t be only for you to take on, in my opinion. My thoughts are with you. Sue, glad you’re able to get outside more! Beth, sounds like you may be able to leave when you were hoping! Anne, how’s your weather shaping up this afternoon. Rain is good but there can be to much of a good thing! Time for me to get a couple of things done since my afternoon is just about over! It’s turned into more of an inside day then I wanted since I was hoping to get to some of the leaves but guess they aren’t going anywhere! Another day, for sure! Hope you all have a good evening.

[JudyJB]

And do all the clearing and cleaning out BEFORE she comes home from the hospital!!! That way she cannot complain as much.

[Bethers]

Sheila, I agree with everything that's been said. And second Judy's last comment here to clean out the room and make it yours right away. Don't wait on that.

When the time came with my mom, we couldn't take care of her at home. Both my sister and I tried as even when she went into the nursing home we were alternating weekends bringing her home. I didn't dare sleep all weekend. She was too weak to stand but even with a hospital bed with railings I ran to her when I heard a loud noise and discovered she somehow managed to get over the railing and fall to the floor. Luckily she didn't break anything. But I was always afraid of her being out of my sight after that. Please get whatever help you can.

I finished with my work today. I'm now sitting in the rig listening to the wind and rocking and rolling with it. Tonight we'll have rain turn to snow and a very cold tomorrow. Wednesday should get better and I intend to leave Thursday when the wind is supposed to be gone.

[chalet05]

Sheila, such good advice on here. Definitely start the cleaning out process. I see no reason you can't get some sibling help on weekends from those who work. Don't make it too easy for them. I worry about how hard this will be on you physically and mentally.

Chilly but I took the Sling out for another look at fall colors - probably the last with rain and wet leaves. Think I was grinning all the way even if it was 44 degrees. There's snow in the mountains and we have had rain. And then - my seat got stuck in the far back position and I could not budge it! Drove sitting on the edge with no seatbelt! Remembered a side road so I didn't have to drive through town that way! I'm sure the tracks are just dirty.

All the food talk on here and I can't come up with anything that sounds good! Too used to summer foods I think. Won't be any dinner if I don't go to the store today. I do buy a frozen entree once in awhile, but not like I did before. Sodium is just too high.

Karen, I saw someone post on Leavenworth page that they lost items in Alameda fire.

Another UPS fail today - said shipping label incomplete but when I went to correct it, it was all there!

[BarbaraRose]

Wow! I just got home and we are having super high winds and a dust storm here! It wasn't bad until I got to my exit off the freeway. Could hardly see thru the thick blowing dust to find where to pull into my park. I got to my house and about got blown off my feet getting out of the car! I ran inside to close all my windows quick. My bedroom is covered in dust! The wind is so loud it sounds like a hurricane! This kind of wind makes me nervous! No rain here but it is very dark up toward LA.

My neighbors slide awning is loose and blowing all over. Will have to let her know about that later. (she was just outside looking at it).

Well, besides the high winds, dust storms, torrential rains, possible mud and rock slides, we can add a tornado near Bakersfield and a 4.7 earthquake north of Santa Barbara!

[OregonLuvr]

Had a busy day today, got most all my errands run so that is good. Just got home and I took hamburger out last night so going to make meatballs, mashed potatoes and some corn for dinner. Can heat up the rest tomorrow as I leave for Medford on Wednesday.

Yikes Beth snow LOL Hope the weather cooperates and you can get outta town on Thursday. Anita yes many of us from Almeda have scattered over the USA. My Motorhome went to Tennessee. There are still lots trying to find homes but since everyone jacked up the prices it makes it difficult. Most of the Parks were 55+ or housing migrant workers and others. The 55+ parks had so many on fixed incomes and not alot of savings, some didnt have insurance so many left the area to live in a cheaper place or with relatives. I was smart tho as soon as I saw what they were doing to the house prices I got out of the area. I bought my house end of September and closed Oct 15th so I got in under the wire of people moving north even to Roseburg.
Sheila even if your family is not willing to do their part, a care home is not the worst option if she needs more help than the "family" can provide that is a viable option. And you need to keep her safe so you need to think about it long and hard. You are only one person AND you also have a life. It is funny how when these things happen there is alway one person they all think should step up. Well I say they all need to step up one way or another.

[BarbaraRose]

I can relate to being the one everyone expected to take care of my parents. My brothers were married with kids, so of course, me, being single with "no life or obligations", was the obvious choice! I moved back from Denver, CO to take care of my mom, and I moved back from CA to take care of my dad. Never mind that both of my brothers lived within 10 miles of both of my parents but were "too busy" to help them.