unpleasant question

[snowball]

There is always a time that comes when we wonder if the "Time" has come...
what do you look for in deciding if the time has come to put a fur child down?
sheila

[Bethers]

Oh Sheila, that's so hard. For me it's if my baby has enough joy in living anymore and if there's pain, can it be controlled without taking away that joy of living. I try to take my feelings out of the equation as much as possible.

[Cudedog]

Sheila, so very sorry to hear this.

The "time" is different for everyone. It is one of the most difficult decisions that one can make, and I have never been good at it. For me, I have been one that will hand-feed and carry out to "potty", always hoping for a "miracle" for a fur baby that has already added up an amazing number of years on the clock.

Looking back, I realize that I did not do each of my cherished ones, nor myself, any favors by hoping. . . time is time, after all. It goes by, whether we wish it or not. We can't change how it passes.

Knowing what I know, I pray that I will have the strength not to put it off so long when. . .

But, in my heart, I know that I will do it just the same again.

I share your tears.

Anne

[BirdbyBird]

Folks will say that you will "know" when it is time but as most of you know I have lived with many animals at a time and as you might imagine I have had to make those "last drives" many times over the years. Back in junior high and high school I also got to witness the last hours of several horses as we walked and walked them trying to keep them on their feet and not let them go down. sometimes between the vet and miracles the horses made it other times we were not so fortunate. The truth is we all do the best we can of "knowing" but that 100% sure thing is elusive. It is one of the most difficult decisions most of the time. You play over the "what ifs" and you back away from the relief that letting go brings.

As Beth mentioned a big issue is quality of life, Are they in pain? Are they just making it through the day without really connecting to anything anymore. My English Cockers always kept eating so I couldn't use any lost of interest in food. Stuart was 10 and over a period of time had gone from 27 pounds to 17 without giving the vet/s any clues as to why his body wasn't processing any nutrients from the foods he was eating. He spent his last day happily flirting with the vet techs and eating the hamburger they shared with him. But I let him go with all his dignity still intact. I had watched his declining health and knew that there was nothing left for him to lose but his sense of self and he was on the brink of that "cliff" and about to crash over.

The most important thing is for you to know that you get to make that decision. You don't need to worry about what family, friends or strangers think. You are the one that has loved and cared for Shadow, you are the one that will grieve even while you celebrate the memories of all the life you have shared. I am not one of those people that wait hoping that they will die peacefully in their sleep. I am not saying it doesn't occasionally happen that way, but I have never seen it at my house. What I have seen around me are instances of my family waiting too long and witnessed the unfortunate results.

You have a lot of decisions about your own life coming up in the next weeks. When to move. Care for you Mother. May you find the strength to chose what is best for both Shadow and for yourself. There are no promises of perfect choices but I am wishing you as much peace as you can find to support you through the journeys.

[monik7]

I’m so sorry it’s reached this point Sheila. Similar to Tina, I’ve gone through the same situation with so many animals over the years including my beautiful horse of 25 years. It’s never an easy decision, but the fact you’re asking the question may indicate the time is near. It’s important to think of Shadow first and the quality of his life. I know you’ll make the right decision regardless of how hard it may be. I will keep you both in my prayers.
Sandi

[BarbaraRose]

(((hugs))). What the others have said. It is about quality of life for him. It is a very difficult decision that can be full of second-guessing yourself. But ultimately, you will feel what the right decision is at the right time for his sake.

[OregonLuvr]

This is always such a hard choice on what to do. I have had to send many animals to the bridge over the years. Dogs, cats, horses. My sweet Blossom did pass away peacefully but to be honest did not make it feel any easier. I have seen this in the ICU, people not wanting to lose their loved one, even when quality is or will be gone. Sometimes we hang on for ourselves not our loved one whether it be a furbaby or human. To see someone's 95 year old grandmother on a vent, tubes everywhere, really no hope of real recovery and they want EVERYTHING done to save her instead of letting her go peacefully and/or with dignity. I feel the same way about my dog. I dont know if we ever "know" when it is time but if the quality and enjoyment they once showed is gone I kind of feel so are they. Always a hard decision even when we know it is the right one. Hugs to you for having to consider this in the future.

[snowball]

Shadow has very little quality of life he sleeps more of the day than he is awake... try's to get up on the couch sometimes is successful other times not... drinks not much but pees like a lot and food last time I filled his bowl was Sat it is still pretty much full it may have even been Friday... I pretty much know that the time has come it's just me being selfish and not wanting to do it cause he pees where ever... I have the floor covered and he went one of the two places that didn't have a pee pad down ... I probably will make that drive when I get back up north that way he can be buried on the property... it's just really hard but the way things are right now he can't be at mom's and I can't ask anyone else to care for him did I mention he is pretty much blind and can't hear never barks he doesn't indict except at night that he is in pain I will hear him whimper
and no nibbles!!!! which is good but almost miss it
thank you all for your thoughts
sheila

[IrishIroamed]

So sad to read this Sheila. Shadow has been a loving, faithful friend to you. This poem has helped me in tge past. Its atear jerker, but helps you think from a pets perspective. (((Hugs)))

A Dog's Plea
by Anonymous

"Treat me kindly, my beloved friend
for no heart in all the world is
more grateful for kindness than
the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick,
for although I might lick your hand between blows,
your patience and understanding will more quickly
teach me the things you would have me learn.
Speak to me often,
for your voice is the world's sweetest music,
as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail
when the sound of your footsteps falls
upon my waiting ear.
Please take me inside when it is cold and wet,
for I am a domesticated animal,
no longer accustomed to bitter elements.
I ask no greater glory than the privilege
of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water,
for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.
Feed me clean food that I may stay well,
to romp and play and do your bidding,
to walk by our side and stand ready,
willing and able to protect you with my life.
And, my friend, when I am very old
and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing and sight,
do not make heroic efforts to keep me going.
I am not having any fun.
Please see to it that my life is taken gently.
I shall leave this earth knowing
with the last breath I draw that my
fate was always safest in your hands."

 

[snowball]

Thanks Cheryl
after saying he was eating he started eating but isn't standing well... even to pee he will sometimes just sit and pee
I do know that it is time... dread it though but at least up there I will also have the support of family as well thank you all for your kind thoughts
sheila

[retiredhappy]

It never gets easier. I so feel for you. I had to face this with my Sophie a few months ago. I still cry when a picture of her pops up on Facebook but I had her for 11 years after finding her running loose in an RV park and no one claiming her. My biggest fear now is not outlasting my four babies. I've rehomed as many as I could find a good home for and am down from seven to four. Two of my boys, Winston and Bandit, are difficult to place as they are markers and need to wear bellybands. My one guy Baxter, is such a good boy and I've had him for nine years so he's around 11 or so. The SPCA didn't know his real age when I got him. And lastly, my 12 year old Daphne, my little Chihuahua princess. My hope is that I outlast them. Its hard not to keep rescuing. I actually recently rescued a five year old miniature doxie that someone advertised for free on our local marketplace. He was tied up outside as his owners, who had him since he was a puppy, had bought a new mobile home and didn't want inside animals anymore. I was able to place him with a foster who does doxie rescues. He, of course, wasn't neutered. What is the matter with people. He's doing really well, is now neutered and they are socializing him so he can be placed in a forever home. In the last six years, I've rescued and rehomed six babies. Just remember he had a wonderful full life with you and was a happy dog.