Some Suggestions Needed on Getting Aunt & Uncle to Californi

[Cudedog]

Judy, If flying isn’t physically harmful and money is no object I would prefer dealing with two agitated people for 5 hours in a private jet over traveling days in tight quarters. There is no guarantee your relatives will be calm travelers in an Rv. Hiring a geriatric nurse for the flight would help. I have taken care of three elderly relatives so know what a difficult problem you face. Wishing you safe travels in what ever you decide.

I was thinking on this, but Shirlv posted first. I agree with the private jet idea 100%. The cost of renting some kind of RV, plus hiring a helper of some kind, plus gas, plus motels, plus whatever - the costs will really add up. Then there are the unknown factors that can affect a road trip - bad weather, potential RV breakdowns, flat tires, road closures, accidents, detours, etc., really add to the stress load.

Then there is the problem of you aunt and uncle climbing in and out of whatever RV you decide on - what if they have a fall and are injured? What if they become ill mid-trip?

What happens if either your aunt or uncle become belligerent and combative (can happen with dementia patients)? What if they pile out of the RV during one of your inevitable pit stops, and start screaming for help?

Too many "if's", at least for me. I agree with Shirlv. Hire a jet and hire a geriatric nurse to go on the trip that can assist them during the trip, and sedate them if it becomes necessary. If you add everything up, and have an ample budget for them to make this move, I think a jet would be more than worth it.

My heart goes out to you, Judy. You are very courageous to take this on, on top of dealing with your own serious health problems.

Anne

[BarbaraRose]

I think flying would be a good option too. Or maybe a bus with a caregiver or two with them. Just some options.

[JudyJB]

I have been thinking more lately that the plane might be easier. Excellent point about easier dealing with agitated people for 5 hours than a long trip in a van or motorhome. I was also thinking maybe a regular plane with a longer stopover halfway there, so we could all get off and walk around, use larger bathroom facilities, etc. Have not priced a private jet, but that is a possibility also. Might also be able to give them meds to relax them, with a doctor's advice, of course.

I will have to figure out cost of gas and food and such for a long drive. You are right that it could really add up for five people needing three hotel rooms for at least 2 or 3 nights.

Yes, they are lucky to have us. I am also very lucky that the other POA, who I never met until about 3 years ago, is someone I trust and get along with. It could get nasty to have two POAs who do not agree on stuff. We found out from the moving lady and her son, plus some caregivers and neighbors, that when they were still in their house in Georgia and the condo in Florida my slimy cousin who was trying to get them to sign a new POA and will never even made sure they had food in the house or helped with anything like cleaning or taking them to doctors!!!!!!!!!

You know the old, "Be nice to your kids because they will be picking out your nursing home." It is definitely true, and I am happy to have two sons who I will be able to trust with my care.

[monik7]

A private jet will most likely be quite expensive. Recently I was looking into how to get my 2 dogs to Maui if I decided to move there. I would never send them in the cargo hold of a plane and they’re both a little too big to qualify to ride in the cabin. I found one place that apparently arranges flights like that with others who want to transport the same way. Wow is it expensive. However, if your aunt and uncle have the resources and you can get an OK from their doctors, I think it would be the best choice for everyone involved.
Sandi

[snowball]

going to chime in with a question... what about a near by state... AZ UT or NV closer by lots cheaper than you will find in CA I am sure... I used to work for an assisted care center in SLC (out of business many years) but lots of the centers have apartments for married residents so they can be found. perhaps adding to the area might help close enough to visit often but not out of reason when doing so unlike trying to go to FL .... if it wasn't for their handicaps living on a cruise would work haha
seriously a big decision for sure lots to consider but I am sure that you and your cousin will do what is best for them
memory care centers tend to cost more perhaps see if they would fit into another one not specialized and save the money for later on down when that specialization might be needed. Also you mentioned that your aunt seems to be ok then not perhaps her issues are more medical related wrong prescription or lack of proper nourishment or dehydrated
sheila