Some Suggestions Needed on Getting Aunt & Uncle to Californi

[JudyJB]

The other co-POA and I are seriously thinking about somehow moving my aunt and uncle to southern California near where she lives from Florida. Reasons are as follows: 1) easier to monitor their care, 2) my aunt really wants to move to CA, and we have talked about this for the last couple of years, 3) the facility where they are has a problem with almost-naked people wandering the halls and we are not happy with their care, 4) if something happens to my uncle, aunt will be near family. (They have no friends or relatives in Florida except my slimy cousin who has been following them around for a year with a new will and POA, which he has tried to get them to sign, turning over all their money and possessions to him, of course!!)

So, aunt is using a walker but walks fairly well. Her dementia is mild-moderate with some short-term memory problems. She can sound perfectly lucid for a few minutes, then slips into more dementia. She eats well and uses the bathroom without any incontinence problems.

Uncle is worse, both physically and mentally. He is bent over and uses his walker heavily. He is also mostly incontinent and wears Depends, although he can use the bathroom in time sometimes. His dementia is also worse, but he does recognize both of us.

I have checked around for medical transportation, but the services available are mostly for people who are on oxygen and maybe a respirator and bedridden, which does not match my aunt and uncle. Alzheimers Association does not recommend flying because it sometimes upsets people with dementia. I was hoping for some sort of transportation service that could drive them non-stop with a bed in the back and a place for them to sit occasionally. Does not exist.

So, it occurred to me that this sounded a LOT like a small RV! Voila! There is a young man in Florida whose mother runs a senior moving company and helped them move. She found and "rescued" all my aunt's very expensive and valuable jewelry where it had been hidden and turned it over to a lawyer, who found us. This young man, by the way, did most of their moving into the original assisted living, and he is the one who alerted his mother that my slimy cousin had left them with no groceries and no care. He might be willing to ride with us and handle changing my uncle's Depends. He has taken him to the doctor several times and cared for elderly people. We two older ladies would definitely need a male caregiver to deal with my uncle.

I am envisioning a Class B sort of thing, with a bed in the back and regular seats that maybe reclined, We would take turns driving and pretty much try to drive except for maybe one hotel stop. Except the only rentals are for Class Cs, which I supposed we could do a small one. (I do NOT want to take my motorhome and have them sleep in my bed, so that is out of the question.) So, does this sound crazy??? ANd where can you rent a one-way Class B???

[snowball]

I don't know the answers to any of your questions Judy but think it is a good idea
and hope it works out for you
sheila

[Irmi]

Judy, there are companies that rent RV's. Let me do my homework. I think Cruise America is one.

[Bethers]

Class B's are rented all the time. Some places include them in their Class C's. That said some need to be returned to the location you rent it from. Others (many the national rentals) have one-way rentals. I think you need to figure which option you need first, then go from there. But even before that, you'll need to research and find a place for them in California . Good luck.

[BarbaraRose]

I would go with a Class C since there is more room, and with your uncle using a walker, it would have a larger bathroom, and then having another person with to take care of them. That could be crowded in a B. A national company like Cruise America would probably let you take it from FL and drop it off in CA.

I assume money is no object with finding a place for them to stay out here. I am sure places like that are very expensive in CA. It would be better to have them closer to "good" family.

[JudyJB]

Actually, we found at least one place, but it is under construction. One "companion suite" will be ready in September and three others in November. One problem is that nearly all memory care facilities assume a single person will be living there, so rooms are usually just big enough for a single bed, a dresser, and a recliner of some sort. My aunt and uncle obviously want to sleep together in at least a queen-sized bed! (They have been in a king bed for most of the 65 years they have been married, so even a queen is a squeeze.)

Also, memory care places want residents out of their rooms and socializing all day, hence the tiny rooms. However, this assumes they would be in their rooms alone all day otherwise. (One administrator I talked to said they did not want people talking to themselves all day.) But my aunt and uncle are together and still like to watch TV and would like a second room for two recliners and a couple of side tables, plus a TV. If not a second room, we would like at least a large enough room to hold a larger bed and more closet space. Luckily a few places have what they call "companion suites" which are basically two connecting rooms to be shared by sisters or good friends or the occasional married couple, but they are hard to find.

Right now they are paying $10,000 per month or $5,000 per person, but the one in CA would be $13,000 per month, which is a lot of money, but they have two social security checks, and he has a military pension from 25 years of service and retirement as a colonel, and also a State of Georgia pension from 30+ years teaching at Georgia Tech. Plus, they have investments and savings. They are not part of the 1%, so we have to be careful with their money, but they can afford the monthly fees. Plus they have duplicate medical insurance from the military and from Medicare so no big medical bills, at least. And we would not have to keep flying out there or pay extra people to oversee their care.

And we just sold one home, so expenses will start going down since we will not have condo fees, taxes, and utilities for that property. One down, two to go!

[JudyJB]

I thought a larger B might have more comfortable seating for a long drive. Also, the second person has never driven a motorhome, so the smaller the better. And the ride might be smoother. I will have to look at small Cs.

[asirimarco]

You might check with Jucey or Escape Campervans both are class b Escape has several different units. Don't know about the drop off in different state problem.

[Pooker]

Judy,

I have had both a C and a B and the B is not necessarily a better ride. In fact, my C was actually more comfortable for long drives. I agree with Barbie that it would be terribly cramped to have 3 or 4 people traveling together in most B,s. You would need to overnight at motels since there wouldn't be sleeping room in the rig. A C is not that much harder to drive than a B. None of us are born knowing how to drive a motorhome of any size, so as long as one other person can spell the driver at least on the highways, it might be doable. My RV magazines have many ads for people you can hire to drive a rig across country and if you belong to Good Sam or FMCA they have members who will also volunteer to drive. Might be worth checking out. Since you might have to stay in motels anyway, you might want to consider renting a large 6-8 passenger van instead of an RV although that might present a problem not having a bathroom/kitchen.

I know you wouldn't be looking for a place for them in my area of Southern California, but there are many places out here with many options. I would suggest calling "A Place for Mom". They put me in touch with quite a few retirement places. One that I visited used to be for retired Air Force folks and was attached to March Airforce Base (no longer active). The resident community is now open to the public and not exclusive to retired military, but you say your uncle is retired military so there would be many others there with like experiences. Their literature states it is "a Continuing Care Retirement (Life Plan) Community, Independent Living with Services, Assisted Living, and Memory Care" (info@LiveAltavita.org). I also visited other places with studio, 1-bed and 2 bed units that also had caregivers. I'm sure you could find many such places around CA and A Place for Mom isn't the only referral service that helps with placing elderly patients. You might try to contact the Council on Aging.

Good Luck! We would all wish we could have nieces like you two!

Evie

[Acadianmom]

If the young guy is going couldn't he return the van or Class C back to Florida. I think it's a good idea to get them away from the cousin. He could cause all kinds of problems.

Since vans and Class C's are so high you will have problems getting your uncle in and out. You better have plenty of help.

Martha

[Bethers]

Judy, have you considered using your rv? Just a thought. And no, I can't imagine 4 of you in most Class B's... The only exception would possibly be the larger B's and that is pretty much similar to a C.

[MandysMom]

Judy, most class B have only 2 regular captains chairs as they are built for one or two people. They will often have a sofa with seat belts but I wouldn't consider that optimum seating.
Velda

[Rufflesgurl]

Judy good luck with this transition. My 100 yr. old mother went into a care facility in March
in Central Coast of CA and it has been one issue after another. Even a very short trip for a hair cut Is so traumatic and
the effects can last for days for her. Personal opinion is that a Class B would be way too tight
for 4 people. Also, cost for senior care in CA is very high and just keeps going up. Sucks
to get old??!!! Hope you find a solution.

Linda

[monik7]

My RV seems to be classified as a B+ or small C depending on whether you’re talking to the dealer or insurance company. Either way, I see no way 4 or more people, with 2 being in the state your aunt and uncle are, would be able to comfortably travel to California in it. I think you would definitely need a decent-sized C with access suitable for your aunt and uncle for such a trip. Since your uncle relies heavily on a walker, would he be able to get up the stairs of any-size motorhome - and your aunt too?

You’re doing such a good job and I don’t envy you. Your aunt and uncle are very lucky to have 2 wonderful nieces. Keep up the good work and good luck!
Sandi

[Shirlv]

Judy, If flying isn’t physically harmful and money is no object I would prefer dealing with two agitated people for 5 hours in a private jet over traveling days in tight quarters. There is no guarantee your relatives will be calm travelers in an Rv. Hiring a geriatric nurse for the flight would help. I have taken care of three elderly relatives so know what a difficult problem you face. Wishing you safe travels in what ever you decide.