Cool Tuesday

[BarbaraRose]

Another cool, gloomy day in SoCal. I love the cooler weather! The gloominess saps my energy and motivation tho. And I have lots to do today.

My roommate didn't come home last night so she must have gone up to Ramona to see her daughter and grand kids.

I still have some fleas around here. I have been putting coconut oil on my lower legs lately and I just found some bites above me knees! Will have to put it all over I guess! Just glad to have found something that works to keep them off me (and makes my skin nice and soft!) They may have gotten me the other day when I was out defleaing the porch. Still haven't seen any inside the house.

Lola is still being a sweet lap cat. So untypical of her but I am loving it! Emily just pretty much keeps to herself during the day.

Hope you all enjoy your day!

[avalen]

Good morning all
Our mornings are so nice these days, makes it hard to go to work. Abbys eye is totally healed and the hair is starting to grow back in where she lost it. She's such a happy girl and the two of them are so much better with each other.
Nothing new in my life to talk about, but I'm still around. I do read the forum most every day just don't post. Have Colorado friends coming in for a visit this weekend, will be nice to see them.
Ya'll have a great day

[Acadianmom]

I got home from Texas last night about 11:30. I should have stayed at my sister's instead of taking a chance of being on the road that late. I can't get close enough to her house to plug into electricity and I couldn't run my air conditioner anyway. It was still 77 at that time of night so would have been hot in the camper. There is so much construction on I-10 that I wasn't coming back through Houston so was wandering all over East Texas to get back.

My hummingbird feeder was dry and I was afraid they wouldn't come back but I filled it up and have seen a couple of birds. I was seeing a lot before I left. We just missed the hummingbird festival in Rockport by a week. That would have been fun to go to.

It looks like the cats all survived my being gone. CC has been loving on me all morning. He wants me to sit and hold him but I have things to do.

Judy, hope your niece can get your Aunt and Uncle settled somewhere. I think the help you can get for elder care is different in every state. We had a lot of help with my mother 20 something years ago but now it is getting less and less. Hospice is still calling me to see how I'm doing. I'm sure if I would talk to them they would want me to go to grief counseling.

It rained a lot while I was gone and the yard is a wet mess. I went to bring something to the neighbors and it started raining again. I got wet coming back. The bottom part of the yard is going to have to be mowed with the tractor if it ever quits raining. It looks like it's going to be hot and wet the rest of the week.

I am waiting for the lawyer's office and the electrician to call me back. The lawyer's office left a message that they wanted to see me. The electricity had gone out on the old carport when I was getting ready to leave last week. I hope the electrician that we have used can put up a new electric box and redo the wiring to the outlets. I can see that a couple of the outlets are getting all corroded. They better hurry up and call because I need to go to town.

It seem that I don't know what day it is so moved my post to Tuesday.

Martha

[JudyJB]

The problem with my aunt and uncle is not getting care, it is accepting care. At age 88, they have enough money in investments in the bank to afford incredibly expensive care, even full-time in their own home. They will never be able to spend it all, even with the most expensive assisted living or memory care, even if they each lived past 100. They also have at least $1.7 million in homes, only one of which they are actually living in. They have vehemently refused assisted living and even to have someone come in during the day to care for them. (They are expecting neighbors to help them and provide meals, but neighbors are fed up and have said "no more.") Their 6,000 square foot home in a gated community in the mountains of Georgia is currently for sale but probably overpriced and will take a long time to sell, but they have enough money to keep all properties and spend from savings. Anyone need a house with 7 bathrooms???

So, even though he cannot walk without falling down constantly and has memory problems, my uncle wants to go home and work on his taxes and pay bills. Also wants to stop at bank on way home. Aunt is just plain livid at people trying to get her to go to assisted living because neighbors will help, except they have said they won't. The other niece just called me from the hospital, frustrated, as you might expect. She is calling uncle who is other medical POA with me. I told her we might just have to let them die in their home or let the state come in and commit them to care. (Do they do that??? Adult protective services left a card on their door yesterday.) And my uncle is still planning on driving.

I have slept less than four hours last couple of nights. Really hard to just let go and let them fall and whatever happens.

[SoCalGalcas]

Still, flat on my back! Spent the last three days at the other daughters home as she has the doggy door. I came home yesterday evening. Benji was so excited to be home he ran around all over the condo picking up and playing with his many toys!

I have a message into my doctor. As I do not consider this an emergency, I patiently wait for the return phone call. I do not have any pain when laying around. When I stand, it takes about 3 minutes for the pain to begin, then it grows until I again lay down. I am pretty sure it is siaticia nerve. Don’t want another MRI, have had several. Will do PT.....the nurse just called...will go see a doc this afternoon.

Beth, sorry to hear of your scoter accident. Judyjb, sorry to hear the latest about the aunt & uncle in Florida. I know I am stubborn, however I hope I don,t get that bad when I get old!

Lyn

[Acadianmom]

Judy, I know what you mean about letting go. When my husband was at home he had to be watched 24 hours a day or he would get up and fall. It was all we could do to pick him up. He fell and broke his arm when we didn't get to him fast enough. He never wanted to go into a nursing home but I was getting almost no sleep.

After my dad died my sister wanted to put her mobil home by our mother's house and mother stay in the mobil home and my sister's family move into the house. My sister's family needed more room. No way was mother going to do that. A few months later, after my sister had built a house somewhere else, mother could no longer stay by herself. We ended up passing her back and forth between us until she fell and broke her hip and had to go into a nursing home. I hope I can remember all this if I ever am faced with having to move.

Lyn, hope you can get some relief for your back.

Martha

[OregonLuvr]

Well not cool Tuesday here. Going to be 92 today and hotter then next few days then we have a cool down for the weekend YAY. Had an appointment with a new financial advisor today as my other one in Redding is retiring. I really liked this fellow so that is a good sign. Got some questions answered and my account will be transferred today. So that is done.

Now a few housekeeping duties and then just relax.

[JudyJB]

Ditto on hoping I do not get that bad when I am nearer to the end. I don't have a lot of money, which is why I am still working part-time, but I swear that short of being a burden on my kids, I am planning on enjoying what money I do have. I feel sorry for people who can afford safe and comfortable last days, but do not because they have forgotten that none of us can take it with us!

Lyn, glad you are going to doctor. When you said no MRIs, I was afraid you were going to tough it out on the couch!

[BarbaraRose]

The problem with my aunt and uncle is not getting care, it is accepting care. At age 88, they have enough money in investments in the bank to afford incredibly expensive care, even full-time in their own home. They will never be able to spend it all, even with the most expensive assisted living or memory care, even if they each lived past 100. They also have at least $1.7 million in homes, only one of which they are actually living in. They have vehemently refused assisted living and even to have someone come in during the day to care for them. (They are expecting neighbors to help them and provide meals, but neighbors are fed up and have said "no more.") Their 6,000 square foot home in a gated community in the mountains of Georgia is currently for sale but probably overpriced and will take a long time to sell, but they have enough money to keep all properties and spend from savings. Anyone need a house with 7 bathrooms???

So, even though he cannot walk without falling down constantly and has memory problems, my uncle wants to go home and work on his taxes and pay bills. Also wants to stop at bank on way home. Aunt is just plain livid at people trying to get her to go to assisted living because neighbors will help, except they have said they won't. The other niece just called me from the hospital, frustrated, as you might expect. She is calling uncle who is other medical POA with me. I told her we might just have to let them die in their home or let the state come in and commit them to care. (Do they do that??? Adult protective services left a card on their door yesterday.) And my uncle is still planning on driving.

I have slept less than four hours last couple of nights. Really hard to just let go and let them fall and whatever happens.

This sounds so much like my dad! He also refused to have someone come to the house to help him. If we did get him to agree to it, after only a couple visits, he would tell them not to come back. He also wanted to handle all his bills but was messing them up so bad, my brother took over. After a fight between them, my dad insisted on taking over his bills again and messed them all up again. He would have had plenty of money to live on if he hadn't been giving it all to the scammers. Luckily, he was no longer driving altho he kept trying to get his license back and insisted he passed the written test even tho he didn't. I had to finally let go of it all which was very tough and heartbreaking to do. But sometimes there is nothing else you can do, and the frustration and stress of it all really takes a toll on you. I just threw up my hands and moved to Arizona to get my sanity back!

Hopefully, Adult Protection will step in and take over.

[snowball]

my concern with adult protective service is that they might say you aren't doing
enough and take you to court..so some how it needs to be documented that you have
tried to do such and such I don't know if a recording of them saying no to all that you and your
cousin suggest would suffice or not
best of luck
sheila

[JudyJB]

I had the same concern, Sheila. I am going to call the hospital social worker and also the adult protective services social worker (I have names of each) and let them know that I am one of the two people with medical power of attorney and explain all we have done over the last two plus years to try to get them into assisted living.

If anyone complains, I have documentation in the form of emails from neighbors. And the other niece has also spoken to them. I also have spoken to her brother about the situation and both he and his other sister agree that we can't do anything. And the other niece has been hanging around the hospital for two days and has spoken to nurses and the doctor about their condition and how she can get them to agree to assisted living. The hospital said they cannot do anything. There is no one in the family, at least, who wants us to do more than we have done.

At least I know their medical power of attorney says they want to be cremated!!!

[MandysMom]

Judy, the thought just occured to me. Do your Aunt and Uncle have an attorney? If so you should be able to consult him or her and have it billed to the estate. Their lawyer should be their advocate in making sure they are safe. Do they have a trust? Our trust included provision that our executor (our younger son) could take over if we are not able to care for ourselves. Providing the evidence you have of falls and inability to care for themselves makes it pretty evident they need intervention for their safety. Their Dr should call the shots in saying they need to go to assisted living. I know of people told flat out, I won't discharge you anywhere but rehab or assisted living or whatever the situation. Seems pretty obvious it's time to take decision making away from them. Hoping for your health this gets resolved soon.
Velda

[SoCalGalcas]

Well...the doc I saw yesterday had a nice personality. But, I don't think he listened to me very seriously. He did order an ankle x-ray which showed nothing! The doc decided that the strap on my sandals was causing the pressure on my ankle, therefore, the pain. I have been wearing these sandals for 3 months with no pain. I also get the pain when I stand or walk around bare foot. With my history, I believe I know a lot about my problem, however, the doc, at one time mentioned "google". That joke about the difference between God and a Doctor is so right on!!! What the doc wants me to do is change shoes, wearing a different pair for one week, then returning to him. So, I will do what he says.

I did go into the Mayo Clinic site to look for information. During this search, I saw something called "pseudogout". I wish I had known about this 3 years ago when I had another pain in the other ankle. At that time I had x-rays, CT scan and MRI with no diagnosis. What is interesting, all the neighbors said I had gout at that time!!

My plan now is to continue to wear the other shoes, and treat the symptoms myself. Valerie is home and going to take charge of walking the dog.

To be continued....lyn

[BarbaraRose]

I can't believe a doctor actually recommended Google to you! I would find a new doctor! I can't imagine a strap on sandals would cause that kind of pain!