I actually did most of my grieving while I was taking care of her but the finality is still heartbreaking.
I realized this too, after my mom passed from complications with Alzheimers. I had been grieving the loss of so many things along the way, loss of the conversations we used to have, thing we used to be able to do together, loss of her personality and giving spirit. Still very sad to have lost her but a relief in the end as well. I dream about her almost every night yet and in those dreams she is the younger, healthy, beautiful, confident and loving person that I knew and loved so much! I feel enveloped by her love. Those dreams help to soften the sad memories of her at the end of her life.