Another Husband Question

[Echo]

Liz, you're sure feeling your oats today, eh?

Celibate Oats???? !!!

And as for Beth's comment???? "rocks rise"????? Hey ya wanna share that one? Never knew rocks to rise. Rocks fall, Rocks roll, Rocks tumble, Rocks slide and Rocks off but rise????

[retiredhappy]

ABSOLUTELY NOT!! Have been divorced since the 70's. Was married twice and found that I really enjoy being solo and don't like being told what to do and think. As I keep telling my daughter, there is a huge difference between being ALONE and being LONELY. Have found over the years that I enjoy sharing things with friends but like returning at night to my RV by myself - just me and the dogs.

[BirdbyBird]

I have stood places and thought about how it might be nice to have had someone there to see it with me. The dogs don't talk about the scenery in quite the same way I might. But I think that friends traveling through life can provide that for each other. I want those someones who will help me see more. Will remind me to look in the other direction when I thought the view in front was beautiful. There is so much to see and do. I want friends that will push me to explore what there is to see and do. I love curiosity and the discoveries it can bring. And I love the laughter.....

[soisew]

I divorced in 1993 and absolutely had no intention of meeting another fella. Life's most important task is to discover ourselves/our link to God, the universe, etc. - a difficult yet facinating journey. Once I'd reached a certain point in my self rediscovery I found happiness and further pushed away any thought of finding another husband. I just let go and lived! And, I guess that was the magic time -- for some weird reason I found myself in the situation of actually meeting some I would have found "perfect" had I set up a check off list! After 6 years -- I suddenly found myself into a relationship I never thought could have happened. We've been happy as 2 peas in a pod ever since!

I guess that would be my recommendation to anyone alone and thinking they need to search for a partner -- Don't! If it's meant to be the right person will "just be there"! I don't beleive in active spousal searches! And if the day comes I am alone again -- I will not actively seek a new mate. I will let things go the way they will go....

[dpf]

Nope...wouldn't do it. I waited until I was 32 to get married the first time and we were both pretty darn independent. We celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary last October and it hasn't always been an easy go...and I still don't have him trained! Wouldn't even want to attempt another one. But then...maybe a young good lookin' one...get 'em young and train 'em!

[Getupngo]

Gosh, as a group we're pretty hard on our husbands (so many widows). Beth, I, too
have cried a few times driving alone and having no one with whom to share the
pleasures of the road. Especially when I was driving across Texas. I looked to the
right and saw one of those little windmills that power pumps to fill large water
troughs. Jim had bought a lithograph of that exact scene ... and I felt like he was
saying hello. LOL.

[retiredhappy]

Boy do I agree with Sparkle. Pharmacy should REQUIRE a note from the wife before filling Viagra prescriptions. A randy 70 year old? YUK!! At least I'm safe - they all want a 20 year old.

[Cedar518]

hmmmmmm.... check out Naproxen (simple anti-inflamatory) sold at Sam's Club.... little blue pills that would look the same but not have that same effect! hee hee......

[Redetotry]

I wonder how men would reply if asked this same question.

Janice noted as a group we seem pretty down on husbands. I find the older women get the more they share this opinion. One thing I hear many of my women friends saying is that the older we get, the more we are the ones, I guess you could say, in charge. The other day I noticed as I was directing my DH that I was speaking like I would to a five year old as he couldn't/wouldn't seem to see what needed to be done next. Now, is this because we have taught them over the years to wait for instructions so they get it right or is it because they just need to be told. Since I hear this voiced so often in almost the same words, I'm hoping this development is not my fault & maybe just some sort of role reversal.

[sharon]

Pretty much the same story as quite a few of you gals here....Married to my best friend for 20 years after having a bad marriage to an alcoholic....2 years of cancer and he passed just when we were getting ready to retire. He was a great traveling companion, couldn't pass a dip in the road without stopping to see why it was there. Don't think we ever made a planned trip as far as we had figured to go...seems like we always found something interesting to see that wasn't on the plan sheet. We had a trip to Alaska planned with my sis and her DH, but he went before we could go, so BIL told me I WAS going, either in my rv or in their 5'er. Way to much closeness for me, so had to learn to drive our 38ft DP. (Diesel Pusher, Soos). I had never driven any of our class A's, way to scary. Been traveling ever since. For the first 2 yrs, didn't even know there were other men out there and didn't want to know. I would be out somewhere and someone would point out a guy and say "he was flirting with you" and I'd say "what guy?" Hooked up with a guy I dated in HS, figured out why I dumped him back then, met another guy I dated for about 6 months but he was a jerk, so dumped him. Been dating my current BF for almost 2 yrs, but we have our own houses. He's basically a nice guy and we do a lot, motorcycle trips, jeep trips, but I can't see myself living with him. At my age, I just don't see any reason to ever get married, altho the option of living with someone is still open. They would have to be someone very special, tho. Haven't found that person yet, and don't know if I ever will. I've been alone so long and am so independent it scares guys. Drives current BF nuts!

[MsBHaven]

Seems like a lot of independent women on this Forum - I think that is why it is so great.

I'm like, Tina, (BirdbyBird). I've been traveling the past year on trips without DH. Would I prefer having someone to share the scenery with, sure, but I enjoy it myself so that's good enough.

Would I re-marry if my husband passes away first? Maybe, maybe not. I definitely wouldn't be willing to share my money with anyone else. Now, if a guy had his own money, maybe. I love being married and for that reason I would consider re-marriage, but only if the money issues were worked out ahead of time. My husband says I should re-marry, but he doesn't want me to marry someone "stupid". He says they have to be able to take care of me as he has done (fixing things around the house, mowing, knows plumbing and electrical stuff, etc. etc.). I like men and enjoy being around them. Doubt that I would feel a need to marry them though.

I've joked and said I married my first husband because I thought I was an old maid at age 20. I married the second one for good sex. The next one, I'm marrying the guy with the biggest......motor home.

[Carolinagal]

Wow!! What a thread this turned out to be behind my back. I posted way back , before LIz, got risque

I said then, I didn't want one, wasn't looking, and after spending past two days in a small room deciding our case, with 7 of them, PLEASE Lord, don't send me one !!!!

I can relate to what a lot of you have said about sharing experiences and at times, tears will just poor down my face when alone, but thats my life now. I know my husband would want me to do all the traveling I can , and see all I can, before my years are up. He was a very generous, kind and loving man. We would and could have had some great trips together, but I won't go there. His sister and I, have shared many trips, so thats been great. Alaska will be our biggest trip and I'm so excited, so is Maggie, she loves Roe, we are hoping she and Bandit(cat) can bury the hatchet, but not in each other ha,ha.

I've had a great laugh this afternoon reading this thread, thanks Ladies!!!!
Carol

Submitted this then see Margie has one also, what a riot you all are. And she wants a ....big motorhome guy. Okay!!!

[Redetotry]

Oh Carolinagal I got the best laugh from your prayer!!!

[BirdbyBird]

Last year when I was working at the vet clinic there was a very independent young 35+ year old that had lost her husband to cancer. She had nursed him and supported him through the surgeries and through Hospice and had been widowed for about 5 years. While I was still there, she started a relationship with someone who really seemed to appreciate her and they seemed to enjoy each other. He even liked her animals! She shared their conversation regarding moving in together. She owns her own home.... She told him the only way she could imagine was if they had duplex next to each other. There is something about independence and valuing your own spaces......

[Getupngo]

I wonder how men would reply if asked this same question. ... Janice noted as a group we seem pretty down on husbands.

Nope. I was talking about the # of widows ... and was trying to be tactful. I meant we just put 'em in the ground.