Another Husband Question

[bluepinecones]

Some comments in several threads here coupled with those of a lady I met recently have lead to this question. Do you really want another husband?
I've been playing bingo with a recent widow for about a month now. She is charming, great sense of humor, good looking, etc and was widowed about a year ago. However, she is obsessed with finding another husband. While I would not trade the years I had with my husband for anything, I do not recall even considering looking for another one. Age and wisdom have taught me to never say "never", but I cannot imagine getting out to hunt for another husband.
Okay ladies, what is your take on this?

[Liz]

I'm with you...loved my husband and the years we had together, but now love my independence and freedom. I don't know what the Lord has planned for me, but I'm sure not planning for another husband.

[Getupngo]

I, too, was focused in early widowhood on being connected to a man (and I was for
a time). I loved my husband AND I would like to have a co-pilot & testicular-
American as a traveling partner. Married? I don't know. I still want to take off
in my rig for extended periods ... and for him to share the love of this, and have
the time and finances required for such travel. However, I love not having to
negotiate with anyone on purchase of rigs or in making plans.

Having said that, I realize the odds of me finding said man is similar to being hit by
lightning -- especially since I travel 6 months of the year, and how alluring strong,
independent, 50-plus women who pilot their own rigs seem to be.

[mitch5252]

I have had (and luckily still have) the love of my life for over 37 years. I could not have been with a better man for me, despite the 21+ year age difference.

That being said, and to answer the question - if the time ever comes - HELL, NO...took me way too long to train this one. Ain't gonna live long enough to train another.


Michelle

[ohlucy05]

There are some people who just are not complete without a mate but do I think that I would try to find another if something happened to Dennis? no. I have been married for almost 32 years and like someone else said...never say never or be very prepared to eat the words....but it would not be on my bucket list. And as I have gotten older...I let people live their life and allow them to find what makes them happy. (Children included...17 year old is the last .)

I have to say, people and animals can't be replaced just like friendships. You might get new ones but it is never quite the same and many times new people and animals are good in a very different way. And Dennis is not just my husband - he is a true friend.

Friends you can usually count on your fingers...acquantances are in address books and cell phone directories.

ohlucy

[BirdbyBird]

If something should happen to the one I have now, I would not worry about finding another.....I already am pretty independent. A long time ago he stated that I should not ask him an opinion if I just wanted him to agree with me....so I don't ask his opinion very often. I have my own retirement funds and am responsible for all my own bills plus a share of the stick house bills....but it is a small modest home. Given his lack of initiative for travel in the past I am making all my travel plan as a solo and am even thinking of a small cabin somewhere as a retreat from the cold weather. Life takes us on unique paths sometimes......

[Echo]

Husband? Yuck! I've been married twice, first one lasted 3yrs. He was not ready to grow up. Second time around we were together for 19yrs and married for 16yrs, 2 kids, split up summer in '93' and divorced in '94'. Lived with a guy from late '93' to fall of '02'. Hopefully I have gotten it all out of my system by now!!!

I am not in the least interested in finding a husband. I'm not the least bit interested in finding a mate either. As I posted quite a while ago if I get desperate? I'll buy a couple of condoms and find a bar. But to tell the truth? The thought of that doesn't float my boat. With my luck I would find some guy that interested me and he would be the sickest most perverted SOB out there.

I have found that I like living by myself or with Kelly so I really and truthfully don't want any male critter in my life. I don't miss the necessity of having to deal or negotiate with a mate for things. I quite like not needing to check in unless I want or to account for my time, money or attention. I hope I am sending off some good stay away signals. I don't go or frequent any place where I would be in close proximity to someone where we might get close and develop a friendship that might lead into something else.

Kelly says she doesn't want a husband either. Now she's not totally in denial of the possibility of maybe hooking up with someone and having a relationship but she says NO MARRIAGE. I think she has listened to well to me. Costs so littlle to get married but costs a whole hell of a lot more to split and divorce.

I have been hit on by men and women both. I guess for just a piece of you know what! One woman was really not pushy but extremely nosy about my living arrangements and my sex life. Finally told here how I felt and that IF I decided I was interested in any kind of relationship I would find some guy cause I didn't 'swing' any other way. I have nothing at all against any one who might or does but for me I'm not interested. Maybe just maybe find a like minded traveling friend for booty calls would work out good??? hehehehehe Meet up a couple times a year?

I like my single celibate life just the way it is Thank You very much.

???? I guess I could check out the adult novelty stores???

[AlmostThere]

I'm leaving it up to God to drop the 'perfect' man on my head, should He decide I need one.
I did 36 yrs of marriage and although I'm single now, it's really not much different than when I was married. He was never home, either working or off doing, well, I know now what he was doing!

[WickedLady]

NO! NO! NO!

[Sparkle]

One evening I was sitting outside watching the fireflies rising out of the long grass. It was so beautiful that I could have cried and wished that Dave was there to enjoy it with me. Then it dawned on me, even if he had been alive he would have poked his head out the door and said, Oh yeah, and then went back inside to his TV and remote! That husband of the future is perfect and of course he doesn't exist. Anyway, I haven't had any offers lately.

[Cedar518]

Good grief,.. I don't think so!

[Bethers]

Our answers really tell how independent we are, don't they. Am not looking for a partner, married or not. I do look for new friends, male and female - just like we've got here. However, like some of the others have said, I've learned to never say never, that's when I get what I say I don't want

And, similar to what Sparkle said, and I've posted before - when I started out on my rv adventure and drove into Avenue of the Giants in California, I immediately had to stop - as my eyes welled with tears and I felt so sorry for myself that I was enjoying this splendour alone. Then, I thought of my ex, and my other previous long term relationship - both of them would have reacted very similar - "OK, we saw it, ready to go yet?" NO NO NO - I got to stay and marvel and marvel some more. Took me all day to do that short 30 some mile drive. And never again have I cried over doing this alone - actually this time in my life I get to do what I want to do! How empowering and wonderful.

[rvgrammy1953]

Ya' know, I'm with Mitch on this one......Ernie & I have been married over 32 years...and we've had our ups and down....but have worked very hard to have what we have....if I should find myself without him....I would miss what we have, but do not believe that I would look for another....took me far to long to train the one I got and at 56, I'm too old to start over.....

[Redetotry]

Great question. Particularly loved Michelle's response of

"if the time ever comes - HELL, NO...took me way too long to train this one. Ain't gonna live long enough to train another."

to which I would reply AMEN!!

I was married when I was 23, divorced at 36. I loved being single, the freedom and the variety. I married again at 54 and found it to be a very difficult adjustment. Even though DH is very good to me, we are total opposites and I have learned to just never have a conversation with him about any thing much more involved than, what would you like for dinner, or where are you taking me for dinner.
The years I have been married have been the most lonely times in my adult life. I would probably not marry again, but I would look for a companion, something about marriage seems to change the relationship for me at least.

[Carolinagal]

I had a great guy!! I am not looking for another husband, I have never even thought of having another one, took me several years to grow into the person that seems to be able to take care of herself fairly well. Its been so many years now, I would probably be impossible for a man to live with, I have been so independent for so long, and I like doing what I want to, when I want to. I for the most part like my life as it is. I have full control of my "remote". Hard to give that up As has been said, I have no idea what the Good Lord might have in store for my future, as I said once before I would never marry again. Got a really super guy then. Don't think there is another anywhere. Besides I am too old to even want to try, but sure not saying ' never' again. The word never causes changes in my life. Have said I would never move again, and now am thinking of it. So Never is a word I try not to use around here

You ladies have been coming up with some good topics that gives us a chance to know another area of all of our friends on this forum. Fun too.

Safe travels all,
CArol