So frustrated! (again!!)

[BarbaraRose]

Just called my dad to find out when to pick him up for his doctor appointment tomorrow. He told me to cancel it because he won a huge lottery and the people are coming out with his million+ dollar check and a new Mercedes car at noon and he has to be there for that.

It just doesn't sink in with him no matter what I say or do, that this is all a scam! He already sent them at least $2000. Last time I had a police officer come to the house to explain this whole thing to him but apparently that did no good. I try to tell him it is all a scam and even print out stuff from the internet about these things, but he just refuses to believe it. He says these people are so nice and very religious so they must be the real deal!
I am now supposed to come over tomorrow with lots of pop and snacks for these people when they arrive. I just don't know what to do anymore.

I noticed that my brother took out most of my dad's money that was in his savings account and transferred it to his own account so my dad can't get ahold of it, so he must know about this latest scam too.
We are all so frustrated and tired of this. I just don't know what to do since nothing seems to convince him he is being scammed again. At least the house is protected now.

Sorry, I just needed to vent!

[JudyJB]

Change his phone number and make it unlisted. Call the phone company and lie, and then make up a story to tell him.

That is the only way it will stop.

[MandysMom]

You really need to get a court order to take over his finances. This will likely keep happening. Your father seems beyond being able to make responsible decisions. He could even put himself in way Of physical harm. He should no longer have access to money and this is no longer his decision. How did he get his hands on $2000'again ? It's way past time for tough love.
Sorry to be tough in this message but it's not just stressing you when your father could be in danger.
Velda

[BarbaraRose]

I wish I knew who we could talk to about this and what we legally can do. My dad refuses to let my brother completely take over his finances. There must be someone who knows how to deal with a situation like this legally/ethically. My brothers have been afraid to go to court to try and get legal control of his financial situation because they don't want to get him hating them for it. However, I think they don't really care so much about that anymore. He hates them no matter what they do now. (I am still in his good graces so far). I do think "tough love" is the right term for this. This is affecting our relationships with each other now too. My oldest brother has very little to do with my dad or us now. My other brother who handles my dad's bills, just found out he has MS and has that to deal with, along with lots of issues also going on with his father in law right now too. Just a very stressful and complicated situation all around.

[Yakn1]

Barbie, you sound like you think that all of you are dealing with a rational man!
Talk to some doctors or someone who can explain things about possible Alzheimer's or dementia!
Your dad 1. Probably doesn't remember your conversations
2. No longer thinks as he once did and doesn't understand anymore than 5 yr old would

Sorry to be so blunt, but he needs to be examined and if not competent one of you would be assigned his guardian.
The longer you put this off, the more difficult it will be.

Again, sorry for being so forward...

[snowball]

all good advice the problem is as I recall he goes to this dr an old man who says there isn't anything wrong with him
unless you can get him to see someone else and why would he?? he won't be declared incompetent. but agree something needs to
be done and I don't know how you will go about doing it...can you have an account that he can use that all he sees is 50 or so dollars
and I know that his number has been changed but perhaps again with some story as to why and block all phone numbers with the exception of
family and close friends drs ect...
what a pain to go through
feel for you Barbie
sheila

[Yakn1]

Just a thought, maybe someone from Adult Protective Services could help?

[Bethers]

I agree that one of you has to get power of attorney over his finances. It sounds like your brother is already on his account, so maybe right now take it all but a bare minimum from the account so he can't access that kind of money.

Sorry Barbie, I know this is frustrating!

[cnq50b]

I have no advice, only wanted to let you know I'm thinking & praying for you & his whole situation.
Can't imagine how tough this is on all of you.
Take care, Catherine

[MandysMom]

Look online for adult protective services or senior advocates in your area. There has to be someone. Having your Dad mad at one or more of you for a time is a small price to pay vs he be physically hurt or lose the house! If the doctor won't help, then he gets a new doctor and that is NOT his choice anymore. If he dights that and gets mad, all the more evidence for the judge to rule him incompetent. Making sure he is safe is the loving thing to do. There comes a time in many peoples lives where someone else, often a adult child, must become the "parent". If you have trouble finding the agencies mentioned, try calling a hospital and asking to speak to a social worker and ask them who to call. Even the police department should know of adult protective services.
Velda

[Redetotry]

((((((((HUGS))))))))))

[MandysMom]

Barbara, I just googled senior advocates minnesota and got lots of links that look helpful.
Velda

[BarbaraRose]

Thanks Velda, I will look into that.

Thanks to the rest of you for your words of support. I am checking into my options.

[MandysMom]

For your health, I hope you can get this settled.
Hugs
Velda

[OutandAbout]

Sending HUGS to you Barbie. I hope you can get everything gets settled soon. Linda