Life Passages

[Queen]

Peggy, isn't it interesting how things, some of them former passions, wane? Things we've devoted time, money, endless effort to... just fade away and we move on.

[gypsyrose1126]

Interesting topic -- I have never been much of a collector, except for books!!

by Queen » Sun Aug 30, 2015 7:21 pm
I hear you about books, Judi. Since 2005 I've gotten rid of over 5000 books in my collection, plus the accompanying bookcases. I'm down to around 300 and it weirds me out a bit, but I try to remind myself the library is close by... and I mat break down and get a kindle to scratch the itch.

I have a difficult time getting rid of books. I can sit by a book shelf and browse and read all day long.

I see myself in the above!! But I am down to about 200 and hope that I get that down more over the winter. I will keep my favorites and let the rest go. The library is close and with the kindle I always have something to read. The kindle is great for travelling, I don't have to bring 20 books with me! But it is always nice to actually hold a book and turn real pages -

[havingfunnow]

I'm down to about a quarter of what I had in the big house, and it's still too much stuff! As my son said when he helped me move last summer, "Mom, you have a lot of beautiful stuff and supplies to make more beautiful stuff. But your stuff-to-space ratio is off."

He's right about that. I've pretty much pared down to beautiful things that make me happy when I see and/or touch them, and if I have to rotate them through the living room, that's fine with me. I've told The Kid not to worry about it when I'm gone. Cherry-pick anything he likes and turn the rest over to an estate sale agent and a used book dealer, that's my advice.

[gingerK]

I'm not at the paring down stage yet, still working and not retired, and I love thrift stores! But it's not knicknacks or things I have to dust I'm after--I'm looking for things I can use in Angel. Now, the stuff I find at the roadside, however......that sometimes gets into the house, sometimes not. I'm definitely not a clothes horse or even much of a decorator (unless it has dogs, ducks or horses! lol) but I do routinely go through my clothes and other household things and give them away to the thrift store across the road from me. I take 'em a big box of stuff and ask them to empty it and give me the box back so I can refill it for 'em, and they are happy to do so. As with many of you, I too, am a reader but I find myself reading the books, then sending them right back to the thrift store. I have only a few very precious ones that I keep to read over and over.

[judi]

What I find really interesting is how many of us responded to this topic. It seems to be a universal theme.
I have a lot of ski gear - two pairs of skis (powder and all-mountain), clothes, boots, poles, helmets, goggles, gloves, hats, silk underwear, special socks, etc etc. I still ski a lot and I can't imagine ever getting rid of ski stuff. Skiing is a part of who I am. I think that when you get rid of this kind of stuff, you are giving up a part of your personal identity. If I don't ski, and I no longer go to work everyday as an architect, who the hell am I?

[gingerK]

What I find really interesting is how many of us responded to this topic. It seems to be a universal theme.
I have a lot of ski gear - two pairs of skis (powder and all-mountain), clothes, boots, poles, helmets, goggles, gloves, hats, silk underwear, special socks, etc etc. I still ski a lot and I can't imagine ever getting rid of ski stuff. Skiing is a part of who I am. I think that when you get rid of this kind of stuff, you are giving up a part of your personal identity. If I don't ski, and I no longer go to work everyday as an architect, who the hell am I?

I get this, Judi. I may not be to the paring down stage but I have let go of things I used to enjoy. I showed purebred rabbits for about 15 yrs., had all the equipment and went every weekend. Sometimes I would go to shows on both Saturday and Sunday, often in opposite directions. If it was within a certain amount of driving time, I hit it. It was a fun part of my life but one day it just wasn't as much fun anymore. Getting up extra early, driving, loading and unloading animals and cages, it just wasn't me. So I stopped doing it and found something else that I enjoyed. Yes, it was part of who I was, but I don't think I gave up my identity when I stopped doing it. It was just time to move on and do something else that also became a part of my life. Now the thing I began when I stopped showing is becoming something I'm also slowly giving up and I am moving on to camping in Angel now. I identify with all these things but none of them is all of "who I am." But all of them are a part of "who I am".

[Queen]

Judi - When I got hurt as a firefighter and my career ended all I could think was I'd lost a big part of who I was. Over time I found it it was a part of who "I used to be", just like being a scuba diver and a motorcyclist. All those things that defined me are gone, but I'm still the happy, mostly funny, somewhat goofy person I've always been, just with new interests.

One thing that was painful for me, however, was that I didn't choose to stop doing most things because I was tired of them, I had to stop because my beat up body wouldn't let me do them. That took some dealing with for sure.

[grammynmaggie]

I started to get rid of stuff over 6 years ago...after I retired and closed my store I was overwhelmed with "stuff" ... and I knew that I did not want to be tied down any more...I ask my kids if they wanted anything...mostly they did not...just a few things...so I started...yard sales..flea market selling...I researched the auction marked here and it was next to nothing...the only one that made any money was the auction house...I bet in those years I did over 100 yard sales and flea markets...and let me tell you it is a lot of very hard labor intensive work...but it all finally ended last Sept 2014....when the last yard sale was done ...the house was finished and a for sale sign was planted in the yard...as I read over all the reply that you all have been posting...I tried to think of why and how I feel the way I do about getting rid of everything...for some reason I just started feeling un-attached to things in my life...things I loved and cherished now i had no feeling at all for...and as of right now I still feel the same way...I am thinking that I might be the odd one out... wish I could figure out why I feel this way...any way that is how I felt and feel about purging..

[Bethers]

Judi - When I got hurt as a firefighter and my career ended all I could think was I'd lost a big part of who I was. Over time I found it it was a part of who "I used to be", just like being a scuba diver and a motorcyclist. All those things that defined me are gone, but I'm still the happy, mostly funny, somewhat goofy person I've always been, just with new interests.

One thing that was painful for me, however, was that I didn't choose to stop doing most things because I was tired of them, I had to stop because my beat up body wouldn't let me do them. That took some dealing with for sure.

Agree. I have learned that I'd rather not be defined by the things I have done - as things change and those things may not be with us any longer. Should we hold on too tightly to certain things defining us, and lose them, it can be crushing/devastating. It's the people this happens to and move on, like you have done, who are happier and live longer.

I seem to reinvent myself somewhat regularly ... although less so since I've been a fulltime rver and not defined as strongly with any job, etc. But my love of animals, well, I think that's always been with me and always will be, whatever happens.

[IrishIroamed]

I've been reading this topic with interest. I will have to down-size 3 different residences (Dad's house of 40 years, Mom's condo or 15+ years and my own house).

I've never been one of a collector or saver and have no problem tossing things. I think the only thing I plan on saving at this point are some watercolor horse paintings (6 total) that could be use in an RV. Everything else can go. I've actually started some things already (clothes, backyard furniture) but other things I'll ask cousins if they want something (gram's cedar chest & rocking chair). Since it's just me doing these 3 homes, charities will definitely benefit.

The things I've bought for Colt were with the assumption that if I do get an apartment or condo somewhere, they'll just be transferred when I may be too old to travel anymore.

[Rufflesgurl]

I think all the things I've done (ski, golf, tennis, bicycling, travel , gardening, etc. etc.) and will do are not who I am but what I've done and experienced. Nice to have those memories but nice to not have all the equipment, etc. that goes along with, the changes were made. There's lots of things that go along with RVing too.

Linda

[BarbaraRose]

The kindle is great for travelling, I don't have to bring 20 books with me! But it is always nice to actually hold a book and turn real pages

That is how I feel too. I have had to do a lot of downsizing over the past several years and have let go of a lot of things. I used to collect bear and moosey things. Now I just do moosey things since there are so many bear things and I had tons of them. Moosey things are a lot harder to find so I dont' have much of those ( I just collect whimsical mooses).

I hang on to things with sentimental value but I don't have a lot of those things either. Just a few small things of my moms. My books are probably the hardest things to part with. I like to reread them. I am not a fan of my Nook but use that for trips. I still can't believe I dragged 8-10 boxes of books with me out to California and back!! What was I thinking??

[Colliemom]

I too have "de-stuffed" over the years since my parents passed away. Sold a lot in garage sales, some to Goodwill and my parents crystal ware that they got for a wedding present, went to my cousin who said she would love to have it when I sent out emails to them saying I was getting rid of it. Had a huge china cabinet full of stuff, but was getting tired of having to clean it every year and I know that being an only child, when I am gone, it's going to either get tossed or given away anyway. So I am pared down to just what I am using now. I'm contemplating buying another house and I know some things I have here will not be going over there either if I do.

As to the done with list, tent camping is one of them too, kayaking, although it still does pull on me occasionally biking, boating, snowmobiling, etc. have gone the way of the wind. I really do enjoy walking and do a lot of that. So yes, like Wendy said, as we age, our wants and desires change and we find something new to occupy ourselves. I've had various hobbies that have come and gone as well.

[retiredhappy]

JoanE - the reason used furniture doesn't get high dollar is because new furniture has about a 300% markup to begin with. I just bought at a thrift store, a brand new sleeper loveseat for $40. I was told it came out of a big, fancy RV - the people wanted two recliner chairs so I got lucky. It now resides in my office/guest room.