It just keeps on coming....

[gingerK]

I understand about the possibility of needing the funds for ourselves. I was meaning if you had a particular item such as your earrings or in my case a pair of rings I no longer wore. I found it gave me comfort to give them to my nieces now, rather than have my son figure out what to do with them after I am gone. They aren't worth a lot, but I wanted someone to have them who would appreciate them.

[Redetotry]

I a so sorry this continues for you Kathy. Makes me wonder why your brother wants the money so much that would make him be such a mean spirited person. I'm sure your mother would be so sad if she knew what happened. I hope that you can find peace soon.
We both have wills etc but no children and none of my nieces/nephews are close to us so we each stated what we wanted done with personal belongings or monetary gifts to friends, and made each other the beneficiary of everything else. I do believe that someday your brother will find that money does not replace integrity or will be hurt terribly by someone close to him.

[bluepinecones]

Kathy I am so sorry these problems are still on-going. Do hope they are resolved soon.

[gingerK]

Hopefully this will all end very soon; yesterday I directed my attorney to tell that person and his attorney that I no longer have any interest in any of my Mother's personal property, that I will NOT be paying any of her final bills and that I am NOT giving that person half of the $10,000 I got from the account at the bank. It was rightfully mine. Since he's getting (or got) everything else I can't believe his gall at trying to bully me into giving him half of that money. Additionally, his attorney is withholding money from Mom's estate that is rightfully mine, in effect holding it "hostage" by refusing to release it to me until I pay "my half" of the funeral expenses. I have no idea how much money is there but I doubt it's more than the $10,000 they claim I owe them. Let them keep it, I can't keep going on with this I need to get past it. I have also told my attorney that any further communication must go through him. Any contact from those people I will consider harassment and act accordingly. Maybe now I can finally start to heal from the loss of my Mom.

[JudyJB]

Good for you! Now set your cell phone to block those phone numbers. I have had amazing peace and quiet since I did that with my brother.

[Bethers]

Totally understand and agree with your decision and also agree with Judy about blocking his calls.

[havingfunnow]

A clear and valid will is only effective if the executor is both honest and competent. My experience with my abominable brother makes me think that the law is fairly strict about provable dishonesty but very lenient about laziness and stupidity. As we're getting closer to settling my mother's estate (over three years -- and she'd put it all in trust so that it didn't have to go through probate!), I estimate I will recover about 1/10 of the money my brother stole, lost, and wasted.

Do whatever will make you feel calmer and stronger, Kathy. If that's walking away, so be it.