I just don't know what to feel

[avalen]

I was doing a google search yesterday, just a simple one, my own name, cause people
at work talk about it and you can see stuff pop up thats viewable to the public. Well
nothing pops up on me, except I found out there are a few famous people with my same
name, an actress and also an author. Nothing shows up for ME, so I type in my last
town where my van was registered, and up pops my ex husband, no surprise, he lives
there, but what surprised me was our property we had when we divorced, I had one
cabin and he had the other cabin, well I deeded my cabin back over to him some years
ago when I thought I'd go bankrupt and since it was free and clear he would have both
acres and if he ever sold he would kick me back the money. Well, he is remarried now
and the property went to tax lien sale in october, mine being 200 and his being 600, his
(cabin was bigger, with utilities) I could NOT believe he let that happen, but I do know
he has 4 years to pay up and claim it back. I emailed his daughter to ask about it, and
also emailed my daughter to tell her about it. Immediately my daughter emailed me
back and said LETS BUY IT MOM!! anyway, that part is complicated. I haven't heard
back from his daughter. So, today I finally bit the bullet and called him on his work
cell phone. Its really very hard for me to do that since he remarried as I still love him
but he was an alcoholic and I got tired of dealing with that. Anyway, I did talk to him
about the property, he said it was two years back taxes and he had paid up one year.
So he is just one year back taxes owed and trying to sell it. Bottom line is, he is down
to 3 years to claim it back as the person that bought it for back taxes isn't even allowed
to step foot on it for 3 more years. My cabin was free and clear but he had taken a
loan out on his, but my mind is just out of it over finding out this information. I don't
know WHAT to feel, I'm not angry, I'm not confused, I'm almost hurt I guess but not
really, I just don't know what I feel. It was my beloved piece of the mountain, just
one acre and a small cabin but the forest was beautiful and lush. His cabin also had
an acre. I did at one time say good buy to that land when I deeded it back to him but
somehow for it to go to tax lien auction, just doesn't set right in my head. I'm sending
off another email to my daughter, going to try to pay up the last year of the tax and
at least get it away from danger then maybe try to buy it. I could spend all summer
up there, the colorado mountains are just beautiful! I think what I feel maybe is
sadness, yea, I think thats it, sadness. (big sigh) Sorry this wasn't anything rv related
but I had to get this off my mind, it helps me deal. But it could be rv related, you can
park alot of rv's on two acres.

[Bethers]

Aw, Ava, big HUGS to you. That's got to be so hard.

I'll tell you this - think long and hard about this. Are you buying the property because you love it and will really want to use it - and when you use it you won't always be thinking about what could have been? Or are you buying it because you are thinking of what could have been?

When my ex and I divorced, I had to sell the piece of property we had that was going to be for my summer retirement home. I had all the plans for the home, etc. It was really hard to sell - and the people who bought it put a terrible house on it - and have since sold. I thought about purchasing it back, but realized much of it would always be tied up in my mind with my ex and I didn't want that.

So, if it's right for you and your daughter, go for it, as finding this out might be an omen for you to do so. But think hard about it - cuz this could be a long drawn out affair, and you could put out money and he ends up with the property again. Only you know how you really feel and how you'll most likely feel down the road.

Again, though, you need lots and lots of hugs while you think about it all - and decide what action to take.

[Cedar518]

Ava,
You don't know how you feel,... and i don't know what to say,.... but I am here and sending you a hug. All the stuff that gets tied up in our emotions with "X" husbands is so tough. I know. Been there, done that. What Beth said makes sense,... so think a long time and don't do something that might bring you more heartache.

re: not being rv related,... well, hey,... we're all "sisters"...right? so it's perfectly ok with me to post it here!

Hang in there,....

[retiredhappy]

Stuff here doesn't always have to be RV related - we're all sisters on this forum and thus pull for each other during good times and bad. Beth gave some good advise. To be sure you don't lose any money you and your daughter put out, you really need to talk to an attorney who specializes in property and taxes. Please keep us posted on what you decide or if you need to unload again. Hugs to you.

[NakedPupsAndMe]

I won't even begin to give you advice, but when I'm in a situation where I'm not sure how I feel, I ask myself, "What are my motives?" Why do I want to do this & I try to be as honest as I can with myself. I have the "grass is always greener" syndrome. So I have to keep that in mind when questioning my motives. Good luck, no matter what you decide.

[Gentleladybear]

A question about your situation. You indicated he had taken a loan out on the cabin you want after you had it paid off? Is that loan in default? Can you get it out of that situation? Usually people don't let it go for taxes and keep the loan up.

I was in a similiar situation, my ex demanded a condo in the mountains we had. I let him have it, he didn't pay the fees and they repoed it. The manager there called me and asked me if I wanted it, as he never felt it was fair that my ex did that. I bought it, and love going up there.

But bottom line, if it is just the taxes, that is one situation and easier decision to make, I would buy it. BUT if it involves an unpaid loan, find out if you want to pay that amount again, and what or if you can get control of the loan.

But if all the financial things fall into place, and you want it, can handle the finances, then I would take it back.

Nan

[avalen]

with all your helpful comments I have been able to think this through after getting
past the emotional part. He does have a loan on the bigger cabin but has kept that
up, he was two years past due on the taxes, paid one year and getting ready to
pay the next one. He doesn't plan on letting it go but is going to put it back on
the market for assumption of the loan or he is also asking a flat 110,000, its
appraised at 200,000. The small cabin (used to be mine) was free and clear but
somehow when he redid the loan the bank sneakily attached it to the loan. On
the county records they still are two seperate pieces of property. So, the bottom
line is, he isn't going to let them go and IF he ever sells he will kick me some
of the money, I don't want much but enough to make a difference in my life would
be nice. I don't hold my breath, the market is bad as we all know and the county
requires the septic be put in and the outhouse gone. Although it would be nice to
have a place to go every summer, I can do that in a motorhome and go many places.
So my dream remains the same........buy the motorhome! If he sells it and my old
cabin becomes available for him to deed it back to me, I can accept that too and still
buy the motorhome. Wish I had pictures of it though on my computer but all my pictures
are in storage on paper and I have no scanner. The cabin is old log cabin built in 1941
with logs from the property. Two bedrooms and a great room, kitchen, dining and a
bathroom. The bathroom we never connected as we hadn't put in the septic yet at
the time of the divorce.
Anyway, thank you ladies for your input to help me clear the cobwebs of my mind on
this matter.
I'm still a happy women with a dream!

[retiredhappy]

good for you, sounds like you worked your way through a difficult problem. Sometimes its so difficult to see if we're operating on emotion or practicality. Hope to see you on the road someday.

[khenrie]

first of all - BIG HUGS

secondly... can't imagine being able to buy 2 acres with two cabins on it for 200k in Colorado! Almost temps me to make an offer lol

I think you have a good attitude about it. No real expectations, just good intentions.

[Redetotry]

Just wanted to drop in and give you a big hug, I've been thinking about you Ava. So glad to hear you are feeling better.

[Bethers]

I'm glad that you're feeling better about the whole thing. I'll tell ya, I've been divorced since 1996, and I still would really like to kick my ex in the butt sometimes when I think of what happened to some of our properties Getting the money he owes me would be nice, too LOL - but that's most likely a pipe dream.

That said, I agree - hugs to you - and hug yourself - you deserve it.