My Scare..

[grammynmaggie]

Thought I would follow up on my scare the other day…in the middle of the night …I woke up with what I thought could be a stroke of some sort (this was Sat after the cleaning of the rig)but it was not.. in 03.. I was in an auto accident had a first lumbar vertebra fracture..that has been a problem for me ever since…at first it left me with problems… and nerve damage in my spine..that has gotten worse with age…and the result of my problem the other night…on Friday I washed the rig..took me 4 hrs.…and that is something I should not of done… it caused this problem …I have to wake up and realize I can not do what I use to do… I am going to be getting a doctor this week … to re-evaluate this spinal nerve problem..it has gotten worse…and this episode put the icing on the cake so to speak…I did a check and had no other stroke symptoms including blood pressure was fine so not to worry… Well this episode brought on a whole new set of problems..mainly concerning my dad and I being here in Florida all alone…isolated from family that could help us in an emergency…..no friends here…not like you friends... that if I were camping…or GTG… with you guys I know that I would have help ..as well as I would be helping any of you all… I can not find any friends like you all..not even the church ladies I have met…you all are really something special…don’t know if you know it or not… Maggie is a big concern for me also dad already told me he could not care for her….when I had the bought with diverticulitis ..he hoped I didn’t have to go to the hospital cause he didn’t know what he would or could do with Maggie (he could just wouldn't )…anyway..this thing with my dad brings up a VERY LARGE other problems with my dad…that is dragging me down….in his old age he seems to have turned into a child and doesn’t want to do anything…not that he cant he just doesn’t …he wants to have everything done for him..any way I will not get in to that now..except to say it is really dragging me down…which is not good..well that is my rant…have a fun filled day and be safe…donna

[Pooker]

Oh, Donna, I'm so sorry you have all that pain along with the mental pain and worry. The hardest thing for us to face as we get old is not being able to do the things we used to do. I always figured I wouldn't get weak and feeble like those I've seen over the years. Ha! It's also hard that we feel we're alone even though we may be surrounded by others. Strangers often come out of nowhere to help in our times of need, so be assured that if you need one, an earth angel will find you. I hope your Dad will realize that he can't always be waited on or always have his way, but it sounds like perhaps he has some dementia?

Anyway, hope your day gets better.

Pooker

[Irmi]

Donna, I am so sorry for everything you are going through. Having been a caregiver for my parents, I know how tough and exhausting it is. My father, too, relied on me and others to do almost everything for him. But fortunately, I was not his only caregiver and was given periodic breaks. I can't imagine doing that alone 24/7. Stress alone can do things to your body, but in the mean time, get yourself checked by a doctor to see what's going on with you. (((Donna)))

[SoCalGalcas]

Donna, I understand what you are talking about. The ladies on this forum are angels. I too am surprised/shocked at how weak I am getting as I am aging. I always was strong and could walk miles.
I am hoping things get better for you as the days go by...lyn

[gingerK]

Donna, I'm sorry you had this scare too and are feeling low but maybe it is a kind of wake up call: you need to find some kind of help with your Dad, otherwise you will get yourself sick and then where will you both be? One of my good friends recently had to make the decision to find a facility to accept her Mom who is getting worse and worse with dementia. It was a hard and painful decision for my friend but caring for her Mom nearly 24/7 (she did have one brother who helped; none of her other family would) was taking it's toll on her own health. I know she still struggles with this but I try to support her and help her see it was probably the best and only way to go. I know there are agencies that can provide caregivers, my friend Daun has had to get them in to help her with her brother who has dementia. Could you speak with your Dad's doctor about possibly getting someone to help out? I know he (your Dad) probably won't like it but I'm afraid for your health's sake you really need someone to spell you. I can ask Daun who she got in if you would like. It may be they also operate in the state where you and your Dad are.

[BarbaraRose]

Donna, sorry you had such a scare the other night and are having issues with your dad, too. I know how that goes. Who was looking after him when you were in PA? Maybe he just relies on you so much because you are right there with him now and he knows you will take care of everything. Outside help occasionally, would take some pressure off you too, if he would be willing to accept it (my dad won't).

You need to take care of yourself first tho, or you won't be any good to him either. Part of that is setting boundaries and limits with your dad as well.

Check with dog shelters around there who might know of foster homes that would take Maggie in for awhile if something happens to you. There might even be one that only takes her breed.

Take a deep breath and deal with one thing at a time. Sometimes when we get a scare like that, we get overwhelmed with all the other little worries we throw in with it.

Good luck and keep us informed!

[JudyJB]

A lot of us have gone through problems with aging parents. It may be that he really does not know what to do, possibly because of the first stages of dementia that may not show up in other ways. Do you have siblings? If so, maybe they can take him or be responsible for him for a month or two--just enough for you to get back to feeling better. If not, maybe you can try elder daycare or some other respite care.

The others are right that your dad will not like these plans, but you have to take care of yourself.

[Bethers]

Oh, Donna, big hugs to you. Then check into whether there are any services that could take part of the load off you. You can't do it all, even if you were much younger. And that's really hard for us to accept with our parents.

[snowball]

so sorry to hear that you have worries...it is tough seeing our family members get frail
I see it in my mom and know that there will probably come a day that I will need to help my mom
she is 88 at home still and taking care of an infant so hopefully it will be awhile
I think everyone has offered some good ideas...now to execute them that is the hard part
good luck my friend
sheila