Research Your Donations, please

[retiredhappy]

Oh CarolB, I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings. My comments were general and NOT directed specifically at you. I had recently seen a news story on "charities" and how badly some of their monies were distributed so it was at the forefront of my mind. It also makes me mad to see how much some company executives are paid when their employees don't even make a living wage. I hope you forgive me, I had NO intention of hurting you.

[carolb]

What to say? Not in a frame of mind to be here, but dear, supportive Irmi alerted me to what has transpired since I posted this a.m.... Thought I'd better step in before it gets carried away...

Apologies so appreciated, even though I feel assured no one meant to "hurt" me. Yes, I can be overly sensitive, especially having just been kicked around by my biological family

I guess my last words were what I wanted y'all to hear--remember to be respectful. Karen, mentioning "someone posted" obviously means it was one of us, your forum family. You had wisdom to impart, having just seen a news story? So maybe no need to point out one of the family's "poor choice"?

We don't always know what's in "someone"s mind or heart. "Someone posted a good recipe"--hooray! "Someone posted she'd read a good book"--hooray! "Someone posted she has compassion for animals"--hooray??? Guess that was overlooked, & the conversation went right to "bad decisions about donating"

Hope I haven't made this any worse . Thanks for your PM Kathy--easy to jump on the bandwagon

[carolb]

Crikey, that's not right, Kathy. Not bandwagon! I DO realize y'all were sharing experiences What I mean to say is I understand that we don't always fully read posts before posting a reply. Not "blaming" anyone for missing the unintentional innuendo that one of us (me) was judged as making a poor choice. Crikey crikey crikey I'm making this worse??? !!!!

[gingerK]

No, Carol, not making it worse by any means. Something I've learned about forums is that sometimes what's posted, however phrased, can sometimes be taken in a different way simply because it lacks the human element of seeing each others' faces and hearing the inflection and tone in which it is stated. I also find this is true on FaceBook. There are things posted there that just make me wonder what the poster was getting at! I know I didn't set out to upset anyone with my posts here and certainly don't think any of us is "stupid"; far from it, you ladies are some of the nicest, most intelligent gals it's ever been my pleasure to meet.

(and p.s. my biological family makes me crazy, too!)

[Bethers]

Aww, no one should be hurt here, especially over giving. I know I've given money places or to people on the street that probably weren't legit. If that means I get taken, I'll be happy to keep being taken. I just am more cautious now with organizations because I expect better of them and am sorely disappointed that most of the extremely large ones are disappointing. When I think of all my donations to Goodwill over the years, it makes me cry.

After taking about humane groups to a co-worker the other day, I re-looked into the ASPCA and while I'll continue with others, they aren't the disaster that HSUS is.

Chit, just came on to say no one is trying or meaning to hurt anyone. I, for one, never put Karen's post and your mention in another thread together.

[SoCalGalcas]

OK Beth, tell me about Goodwill. Lyn

[Bethers]

Here's an article: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6017214

[BarbaraRose]

I also research any charities before I donate. When my mom was in the nursing home, they had a Christmas Tree with tags on it, for those who didn't have any family that visited them. I used to take several of the tags, which usually just listed "socks, blanket, slippers, calendar, etc", and get those things. Not much to spend out of my pocket but meant the world for someone who otherwise had nothing to open for Christmas. I usually threw in something else a little special too.

Just found out my dad has been writing checks to anyone and everyone who claims to be a charity and sending him requests for donations. I added up all the checks (30 of them) that he wrote over the past 4 weeks and it came to over $400! We need to talk....

[carolb]

Y'all are too kind...I apologize for my ultra-sensitivity. I too know I've been taken when donating to many different organizations/individuals. But I never feel bad about it--those of us who give are blessed, even if those we give too misuse/abuse the gift....off to MC to greet my forum family

[Acadianmom]

I have gotten so suspicious of most of these places that want donations. I was in a specialty meat market getting a stuffed chicken for Christmas one year and a woman was in there getting $78 dollars of meat and paying with food stamps. This place's food is at least double what you would pay at a grocery store. Do you think these people really need food stamps? Someone walking around with a $500 cell phone and paying with food stamps. I know there are people that need help but I think there are many that don't. Every year there are school drives for supplies. I heard one woman say she didn't buy that stuff, the school would give it to them.

We use to be pestered all the time by an organization that supposedly helped the police. Our sherif said this place doesn't help them.

I guess I'm getting crabby in my old age.

Martha

[Liz]

I prefer to make my giving one-on-one when I see a need. As an example....a women at the cg in McIntosh cares for 4 rescued dogs, although she struggles to meet her own needs. Last week she knew she needed to have one old dog put down....it could no longer stand and walk. She doesn't have a car so I offered to take her and the dog to the vet. While there I tried to pay the bill for her too, but found out that her former employer had already taken care of that...there are compassionate givers everywhere. Anyway, it's times like these that I will give and absolutely know where my giving is going. Other times I give and don't know for sure, but as Carolb said, the blessing is mine all the same.

[Bethers]

Martha, some times people really scare me. There's a woman on a womens rv group on FB. She posted on someone's post last night who had shown a less expensive tt on Craigslist and said, well, it might be good at that price, but can't beat mine, free. Someone asked how she got a free rig and she said she "asked for it". She tells people she's homeless and "asks for what she needs". I couldn't help but go to her FB page and see that she's now asking if anyone wants to DONATE a piece of land to her so that she can move the tt onto it. And by everyone helping her like this, she can get out of being homeless. I had to ask on the post how can she still call herself homeless when she now has her free tt? I didn't ask about why she wasn't offering to work for these people - in any way, shape or form, to pay for what she's getting.

Liz, thank you for helping the way you did - that's the way I remember things being before it became government assistance. We helped our neighbors. Now, the last house I lived in, I didn't ever get to know my neighbors. Sad.