Stressed?

[mtngal]

Oh sorry you have this going on Ava! Good, though, that you have your plan in place and will be better able to let this all go, soon! Bet you will be spending your spring break doing more prep work!

[Excel]

Just want to add a little info on a somewhat similar situation with my Grandson. I co-signed on a loan so he could buy a SUV (used). He decided to sell it after a while & did sell it to some guy. However, he didn't go to DMV to have title transferred as the guy said he would do it. Well, he didn't. Ryan started getting the DMV notices that it needed renewal paid... then tickets were added to it for parking & not paying tolls... So Ryan called DMV & told them he had sold it... but somewhere the paperwork was lost or something, so Ryan had no name or info on the buyer. DMV said Ryan should pay the fees as the title is in his name... this has gone on for 8 or 9 yrs. now. Finally, because my name is on title also, I called DMV explained situation... well, guess what.. they don't care & this will go on until buyer transfers title. It seems that he goes in each year, pays cash for his tags & whatever added costs are included & gets the renewal tags. So I said why doesn't DMV make him prove he owns vehicle... because they don't care who owns it as long as they get their money... So, my advice to one & all.... never, ever sell anything, car, truck, RV, etc. without going to the DMV with your buyer & making absolutely sure that the sale/transfer is made.. otherwise you could really be sorry. The only consolation I have is that (being as I'm on title), if this person ever has an accident or hurts someone, after all this time & the evidence of our numerous (Ryan's & mine) calls to DMV which are all on record, a court of law would not come after me.... It is a nightmare however, and there is nothing I can do to change it.... Take heed !

[BarbaraRose]

Ava, I am so sorry to hear about more issues with son and crazy girlfriend! If I had extra money, I would help you get into your 5er ASAP! You need to let him sink or swim! You certainly can't take any chances with your drivers license which would also jeopardize your job.

I sold a car once to a "nice college girl" and ended up with a ton of parking tickets. Luckily, I was able to get out of paying them and gave her a call telling her to get the title transferred ASAP, which apparently she finally took care of.

For all the nice things you do for others and going out of your way to help people, you surely don't deserve this! Try to spend some time away from home when you can, just walking in a park somewhere or doing something enjoyable (and free) to unwind and de-stress. In other words, take care of yourself until you can get out of there once and for all! (((hugs))))

[skeedaddle]

geez...you weren't just whistling dixie when you said this is stressful...this is really bad for your health hun...i hope it gets resolved fast..I'll be hoping for you.

[avalen]

Just want to add a little info on a somewhat similar situation with my Grandson. I co-signed on a loan so he could buy a SUV (used). He decided to sell it after a while & did sell it to some guy. However, he didn't go to DMV to have title transferred as the guy said he would do it. Well, he didn't. Ryan started getting the DMV notices that it needed renewal paid... then tickets were added to it for parking & not paying tolls... So Ryan called DMV & told them he had sold it... but somewhere the paperwork was lost or something, so Ryan had no name or info on the buyer. DMV said Ryan should pay the fees as the title is in his name... this has gone on for 8 or 9 yrs. now. Finally, because my name is on title also, I called DMV explained situation... well, guess what.. they don't care & this will go on until buyer transfers title. It seems that he goes in each year, pays cash for his tags & whatever added costs are included & gets the renewal tags. So I said why doesn't DMV make him prove he owns vehicle... because they don't care who owns it as long as they get their money... So, my advice to one & all.... never, ever sell anything, car, truck, RV, etc. without going to the DMV with your buyer & making absolutely sure that the sale/transfer is made.. otherwise you could really be sorry. The only consolation I have is that (being as I'm on title), if this person ever has an accident or hurts someone, after all this time & the evidence of our numerous (Ryan's & mine) calls to DMV which are all on record, a court of law would not come after me.... It is a nightmare however, and there is nothing I can do to change it.... Take heed !

wow, what a lesson we both learned, and of course in my situation my son kept saying "I'll get it done, mom, I'll get it done"

[Bethers]

Something that can help us a bill of sale with all pertinent info on it. Just don't lose it.

I had a case of purchasing my scooter and discovering the sellers had never properly titled it. They thought they could skip that and I could do the original title. Took some doing, but I got them to spend the necessary money and take care of it. Meantime I couldn't license or use the scooter.

[JudyJB]

I learned three important things long ago after experiences with my brother:

1) No matter who you sell or give a car to, go with them while they get the title put in their name. No exceptions. And never put your name on the title of anything for any reason, unless it is yours and you are taking it with you.
2) Never "sell" anything to anyone without a full cash payment. Cash, not check, not money order, not anything else. No exceptions to this one also.
3) If a person wants to get out of a problem situation, they will have to do it themselves. No matter how well-meaning you are and no matter how sad the story is, you cannot do it for them.

Good luck from someone who has been there a long time ago and won't be there again.

[gingerK]

Yes, I agree with Nan. Let him learn to take care of his own problems. He is a grown up so he needs to be responsible. Sorry you are so stressed out.

Excel: could you reposess the car since it's still in your name?

[snowball]

(((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) a lope sided hug
take care Ava and just look forward to the future
sheila

[havingfunnow]

Oh, Ava, I'm so sorry there's such a mess! That's miserable! I'm so glad you'll be in your own place soon.

I once had the same problem with giving my brother a car. Never again!

[retiredhappy]

A seller can file a form with DMV saying they sold a vehicle BUT you do need the name, address of the buyer. If you are going to sell a vehicle go to DMV and get the form. NEVER trust a buyer to register it and always do a bill of sale, just any piece of paper with the car's vin number, the buyer's name and address, amount of purchase and date.

AVA, its sad that some kids these days, no matter how they were raised, are so irresponsible and untrustworthy. Its time he grew up and stops dumping all his stuff on you. You're right that its time for tough love - stop helping him and let him take responsibility for his own life. You have the absolute right to live your own life stress free. Take care of yourself first.

[dpf]

Ava…if I were independently wealthy, I would have sent you money and you would have been out of that situation a long time ago. You have to stop enabling him. As much as we love our children we have to allow them to solve their own problems. In this case his poor decision making is affecting your health and your livelihood. Once this is straighten out and you have moved, completely wash your hands of his problems. You don’t need to sever your ties with him, but you don’t need to bail him out of his self-induced troubles. Have you ever thought that he knows that you have that stash that you have been saving so you can move back into your own place and thinks that it could be used to cover his ass?

[avalen]

I WAS planning on letting him just loose his car, however...the fact that its still in my name means I'm responsible for "abandoned" vehicle
if he doesn't have the funds (which he doesn't) to get the car out. If I pay the rent like I'm suppose to he'll just use that money but the
state won't turn it over to him anyway cause he didn't make it "his" yet. Thats why I'm using the rent money to get the car out, cause I
would prefer not to be billed by the state a $500 fee, and in this state, Arizona doesn't wait for their money, they just take it when they
want to if they know you have a job.

[chalet05]

In Washington the seller is required to report the sale.

[Excel]

To answer above posts. GingerK.... I would definitely repossess it if I knew where it was... but there are no files or information regarding this guy... no name, address, phone #, etc. My Grandson has moved several times over the years & has lost this info... that's the problem. If we had something to go on I'd be 'going'.... It is absolutely a seller's responsibility to get title & registration taken care of by going to DMV with buyer... Ryan didn't do that & I wasn't around to see that it got done. He is a nice Christian young man & just too, too trusting, but I think he definitely learned his lesson (& so did I)... will never co-sign for anyone again. Obviously I learned my lesson too... Just posted all of this saga so it would maybe help someone else. BTW, Ryan did notify the DMV after the sale, but DMV said the form did not include the Buyer info so it was not acceptable...