Senior Living after RVing

[Redetotry]

This is a subject that haunts me regularly. Took care of aging relatives in various scenarios. Similar to those shared in this thread so far. I like the idea of going quick and while doing something you love. But, like also expressed on the thread, we don't get to choose our final exit. All we can do is live the best we can with what we've got until our name is called home.

Since the first posting of this subject I've been looking around online. A little Serendipity !? I was looking at adds and saw this one. This could be fun for several RVers.

Own your Texas Hill Country “winter site” or Home Base with plenty of parking and storage area.

FOR SALE: 1.1 acre, level RV lot in Texas Hill Country gated sub-division. Fully developed with electric, city water, and conventional septic system. Elevation 1377 feet. Four RV sites with Full hook ups and a 2 story cabin and a separate workshop.

http://www.rvnetwork.com/index.php?showtopic=104538

Wow Red that acreage sounds great and the price sounds reasonable if the out buildings and cabins are in good shape. I couldn't go on to the other link though for more information.

[Bethers]

I love TX Hill Country and that does look good - but I don't love it in the winter lol I looked at all the pics and that price seems more than reasonable for me. I wonder why it hasn't sold in all the time he's had it for sale?

[WickedLady]

Maybe it is a Homeowners Assoc. type of place with all kinds of rules and regulations plus a yearly maintenance cost.

[cnq50b]

Thanks, Red. You may have found our new home I'm with the others, what could be wrong with it? Of course 4 sites & the cabin all on 1 acre might be a little cramped. Possibly a scouting trip is in order.

I stayed at a very nice RV park going down I-5 this past year - Mountain Gate RV Park in CA. It was so nice, I could easily see someone staying there long term. A little too pricey for long term, but surely there are others equally as nice which don't cost as much.

I'm all for the WomenRV senior living campground. We would have a blast & with all the compassion I've witnessed in this group, I know we'll be there for each other when needed.

As each person travels, if we could identify 2 or 3 reasonably priced campgrounds in different places in the country which we could 'claim' as potential homesites, then we work out how we can reserve some WomenRV sites there. Oh my , I've just described a long-term GTG! What fun would that be!!!!

[JoanE]

Failing to plan can have dire consequences. Dealing with my exDH is really my first experience with an elderly person since my parents died so young. Art was a big, vibrant, physical man. He skied all over Europe, Canada and the US. He played basketball into his 50s. He worked out at the gym. He quit smoking and drank little alcohol. Today he is frail, thin, weak and has cognitive issues. He cannot successfully live alone. I watch him struggle with the seatbelt, opening a container of milk, holding a pen, writing his name. His struggles frustrate him and he lashes out in anger. I now look at everything through his eyes and see how our world is not ready for elderly boomers.

Art's deficiencies did not occur overnight but they did come on fairly rapidly. He has heart failure and was just told he has a life expectancy of about 5 years. His mind is still sharp most of the time but when it lapses, the change is significant. He doesn't realize it though. He thinks it is the rest of us who are crazy.

Fortunately for Art, his son pushed him to buy the LTC policy. Art never intended to need it. Of course, he assumed I would take care of him, if necessary, since he also didn't foresee our divorce. The point I am making here is that hoping and wishing your demise comes quickly or while you sleep is not practical. Modern medicine can keep us alive and living miserable lives for a long time. My friend who fell from a ladder is still in a nursing home, unable to breathe on his own, unable to speak. He is living his worst nightmare. Because he is on Medicaid, he must be in a facility far from his daughter. It is a hardship on her to make that trip and hard on him that visits are few.

Now for a funny story. Art and I visited Comcast today to arrange for upgraded cable in his new apt. The wait was tedious. Clerks kept leaving the counter for breaks, there was a shrieking child seated behind us and a general grumbling among the numerous waiting customers. When our number was finally called, Art vented his frustration to our young lady. He then asked her to repeat eveything she said since he cannot hear well and I would finally have to repeat it all once again. His voice was quite loud during all of this intercourse and his frustration was mounting. Finally he turned to me and said for all to hear, "I thought you said that drug you told me to take would calm me down!" Our young lady burst out laughing.

It was funny and later Art laughed when I recounted it for him, but it is also sad that we begin to lose all we have acquired in life. When I was younger and around horses all the time, I would laugh and say I hoped a swift kick in the head would be my last moment. Now I make plans. My friend has my medical POA and knows I do not want to be kept alive. I've removed that burden from my children. I have a LTC policy and will amend it in light of my new education on LTC.

Not long ago I started a thread on shared housing. The majority opinion seemed negative which surprised me. It is one option that I am exploring. It has nothing to do with being "lonely" and everything to do with a supportive community.

[cnq50b]

JoanE,

You highlighted the reality of aging. We definitely can't expect things to end as we wish they would. Having a plan or at least an idea of what you want to do helps when the time comes to make critical decisions.

At one point in Mom's hospitalization, I wondered when do they stop? when do they let the inevitable happen? how long must she & we suffer just because it is possible to keep the heart pumping? thankfully hospice stepped in for her & helped smooth the way for all of us. It made us all realize the need to document our desires in this situation. She had & it took the matter out of our hands.

Your ex is so lucky to have you to help him transition into this next phase of his life. So sorry that his kids are that interested in his situation.

I do remember the co-housing thread. Finding the right person/people to share housing with would be the key. It might be the permanence of that situation is a little more scary than the campground concept - which retains more of our independence as long as possible.Of course it also might be the permanence of that situation which will be appealing to others. Even with all of this senior RV cg talk, it doesn't ensure 1) we would all get along, 2) that enough able-bodied persons would be there 24/7.

In the end, we each need to consider what will be a secure & safe setting for our later years when we can't take care of ourselves. Each person is different & each person's needs will be different. You bring up excellent points.

[sharon]

This thread reminded me of this TED talk. I watched it awhile ago.

http://www.ted.com/talks/judy_macdonald ... _life.html

That was awesome! Thanks

[sharon]

Not long ago I started a thread on shared housing. The majority opinion seemed negative which surprised me. It is one option that I am exploring. It has nothing to do with being "lonely" and everything to do with a supportive community.

I kind of remember that thread...I think it's a great idea, just not sure it would work for several elderly women. I think those women were younger and still working. I could be wrong, my memory is bad...

[Bethers]

I don't have family to be near. I don't want to live out my days in a LTC facility or nursing home, but that might be the reality of it, I know. I can't stop it from happening if my life is prolonged in a way I surely hope won't happen. I'd much rather have an assisted suicide than live in EITHER place. So I'll leave most of the things that everyone feels I should be doing to fate. I will and do keep my living will up-to-date. In fact, it's probably time to do one again.

Unlike many of you, I have no children and no family to worry about. Then again, I don't (and never did) feel parents have to "leave" anything to their children. I remember my sis and me telling our mom to spend it all, that she couldn't take it with her. Instead she was so afraid she'd be a burden on us, that she wouldn't spend and when the decline came, it all went to the nursing home, etc until Medicaid. I'd rather Medicaid kick in sooner, and my money be gone lol, but like my Mom don't touch my actual savings (mainly because I hope to live a long time and will need it eventually).

And while I'd like to be cremated, and have that written - in actual fact, I'd be okay with being thrown in a pauper's grave ... as we are no longer in our bodies, anyway.

[BirdbyBird]

It wouldn't work as well if one is living in an RV and still traveling all over....but both my dad and step mother had arranged to have their body bequeathed to U of Cincinnati Med School. The only bill I paid was the Funeral home cost to pick up the body from, in my dad's case, the nursing home and in my step mother's, the hospital and deliver the body to the med school during operating hours. I got a letter notifying me when the bodies had been cremated and the ashes were ready to be picked up. I got my dad's and my brother and I spread them various places we remember him enjoying. My step sister is making arrangements to have her mother's ashes interred with her grandparents.... But all that is on her.

The Med School will pay to ship the ashes where ever you want them at their cost or they offer to bury the ashes in a communal grave with a communal sort of memorial service which they hold once a year.....at no cost to the family.

They may have some sort of agreement with other med school but they of course can't guarantee the body would be accepted at other schools if you are out of town when you die.

(My daughter did discuss end of life with me once....she said that she would help me travel to Europe where assisted suicide was more acceptable... She is a good daughter.... )

She also promised to bring me the pudding I liked and a dog to visit me if I were in a home....but that her brother would have to foot any facility cost since she is an educator and won't be able to afford it.

[Redwahine]

(My daughter did discuss end of life with me once....she said that she would help me travel to Europe where assisted suicide was more acceptable... She is a good daughter....

I don't want to start a discussion on euthanasia. However, every time I've held a pet that could no longer enjoy life as the vet helped them depart for the rainbow bridge, I always ask, " why can't it be this humane for humans?"

Another note. If you don't have family and have a limited income Hawaii is one of the better places for senior housing. They have tons of free human services and wonderful subsidized housing. For example, for over age 62, income less than $41,000 gets you a one bedroom, one bath apt that includes electric, sewer, wifi, pool, bus transportation, etc. for $845 mo. But if you are not a senior and have a larger income the same set up would coat $2,900. When I can no longer travel, that is where I plan to settle.

[WickedLady]

Unlike many of you, I have no children and no family to worry about. And while I'd like to be cremated, in actual fact, I'd be okay with being thrown in a pauper's grave ... as we are no longer in our bodies, anyway.

My situation and thoughts exactly.

[Cougarfan]

On October 27, 1997 Oregon enacted the Death with Dignity Act which allows terminally-ill Oregonians to end their lives through the voluntary self-administration of lethal medications, expressly prescribed by a physician for that purpose.

There are some hoops to jump through for the physician to prescribe the lethal medications. I don't know the statistics on how many people have taken advantage of this option, but we have the option. Would I use it? I dunno....maybe. It would all depend on how sick I was and how miserable my quality of life was due to the illness.

Laura

[Yakn1]

I just may have to take a drive tomorrow to the hill country and check out that property!

[Rufflesgurl]

When real reality sets in - during and after the RV community campgrounds and/or communal living, who's going to change the diapers????? Just thought I would throw that in. I'm pretty sure a fellow RV person or roommate wouldn't want to do that or other necessary things.

Linda