Senior Living after RVing

[Readytogo]

I like the Blue Marlin idea myself. I heard some people on tv once saying it was cheaper to stay on a cruise ship than a retirement home! I have often wondered about this issue with full tome rvers. I know a lot of you would be content to just park the rv somewhere but Id want something a little more comfortable

[etexlady]

This has been on my mind lately also. No children. No family living nearby and those that are even in the same state are older than I and are doing well to take care of themselves. I realized last Fall when I had my knee scoped that I needed to give a little more thought to my "golden" years. Thankfully, my neighbor is a real gem and insisted on helping me after the knee surgery. She carted me around to PT, grocery store, etc. until I was released to drive again. But, I really would not expect or ask her to do more than that.

[JudyJB]

Do be VERY careful about putting your house or other property into your children's names. The reason for doing so is so that the government won't take it if you have to go into a Medicaid nursing home, but you really do not want to have to go on Medicaid unless you are desperate. I went through looking for one for my mother in her last months, and I can tell you there are hard to find and seldom as "nice" as regular nursing homes. Check around in your area to see what nursing homes accept Medicaid and which do not--you might be surprised.

Also, if your child divorces or passes away, your property will be part of their estate, even if you are still alive. That means a spouse or child may end up with it, and that person may not be willing to give any of it back to you if you need it or help care for you. Ditto for their being involved in a lawsuit that would attach all their property.

The cost of the kind of senior living facility Judi describes varies greatly depending on where you live. My mother paid about $2,700 a month for something similar, but she also had medical costs and some personal costs. I ended up spending all of the money that came from the sale of our cottage (that was in my name as well for many years) on her care there for 6 years and in the Memory Care Center she lived in for 3 years at a cost of $6,000 per month. The difference between the private memory care facility and a nursing home was a private room and a lot, lot better care. She eventually ran out of money and ended up in the nursing home and then passed away 6 weeks later on hospice care.

Note: even in the beautiful, luxurious senior living facility she was paying a lot of money for, she was sexually harassed by one old man and grabbed and kissed forcibly by another old guy. My mother had never even been out on a date by anyone but my father so she was terrified and had to be escorted through the halls for several months! I was furious.

[JudyJB]

PS. You will really want to be able to use the proceeds from a sale from any property you have to give you a better quality of life when you are incapacitated. Giving it to children might be a solution if you have something that is a family heirloom, so to speak, and better then to have your kids buy it from you. You can sell it within a period of time before you go on Medicaid anyway, if you really want to go on Medicaid, which I never, ever want to do because most of the places I saw that accept it are so bad.

If you are in your 50s and have no kids, you should consider long-term care insurance. That will pay for in-home care and assisted living, which is much better than a nursing home.

[BarbaraRose]

Many nursing facilities (around here anyways) have to allow a certain number of Medicaid patients in. My mom was at the nursing home next door to where I live now (where my dad was a few months ago) and it is a very nice, well maintained place with wonderful personnel and care. I have checked into other places nearby to see which ones will accept Medicaid and they all seem nice and have good reputations. I know there are bad ones out there (my grandma was in one) and you do have to be careful and do your homework. Word of mouth is a good way to find the better ones and weed out the bad ones.

[Excel]

Thank you Liz, for following up on my post. Lots of responses & was surprised that there are others in somewhat the same situation as I am. I had heard of the Escapees senior living arrangement, but I do not belong to that group. For reasons unknown in my conscience mind, I would rather stay in CA if I can afford it. This has been my home state since 1959 & I have no relatives (to my knowledge) in Chicago anymore. My family here is dysfunctional & it's always an up & down, mostly down, routine. I'm smart enough to realize that not only do I not want to be a burden to any of them, I would not be happy walking on eggshells every minute in order to get along each day. As far as living in my RV somewhere with the right senior living accommodations, that wouldn't work as my RV is way too small & I don't really see that as an option.
I am going to look into Eskaton as Grass Valley is a nice area or at least it was last time I drove through there. And if the costs are as described above, I think I could afford that... much like my house payment now.
Thanks Mitch for a good thought living at the Blue Marlin.... ..... Wouldn't it be a blessing if a group like this one could start up our own place to retire? I know that's probably a crazy idea, but with a common interest could be a great answer for many of us...
Glad to read all the posts but sorry to see so many of us sort of in limbo for our future....

[Bethers]

A couple things. If necessary I'd move into a senior building like my mom was in in a heartbeat. She had a studio apartment, tons of activities, people to socialize with if she desired, two meals a day that were fantastic. That said, if my health was better and I didn't need as much assistance, I'd probably find an rv park with the amenities.

As to nursing homes, I discovered there are good and bad (had always thought only bad). And as my mom's money would run out and Medicaid would be the only payment, we had to find one that accepted it. The one mom ended up finishing her days in would have been my top choice even if she had money. While I would still prefer to never be in a nursing home, sometimes we lose our choices. My concern is that should it happen to me there will be someone to do the homework to find the good one for me.

Mitch, the blue marlin would be wonderful, but preferably further south for winter.

[JudyJB]

There is an old saying about being nice to your children because they will pick out your nursing home.

It is not a bad idea for those without children to do research while they are young for themselves. I got long term care insurance 15 years ago after a friend of mine came down with pancreatic cancer and another one had a stroke. This is scary talk, but it really is good to have plans made.

FYI, you can also put money aside and prepay your funeral and burial or cremation out of money before you exhaust your funds for Medicaid. I found a cremation society and did that for my mother--much less expensive than having a funeral home handle the cremation.

[Liz]

I do have Long-term care insurance which I started buying soon after my husband died. He was disabled for 5 years prior to his death, and I was his only caregiver, except for the home-health aide I was able to hire part time while I was working. I wanted to make sure my children did not have to care for me in a similar situation.

[Carolinagal]

I really appreciated seeing this thread, this has been on my mind for years now. Helps to know I am not the only one thinking along these lines, or having this problem. I will be 75 soon, and even though I plan several more years seeing all the sights I can in our country and visiting all my family and friends. The thought of being in a closed in place, apartment or (shudder) a nursing home, does not appeal at all. As we none of us, have a choice as to how our days will be, I will just have to accept what happens, but not dwelling on it now. Sometimes plans and worry does not solve a problem or make it even go the way we think or plan. My thinking and what might appeal, may change as time goes on to, never can tell. I can't imagine, I will want to give up my independence though, hope I never have too. Don't we all ????

Mitch, your offer sounds very appealing, you have a lovely place there. But you are a very young woman yet and you have no idea what might be in your future. Besides Baja and Pedro.

Reading this thread and knowing others are facing the same problem, has helped me loads. I hope you all will go on with your lives as you want and enjoy every minute you have left. Try not to worry, how we die, may be in an instant and then we will have wasted some of the time we had to enjoy our lives. Certain wishes or properties should all be written out in a will and then forget it and live. Wishing you all well and thank you Excel and Liz, for bringing this up. It always makes our problems easier to solve when we realize others have the same thoughts. Especially for those of us who live totally alone and have no one.

CArol

[mitch5252]

...you have no idea what might be in your future. Besides Baja and Pedro.

..

I'm not thinking my future - as a boobless, old widow with no relatives - is very rosy!
(but I do thank God for people in my life that mean the world to me...)

I'll bring Pedro home with me and he can be the handyman.
And whatever else we can convince him to do.

..

[Excel]

Just had to add this as it has been on my mind also.....Grandson is now staying with me approx. 3 nights a week... Since the break-in I have the alarm always set, especially when I go to bed. In the past I've worried about what would happen to my little dog should I pass on during the night or whatever... Her food & water bowl are always full, so I know she would manage a few days... so now that Ryan is here some of the time, I don't worry anymore cause he would be here before she'd have a problem.... It's such a relief ! (Told you I have a dysfunctional family.. sometimes don't hear from anyone for weeks....if then !)

[monik7]

Just had to add this as it has been on my mind also.....Grandson is now staying with me approx. 3 nights a week... Since the break-in I have the alarm always set, especially when I go to bed. In the past I've worried about what would happen to my little dog should I pass on during the night or whatever... Her food & water bowl are always full, so I know she would manage a few days... so now that Ryan is here some of the time, I don't worry anymore cause he would be here before she'd have a problem.... It's such a relief ! (Told you I have a dysfunctional family.. sometimes don't hear from anyone for weeks....if then !)

I worry about the same thing Char with my 2 dogs and 1 cat. My problem: no one else here to check on things Glad it's working well with your grandson.
Sandi

[Carolinagal]

My little dog is my real concern too. My sister calls me evenings of week days, but wk ends no one calls usually. My closest neighbors are gone all the time, really busy family. My sister has their phone number if she could not reach me, she would call them and hopefully Maggie would be rescused. So I keep that in mind and know all will work out somehow.

In the meantime I am trying to get things cleared up here so I can leave for the winter at least. Next Wed. my guy who does some of this work around here now, will be here and if I can have most things settled or done I plan to be out of here. Looking forward to seeing my family, sister and daughter and grandchildren and all my friends, in Fl. Plus all my forum friends I can meet up with too.

I'm thinking living in an RV park would be better for me, at least someone might get curious if they didn't see me walking Maggie and I wouldn't lay for days, which is VERY possible here. Terrible thought, but have to be realistic,

We'll all be ok, we all have this forum and all our friends here, for times we are alone, we aren't really. Right ??????
CArol

[cnq50b]

I think the WomenRV senior-living resort sounds good. We are of varying ages & could take care of each other. We could continue to travel while able & enjoy each others company when we can't anymore - especially if Mitch can convince Pedro to return with her.

I think this is something even those of us with families worry about. I have 4 kids & I know I could live with any one of them - but - like many of you, I don't want to be a burden. One thing I learned with Mom though - although it felt like a hardship at times, I know those of us who spent the most time with her are also the most blessed to have shared those final days & moments - the good, the bad & the ugly moments. And while I don't want to put my kids thru that, do I also want to deny them this blessing? I pray for the humility it will take to accept whatever situation I find myself in at that time.

BUT I'd prefer to spend it with friends - supporting each other, laughing & chatting as we do here. I really do like the idea of a senior RV community where we have our own places but still will have each other to lean on. What do we need to do to make this happen?

:We'll all be ok, we all have this forum and all our friends here, for times we are alone, we aren't really. Right ??????

Right, CArol!! Absolutely right!