Break in

[BarbaraRose]

The $2900 per month sounds fairly realistic, but $109,000 just for the "privilege" to live there???? That is crazy! There are much more affordable places than that. The senior/assisted living place next to me is a very prestigious senior housing facility on Lake Minnetonka where the wealthy people around this area (ie; Pillsburys, Cargills, etc) go to live. I think it is around $3500 per month depending on the size apartment, but no other "initiation fee" to live there. Just some additional charges for various services as needed.

Keep looking...you aren't in a hurry so you have plenty of time to check into other areas, places, prices, etc.

[JudyJB]

I agree that the $2,900 sounded OK, but keeping the deposit did not. I did a lot of checking around and visiting places a few years back when my mother was alive. All of the places that required a large deposit refunded that money to your estate after your death.

A really, really big problem with places that want a big deposit is that if you find the services are lousy and the care not what was promised, you are stuck for the rest of your life. You are MUCH better off finding some place with month-to-month fees where you can change your mind after a few months. My mother was in an independent facility where she got meals and housekeeping and then in a memory care unit. While the salespeople and intake people were very pleasant and charming, I found them cold and no where near as helpful once my mother moved in.

There was a TV program on one assisted living company last night. It was on Frontline and called "Life and Death in Assisted Living."

If you can find any non-profit facilities, it is worth it to put yourself on a waiting list, even if that list is several years long.

[Pooker]

Gosh! Look at how much you survived just in this one post, Char! My grandmother used to say, "Don't borrow trouble" You and I are the same age and it appears we are both borrowing trouble worrying about the future. I don't have kids to "take care of me" either. In fact, I have to care for them most of the time.

Now that you have solved the security problem, you are moving on to the "what's to happen to me" problem! There are many, many options when you get to the point where you can't live in the house. I know the gorgeous senior housing place back in my hometown also charges an up-front buy-in fee and most people think that's all that is available. It isn't. We forum friends are used to making plans in jello. We take go with the flow to new levels! But decide for right now to take deep breaths, sip that coffee, listen to those birds, and deal with the what-if when (and if) it happens. Sell or not. Move or not. But look at all angles and think what's best for you. If the house gets to be too much - sell and move.

$2900 a month sounds about like the assisted living prices around here. That includes housekeeping, meals, etc. and you have your own efficiency room. The senior apartment living in the same complexes are much cheaper. I just helped a 92 year old friend move into a very nice assisted living facility and she pays $3,050/mo - but NO upfront fees or charges. There are all sorts of activities and amenities and her rent includes everything. For 3 months she lived in one that was awful! What their flyer stated and the reality of the place were so far apart it was pathetic. People just laid in their beds waiting to die. Same city, totally different environment.

It's so hard to realize that we can only depend on ourselves and there are times when we don't feel strong enough. Hang in there, kiddo.

Pooker

[Rufflesgurl]

Char - So glad you found an alarm system that works for you and helps you to rest easier. My one experience with looking at places for my mom (92 at the time) in this area of CA was aobut $2500, for a nice 1 bedroom apartment with 2 meals a day included and activities all the time with help on the premises at all times - doesn't sound like you are at this point. There are some great senior adult 55+ active living communities where you buy a smaller nice home and pay HOA which includes gym facilities, etc. Housing prices in CA have gone up, the market is moving and there's a great demand especially in Silicon Valley - the working folks need and want to live there! You might consider selling your big home. Good luck and enjoy your coffee and space each day.

Linda

[Excel]

Thanks for all the replies... gave me a lot to think about. I am fortunate to have decent health & good mobility so don't think I'm ready for a 'home' yet. Was talking to my friend who lives in Mesquite, NV about aging & what's next for those of us that are 'getting up there'... She is 73 & a tough little Italian who has seen many hardships in her life & has 6 kids to keep her going. She doesn't want to live with them either should time make that a choice. Thing is, she can't afford to move here to San Jose & I can't live in the area she lives in... can't take that kind of heat at all. Anyway, for whatever reason that flyer gave me something to think about...so I can be somewhat 'educated' down the line.
Am so glad for the comments from those of you that obviously have experience through family, etc. My folks lived in Chicago & never ended up in a Senior type home & always lived in their little house. So I have nothing to guide me except this forum & input from all of you. Thank you so much.
BTW... Grandson is moving in on Saturday... so have to rid myself of a lot of 'stuff'... Between Craigslist & Nextdoor.com a couple of things are gone.......so glad. Now if I could just get the garage done... b Ryan (Grandson) has all his furniture & stuff in there... I could have a garage sale but.... at least here, people want to pay 10 cents for something worth $100.00... so no garage sale for me...
Hope Ryan & I can live peacefully together at least for a while... we'll see. Looking forward to being able to open windows in my bedroom once again. If only a few inches... OMG, that'll be so great !!!

[snowball]

was reading something the other day that said something to the effect that you
keep your keys with you (the ones that you push the button and it unlocks/or locks the door)
guess some of them have a panic button that when you push it the alarms on the car go off until you reset
them or the batteries die...it is suppose to 1) scare off the intruder 2) get attention from the neighbors
who hopefully will either call for help or come to your aid...makes since but my key isn't that advanced
all it does is manually unlock the doors
sheila

[Cudedog]

There was a TV program on one assisted living company last night. It was on Frontline and called "Life and Death in Assisted Living."

Dear God.

Thanks for the suggestion, Judy. I watched that program this evening on my Roku box. What a horror show. When this thread started I couldn't understand how it could cost so much a month for assisted living.

OMG.

Strictly for profit - the workers (including the "trained technicians" - a trained technician just means that the person sat through an 8-hour video!!) get a fast $10.00/hour, the executives and the stockholders rake in millions - $22 million/year I think it said for the head guy.

The alternatives? None to speak of.

This whole program was extremely upsetting, but I'm glad I watched it.

My father lived his last time in a local assisted living facility, had a one-bedroom private apartment, food always available, laundry, bus service, barber, activities, pleasant attendents, they really worked to keep the place clean. I visited him nearly every day, and he seemed reasonably content. But - even at 97 - he had not a touch of dementia, which was a help. He never took any guff from anyone. I actually got to know him - a little bit - for the first time in my life.

The place was month-to-month, with no "initiation" fee. I think it was $1600 a month, but that was a few years ago; probably more now.

Excel, keep looking!

Anne

[Travelinana]

Char, so glad things are beginning to smooth out but not without some very smart thinking and doing on your part, and God's guidance, actually God's guidance is the nucleus for us in all of our trials and tribulations. We have all read what has happened to you and some of us have remembered our own situations past or present. We know we should plan as best we can for our later years but God gives us our life on a daily basis and that's the only way...I ache for you over the problem with your son more than anything...I have had occasional 'disagreements' with my children, mostly my son because we live so close but we are so very close, he knows I would lay down my life for him and I do believe he would do the same..I learned things I didn't know when I was very sick with flu and pneumonia last winter..he was my rock..Keep talking to us, we really are family here on this forum...isn't it wonderful that we found it? My prayers continue for you, Mitch, Ermi, and others I'm sorry I might have left out but God knows who you are.

[Excel]

It's wonderful that I have this site to post my anxieties (spelling?) on. I saw a post about keeping car keys near you in case of emergencies... but my car is a 1991 Lexus & does not have that technology so that isn't an option. However, my key fob that comes with my alarm system does have an emergency button so I keep that under my pillow....but thanks for the suggestion. The car being so 'old' is still in really good condition & I love it...so no way would I buy a new car... the age old reason... the expense & not much savings... so lucky to have it.
I think troubles sometimes come in 3's ... think my luck has gone beyond that but when looking for some wood pieces to stick in my windows after the break in, when walking through my utility room to get to the garage, I just happened to look up at the ceiling & saw this large bubble in the paint. Touched it & it broke... obviously indicating a leak in the above bathroom... no sense explaining all that but since things have settled down somewhat, I called a company that I am familiar with from when I was in business & he came out & sure enough I have a problem in my Master bathroom that I had remodeled 3 yrs ago to the tune of $12,000. The floor guy will be out on Tuesday to open it all up & replace what damage there is, etc. Crossing fingers & toes that the rot (I'm sure there will be some) won't run under the tub that was put in when I remodeled.
Anyway, my problem is I cannot remember what we called furniture that was light wood back many years ago.... was it called 'blonde' ? Cause I can't get down to the floor store this weekend & so I checked their website & picked out a linoleum that looks similar to a wood floor.... I think that would be good enough.... I'm am not 'connected' to this house anymore, so not picky about what to choose.... I remember at least 50 years ago having the light wood on a TV.... but couldn't remember what we called it... Going to call the floor company & tell them.... hope they understand what 'blonde' means.....
Thanks again for all replies.... hoping this last 'surprise' expense doesn't put me in bankruptcy... although I just got an e-mail from LifeShield saying they were refunding my $400.00 from the alarm system I returned.... I'm sure that refund will pass through my hands like water as it makes it way to the flooring installer....

[OregonLuvr]

Your homeowners insurance should cover it. Minus your deductible.

karen

[VickieP]

Your homeowners insurance should cover it. Minus your deductible.

karen

Yes, that's what I was thinking, too. You've paid for it all these years, use it!

[BirdbyBird]

Insurance paid for repairs on my parent's place about ten years ago.....damage due to a leaky water line to the rig!

[Excel]

Thanks for the input.... I called my insurance company & I'm told that only sudden leaks are covered... this situation isn't 'sudden' so it probably won't be covered.... but I was told to see what happens when the toilet is removed, etc. as maybe some coverage will apply.... course I have a $500 ded. so we'll see. I'm sure it's gonna cost that plus a bunch more... crossing fingers

[monik7]

Thanks for the input.... I called my insurance company & I'm told that only sudden leaks are covered... this situation isn't 'sudden' so it probably won't be covered.... but I was told to see what happens when the toilet is removed, etc. as maybe some coverage will apply.... course I have a $500 ded. so we'll see. I'm sure it's gonna cost that plus a bunch more... crossing fingers

I had almost the same problem about 5 years ago. It was caused by the flooring company subcontracted for new flooring through Home Depot. They apparently re-leveled the floor after taking out the tile I wanted to replace with marble in the master bath. In re-leveling, it raised the floor slightly higher than it had been. When they reseated the toilet they used a standard seal. Because the floor was now a little higher, they should have used a thicker seal. The standard one didn't even seal at all, thus causing a leak. Luckily I remembered who the floor installer was and contacted them. I took loads of pictures during the repair and showed them to the flooring owner when he came to see. They agreed to pay for the entire repair which included cleanup and replacement of damaged wood, replacing half of the marble in the master bath, reseating the toilet with a thicker seal, repair of the downstairs ceiling in the family room, and putting a thicker seal in another bathroom they had done similar work on but had not yet leaked. The total cost was approx. $2,500. Hopefully yours will be less and/or covered by your insurance.
Sandi

[Excel]

Glad you had someone that corrected their mistakes...Sandi... Unfortunately, the company I dealt with is no longer in business (surprise )... Which of course is no surprise.. wouldn't want them back anyway... so we'll see come Tuesday what I'll be looking at cost wise. As far as Grandson moving in... well, his plans are a lot like 'jello' due to his job (PG&E construction worker) so he has his furniture in my garage & I have done what I could in Kathy's bedroom that he will be staying in... however, he is working at a different area now so PG&E is providing workers with a motel room close to the site they're working at, so he is not here yet. Supposed to come today & start trying to move furniture, clothes, etc. Don't know when to expect him....talk about 'jello'.....
Seems like I'm feeling better somewhat. Went through the last of Kathy's college books yesterday... that was hard but had to be done. Anyway, I called the college & asked if they would accept the many, many medical books she had from her classes. When I mentioned some of the titles, the gal said I could probably sell them at a good price... I said No.... wanted to donate them in Kathy's name... she said that would be great. So next week I plan on taking them there... there are so many... I know this is what she would want me to do...
Sandi, as soon as things get a little more settled, I'd like to see if you're up for a mini get together... you're PM's have been a great help to me... so thanks so much... I'll be in touch... soon as I can walk through my living room, garage, hall, laundry room, etc.
take care everyone.... sun is shining here... hope it's shining wherever you are too....