Break in

[Pooker]

Just a few more thoughts. I feel deter/delay is the way to go. Make it as inconvenient or difficult as you can and the "bad guys" move on to an easier mark. Thorny bushes or cacti planted along your garage or patio where they get access to the roof. Have you ever tried to walk by a bourgainvilla bush? Also dowels in the track of sliding windows and vertically on both sides of casement windows. Doesn't need to be as thick as broom handle. I had them in the upper part of my large casement windows and when the installers came to put in a new swamp cooler they had a heck of a time trying to open the window until I discovered I had only removed one of the two dowels! And that was with 3 of us forcing the window! Anyway, it will deter or delay. Motion lights may or may not be good. Some love them, some hate them. Secret is to point them so they don't go on and off every time a branch moves or a bunny hops across the yard. I have a dusk to dawn porch light, but even then it has two sides to success. A gal in my neighborhood was broken into after her light came on allowing the theives to peek in her kitchen window and see where everything was! I don't leave mine on all night because everyone can see everything on my patio. I'd prefer they stumble around and fall over things in the dark - thereby making noise!

We are all vulnerable - everywhere. If you think your area is safe from problems you just haven't seen the complete statistics or reports. However, remember this: Wherever you live you hesr about the episodes. You don't hear about the thousands of residents with no episodes. In a community of 100,000 homes, probably only about 2,000 got broken into this week. Actually pretty good odds.

I live in a senior community and we "old folks" are targets for every con artist and crook passing by. But even then, there are far more non events. Don't cripple yourself with fear. Get the facts. Visit your local police department and get the exact numbers for any given week. What is the population of your town/city? See for yourself that the situation isn't as bad as it seems. Besides, how many years did you live where you live now without an incident? Is this your first? Pretty good odds. Your number just came up. Luck of the draw.

Do all you can and then decide the bad guys aren't gonna win this!

Pooker

[BayouLady]

The cameras are only monitored by me, they are constantly recording and hold two weeks of information. If anything would happen, I can record the data on a DVD and get prints. Years back I had a fine group living next door, they didnt work and I felt I needed to do something to protect my property when I wasn't home. The cameras were professionally installed but I didn't feel the need to pay for monitoring too. When one of the installers told me that the group next door was watching, I felt good because that told them that they weren't a joke. When I seen the for sale sign next door, I was very tempted to get a bottle of Dom Perignon and celebrate on the front lawn. It is normally safe where I live, but you never can let your guard down.

[JoanE]

I don't want a gun but if I did, I think a shot gun in the hands of a scared woman is more of a deterent than a hand gun which requires accuracy.

[Excel]

I am so grateful for all your comments...this has been a really tough week for me. So many bad things going on... anyway, the alarm system came & after speaking with family members found out that the only one I can depend on is me... So followed the directions online & in the manual that came with it... made some mistakes, had to do many things over (mostly cause I didn't read the directions completely)... but by 7:00 PM had the important stuff done... Took me almost 9 hrs... But it's done. Left all the things jambed into the sliders even with the monitors on... thought that didn't hurt anything.. Figured out how to lock up, do upstairs & go to .... bed... finally! Turned on my air conditioner (roll around) that I haven't used the last few days (because I wanted to be able to listen for noise....) and went to bed feeling more or less protected or at least not as vulnerable....Finally got some much needed sleep. Woke up today, got my coffee, read the paper & then installed my motion detectors (for the inside of the house)... Have a fire alarm sensor yet to install...don't know if I'll put that up yet. (Thinking: if the whole dam thing burns down & me & my dog can get out safely....it would sure solve all this angst ! ). Get all this done.... sit down with a cuppa to read me e-mails and there is a post from my alarm company.... which says, local police will NOT be notified in case of a break-in...(evidently San Jose does not recognize alarm system break-ins....?????? So when one sends an alert a different company is alerted & THEY come out.....???? and of course that cost is not paid by the alarm company but is billed to you on your account. The cost? $65.00 per alert.... Now, don't you know how much better I feel ? Especially as my bank account is now $400 + less, not counting the gun yet.... that's another $450...... On the other hand, maybe it's okay.... as the police didn't do anything anyway....
Also, another break in 2 days ago, around the corner from me..... in broad daylight... she had an alarm system bit it wasn't activated while she was out.
As far as the shot gun over a revolver..... well, you don't have to be as accurate..... point it & you're bound to hit something....
Now for the part that's really hard for me. Son showed up yesterday to talk about window sensors, etc. & installing motion lights outside.... because I didn't know if I agreed with some of his opinions, he started screaming at me & yelling how he had plenty to do at his own house & was doing me a favor being here to help me..... how I just didn't appreciate anything... and of course how I'm just a mean old woman....on & on & on.... till he finally said he was leaving & would not be back till I apologized to him. This mean old lady is the one who is living on a tight budget due to the fact that my Grandson/his son is living in my townhouse free while he is going to school.. other Grandson borrowed $3,500 from me saying he would pay me back quickly, that was a year & a half ago.... still owes me $2000.... and the 3rd Grandson needed money for his college tuition... so there went another $10,000
Guess I'm just a mean old lady..... What I am is nearly broke.... and you can bet not a one of them will step in if I get into a financial pitfall.... Don't understand.... just don't understand.
Well, that's my pity party for today.. if you read it all, thank you... not looking for sympathy, just needed to vent...
Hope all of you have love all around you... it's all that's necessary in reality...
God bless...

[mitch5252]

..
Char, I'm really sorry you're having to go through all of this.
Ungrateful brat.
I hope you have pulled your purse strings REALLY tight...

But sounds like you did a good job on the security system! Good for you!
You're stronger than you think you are...

How about a BIG virtual hug AND a pat on the back!

..

[Excel]

Luv ya Mitch.... after all you've been through & you still have a heart as big as an ocean.... thanks for thinking of me.. You're absolutely a wonder !!!!

[retiredhappy]

Proud of you girl!! Sometimes we get the least help from our family members. Pull your pursestrings really tight. Tell them you made it on your own and now its their turn. Hard to do but sometimes really necessary.

[WickedLady]

It's not only strangers that will take advantage of Grandma. Family members can screw you over guick as anyone.

[Cudedog]

Unbelievable!

What you have been through in the last week or so would have already sent me around the bend. Frankly, I'm surprised that you are still sane. I know I wouldn't be.

I'm guessing that you must be a LOT more even-tempered than I am. I pretty much have an incredibly long fuse, but there is one hell of a bang at the end of it. This one would have been a blast of truly nuclear proportions.

Right about now I would be on Realtor.com estimating what my townhome might bring in a fast sale in the current market. Either that, or I would have my realtor on speed dial. Probably both.

Good work with the alarm system. It's amazing what we can do when we are "up against it". Never underestimate the power of a woman scorned!

You GO girl!!

Anne

[Olive600]

Char, so proud of you for taking care of yourself. I don't know you, but that doesn't diminish how impressed I am. You got 'er done!
I'm so sorry about the friction with your son. Take care of yourself there, too.

Hope to meet you some day.

Nikki

[Excel]

I've often read how one of us is facing hard times & all the support that comes from this group of ladies....and how appreciated it is... sometimes I just wondered .. how can that be when mostly no one has met face to face....well, here I am, alone, facing hard times & yeah, being old... let's say 'older'.... it's really been awful... so I vent here (no one else to do that to) and get all this support and beautiful encouragement... it DOES help.... it DOES make one feel stronger and not so alone....some of you have probably gone through harder times & still give comfort... it's amazing. From my heart to all of yours....thank you...
God bless & be strong... (as the drama may continue & I'll need that 'strong' part ....)

[VickieP]

You just keep venting all you want! We're here for you & support & cheer you on as you work through all this.

[snowball]

Char
Gosh venting helps...I'm glad you felt like you could
it's hard cause part of you I'm sure wants to say something
to the son but then the other side reminds you that he is your
son and you don't want to say something that will make a gulf a mile wide
between you two...but apologize??? for what because he was having a bad hair day?
think not sounds like he is having a rough time...and perhaps a few days of no communication
is good but don't let it go on too long but don't apologize you have nothing to apologize for other than
his bad mood...
take care my friend and you did good putting that stuff in by yourself
sheila

[Redetotry]

Char,(((((( big hugs))))))), you vent all you want, we are all here and willing to listen. I'm so sorry about the way your son reacted to what has happened to you. I think since you have given your son/grandchildren so much and they seem to have no appreciation for all you have done, that you need to get their attention but certainly by not by apologizing!! I like Cudedog's (Annie) advice when she said...

" Right about now I would be on Realtor.com estimating what my townhome might bring in a fast sale in the current market. Either that, or I would have my realtor on speed dial. Probably both."

I wouldn't tell any family member what I was doing, let the realtor be the one to notify the grandson who is living rent free in your townhouse that the place is for sale and he has X amount of time to vacate. I would also send notes to the ones who owe you money, stating the balance due and setting up a repayment plan that includes a modest interest rate. It sounds like they all need to have a wake up call. People will take advantage of you as long as you allow it. The fact that they think they need your money isn't your problem it is their problem and they are the ones that should take the responsibility of finding a way to earn it. Maybe they will all realize that they should treat the person who helps them with gratitude and respect.

[BirdbyBird]

I like BJ's thinking. There are strangers trying to take your things and apparently you have family members who consider your things theirs. Which are damaging your long term security the most?

Maybe your son is feeling guilty because he couldn't provide for his sons or maybe jealous because he didn't get inline with his hand out. But all the financial advisors I have heard speak or read articles from speak to insuring your own future financially.......and letting family carry their own debts. Maybe if we were all in a higher income and investment bracket we could do differently but for most of us that isn't the case.