sad news...

[BarbaraRose]

Just got a phone call from work. My manager had her baby last night...but the cord was wrapped around his neck and they couldn't save him. I just can't believe now days that that can still happen. I know she said yesterday that on the last ultrasound it showed the cord up around his face. Wouldn't you think they would have checked again before letting her deliver?

I am in shock. I can't believe this. She is the sweetest person and was so excited about this baby (like anyone would be). It is going to be so difficult for her and all of us at work with all the customers asking about her and the baby for the next several months when they come back in for their haircuts.

I lost a sister for the same reason, altho she was also breached. I always wondered what it would have been like to have a sister. She would have been about 10 years older than me. Back then, they just told the moms to go home and pretend it never happened and go on with their lives. My mom never even got to see her or name her. No funeral, no nothing. My mom and I named her finally about 6 months before my mom passed away...Victoria Jean Wiborg.

I have to go in now to cover her shift. I had the weekend off, but I wanted to work anyways but not under these circumstances. Will be a tough day...

[Redwahine]

Tell your manager we send her our love and sympathy for her terrible loss. Maybe you could print a card explaining the loss to give to her clients as they come in. People feel awkward and don't know what to say.

[Dawn309]

Barbie, I am so sorry to hear this for your manager. She will be in my prayers. I think letting the customers know is a good idea. You are right, she will have a hard time with this for a while. Any loss is hard, but I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a child like this. You never even get to know them outside of your body.

Red, I am so sorry for your losses.

[dayspring39]

Oh Barbie that is awful... I have said a prayer for her to recover completely and that as she grieves she will heal...
My son was born with the cord around his neck but he lived... he was also a black color...
it seems like they should have done a c section...
Kathleen

[Liz]

So sorry to hear about that. My prayers for your manager and family.

[BarbaraRose]

Thank you for your condolences and prayers. Her name is Ashley and her boyfriend is Tim and the baby is Timothy Anthony Jr.

I just can't even imagine the pain they and their families are all dealing with right now. What a nightmare.

[Echo]

My heart breaks for the parents of this baby. I will also keep them in my prayers for healing. I simply can not imagine or grasp the concept of losing a child at birth like that.

[Irmi]

Barbie, I am so sorry to read about this. I think what Reds mentioned is a good idea, to let the customers know. Prayers are being sent up for your manager.

[kdmac]

Oh, that is just so very sad and painful. I am sorry for your pain. You are absolutely right, this seems it could have been avoided. The journey down the birth canal is quite a tight fit just seems so foolish that they would have allowed it knowing of the chords position...seems foolish. You are right about how difficul it will be to have to share that sad news to all who come in for their haircuts. Maybe there is a way to send them all a little note in the mail, or do you have their emails? or a little "memorial card" to give them as they check in for their haircut so they will know how to act accordingly. I know that sounds a little strange but I just can't imagine her, and all of you other gals, going through it each time someone comes in all jolly and expecting to hear good news. My son came out "sunny-side-up" which although it was difficult for me it was more difficult for him and the chord was around his neck but all turned out ok. Naming your sister was a very right thing to do as she was woven in your mother's womb by the hand God and had life. As I believe when the little ones pass away, before the age of accountability, they are ushered right into the arms of the Lord; having a perfect existence for eternity.

[Nasoosie]

The loss of a baby, no matter what the age, is one of life's most traumatic experiences. And those well-meaning persons who advise that the mother can have other children, or that it was 'god's will' (no god I ever wish to know would do such a thing), or that you should not grieve but go home and get over it, and other words meant to soothe but which just infuriate those experiencing the loss, need to hold their tongues and just cry with the mom and dad. Crying and sympathy and empathy go a long way in such instances.....I know from experience. Crying is good for the soul, and the parents need to know that and appreciate that it will take time to laugh and smile again. Never try to rush a mother out of her mourning. Cry with her, allow her to rant and scream and wring her hands, fall apart when she must, talk about the baby if she wishes.....just be open and don't be afraid to cry.

I do believe that a card at the door explaining the tragedy before any clients come in and happily ask about the new baby would be a very good idea. Then they can begin crying right then, and be honest with the poor mom. Tears never killed anyone, and they tend to help wash away some agony.

I am so sorry for the loss of Timothy Anthony Jr. I send tears and hugs to the parents.

[OregonLuvr]

As most of you know I am a Labor & Delivery nurse. These are the cases I dread MOST. I hate it when a mother comes in and I go to put the Fetal monitor on her and I cant find baby's heartbeat. I suspect that is what happened to your manager. If she went in because of labor and they put the monitor on her and the baby was fine this could be avoided as we nurses monitor that baby diligently. We see anything wrong with the heartbeat and a C/S is usually done immediately.
It isnt that unusual to have a cord around the neck at delivery, most babies do fine, some need a "kick start" but this also depends on what we see on the monitor. I am so sorry for her loss, it is always truly heartbreaking to lose a child. Most L&D units do a wonderful job of helping mothers cope (best they can) with whatever the mothers choices are (holding, footprints, lock of hair, etc) I have cried with many a family. There are no words that can make it better. My heart goes out to all her family, friends, and coworkers as this is a huge loss.

karen

[Bethers]

Barbie, I'm so sorry for your manager's loss. How hard this is for them - and for all of you who care about them.

[monik7]

I am so sorry to hear this. There is nothing worse than losing a child at any age. Your manager is very lucky to have you and the others who care about her around for support as she tries to deal with such a great loss. I lost my 22-year-old son to murder and like you had an older sister who died at 3 days old. I too have longed to know what life would have been like had my son had a chance to really reach adulthood or what my life would have been like to have had a sister. I will keep your manager and her family in my prayers. I am so so sorry.
Sandi

[mizdeb]

I can't even pretend to know what this couple is going through. When Chris was a baby my biggest fear was losing him. My prayers go out to this couple, their family and friends.

Red I am also so sorry to hear of your losses.

Deb

[rvgrammy1953]

My heart and prayers go to your manager and her family....I personally carry that pain....it heals, but never goes away....may God in His wisdom and love carry her at this time....