by Echo » Wed Aug 29, 2012 12:50 pm
Wish I had some good/positive news to share. I hate medical jargon and I sometimes think medical ppl forget we need stuff in layman's terms. They don't know anything, that's the bottom line. At least nothing more/new. It's something in her head but until the MRI results come back... They backed off on the antibiotics to let whatever baddies in her chest grow a bit so they could get cultures. She's not back on the antibiotics and seems to be responding to them. I swear doctors need translators!
I got there about 7:45. Didn't have to wait too long and Dr. Cole came in. Maybe I should have taken notes, idk. I'm not sure if it's her brain stem or if it was something else. There's a sheath on/around it and it seems like something is making it erode. They've ruled out Guillain-Barre (had to look up the spelling on that one), which is a is a neurological disorder in which the body's immune system attacks part of the Peripheral Nervous System. They're saying she's paralyzed. They tried to wake her yesterday, taking her off the sedative but it was a no go. They tried again today and Dr. Cole wiped her face with a cold rag and she twitched a bit but I guess it wasn't really enough of a response to be positive. They soon booted me to the ICU waiting lounge. Said they were going to do a thorough check of her entire body just to rule out a tick. Yeah, as in those nasty lil blood suckers animals get. You'd think they'd already know having bathed her 3 times since being admitted. He'd asked me if we'd been camping recently. I told him that we basically camp permanently, in an rv. That was about 8:45. I'd brought a book and read and watched tv. Before I knew it 2 hours had passed. David texted me and told me to get my butt back in there. I spoke to another of her nurses and she said "oh, I didn't know you wanted us to come get you..." What the ?? *headdesk* Cole said they'd send for me when they were done.
I feel stupid for having sat there for 2 hours like a bump on a log but geeze whiz ppl, ya forgot me? David said they woke him from a doze at about 2:45? saying they needed to bathe her and they'd come get him when they were done. He woke up around 4 and after checking on her he hit the road, showered and went to work. I know she's sedated, I know that it's not like she's just going to wake up and ask for either of us but while we're there they could at least remember we are, right? I got crying when I first got there, just seeing her hooked up and all and again when I was leaving.
Frustrated as heck, wishing they could just figure this all out. Scared because she's so critical. I mean, yes, she's stable... yet not... I don't know how to put it right. So darn hard seeing her incapacitated like this. I'm scared. No one is ever ready to lose a parent or sibling or anyone they love. I know it was really hard for mom losing both my grandparents in the same year. With my grams, we knew it was coming, due to ovarian cancer. With my grandfather about 6 mos later, it was an motorcycle/vehicle accident during a nasty rainstorm and he was killed instantly. Mom, David and Connor are the only family I'm close to, really. Having to face the fact that we may lose mom... It's slowly sinking in. I'm trying to hold it together and stay positive, to stay strong. I'm praying and hoping with all my heart that she'll make it through this. She is tough, she is strong. It can't be her time yet. And if it's being selfish to say I'm not ready to lose her, then so be it. I don't know if they will keep trying to wake her on a daily basis or what. I figure that by sedating her she won't just wake up on her own and have any sort of bad reaction to the intubation. I will probably call and check on her tomorrow evening.
~Kelly