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One step forward, two steps back
Posted:
Sun Jul 15, 2012 9:12 amby Travelinana
I know I am making progress and it's probably the fatigue I am experiencing that makes it seem this way. I am still pretty sore from the fall and feel a little shaky. The painting is for all purposes done on the inside. They will do the garage Monday and probably touch up on Tuesday. The pad at my son's should be done by mid to end of next week. Trying to help the painters kept me in the house more than I thought it would so I still don't have my things in Lady Bird. It has been so dreadfully humid just being outside for short periods is oppressive. Does anyone have a sibling who has a real talent for getting under your skin? I love my #2 brother but he can be such a 'pita'. Yesterday I called him to tell him I needed him to get what he wants as soon as possible. He said he has a problem with storage and a trailer. I don't know what he has been doing as we talked about this a month ago. I couldn't help with storage but I told him he could take the things off my trailer and use my truck. We were walking through the house and he said he was interested in my sofa and chair but he didn't like that the dogs had soiled the corners (which is slight and will easily shampoo) then he ask about my flatscreen in my bedroom then he said 'Oh that's that old Polaroid, I don't want it'. It's a great TV, I had a little problem with the built in DVD player but it has a very good picture. Now, mind you this is all free. I told him I would rather my family have what they want than take 10 cents on the dollar from a dealer. He also made a comment regarding silver dollars of my fathers that I have been keeping that rubbed me. He considers them all his and there are four of us. His family has had lots of financial problems and I have helped especially with Hogan. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.
Re: One step forward, two steps back
Posted:
Sun Jul 15, 2012 10:18 amby Echo
Nancy I think we all have that kind of family member! My middle brother is like that. All you can do is offer stuff and let him make his decision. Give him a date that he MUST get the stuff out and then follow thru if he doesn't get it. As to anything that you are splitting up between the 4 of you? Same thing there too. Divide fairly and ignore his belly aching! He kinda sounds like the type of person who is, "me, me, me." You simply can't do any more than what you can and then just write off any noises of grumping.
Re: One step forward, two steps back
Posted:
Sun Jul 15, 2012 10:35 amby avalen
stash the silver dollars and tell him you sold them LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG time ago
give him a date to "get it by" or its gone and stick to it. Just go on with your schedule and
don't worry about him, you can think about being on the road and not having to "deal" with
his issues. Thats what getting away is all about.
If I was closer I would come and help,
but sorry I can't.
Re: One step forward, two steps back
Posted:
Sun Jul 15, 2012 11:59 amby Redwahine
Sometimes family members feel like it is OK to be more frank or honest and disrespectful with family than with friends. We can be rude to our loved ones in ways we would never be toward a friend or co-worker. I've never figured out why, but at least that has been my experience. I agee with Ava & Echo. Give him a date, if he doesn't take the stuff by then, tough!!! You have enough stress to deal with, don't let his pettiness bother you.
Re: One step forward, two steps back
Posted:
Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:04 pmby Irmi
Yup, what all of them said. Set the clock and let him know when his time is up.
Re: One step forward, two steps back
Posted:
Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:51 pmby Bethers
Irmi wrote:Yup, what all of them said. Set the clock and let him know when his time is up.
Yep, yep, yep to all of them.
And, It's not your responsibility to help him move it. If you want to, fine, but give him the date, tell him to get it or it's out of there. Plain and simple. Then don't have regrets if he gripes either before, during or if he doesn't get it. You offered, you did your best, it's up to him now.
Re: One step forward, two steps back
Posted:
Sun Jul 15, 2012 3:39 pmby Travelinana
Thanks to all of you for your support..He has always had this way about him and I'm not the only one that has wanted to wring his neck. He will come back in a day or two with some kind of peace offering either in word or deed. I had two little brothers to watch over from age 10. My mom said he was her sickly child and it was obvious to all he was her favorite. I know this is typical in so many families.
Re: One step forward, two steps back
Posted:
Sun Jul 15, 2012 5:21 pmby Dawn309
Oh it is too true Nancy. I am sure you will all hear me want to wring Paul's neck from time to time. Seem to remember offering him to anyone who wanted him a while back. My sister is the one in our family that is being a real pain right now. She does not have time to come see Mom nor any offer to help Mom with her packing. The only thing she told Mom was that she wanted her Hitchcock chairs. Then she did not ever come get them. Finally she told Mom she only wanted them to make sure they stayed "in the family". We all know this means that they not go to my kids. It has always bugged her that the girls are not my natural daughters. She has always felt that Mom truly only had 2 grandkids, her daughters. She said it was OK with her if our brother John took them. What we thought was funny is that John and Gwyn will never have any kids, so when John passes, they will go to whoever John or Gwyn decide. It probably won't be her idea of "staying in the family".
Every family has their share of sibling problems. I agree with everyone to just give your brother a time limit and if he doesn't abide by that, you do whatever you need to do.