WHY
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 11:46 am
Why, has become the main word in my thughts these days. As I sit here this winter, I am slowly getting tired of cold and snow. My mind starts to think. It thinks about winter, spring, the summer to come, my future, my life both past, present and hopefully future. And as I ponder it all, I wonder why. If I am getting, for the first time in my life, to a pont where winter i beginning to drag, why am I staying here? Why am I not down someplace where it's warmer, the grass is green (hopefully) and there is no snow or cold. If there is such a place this wnter
I look at my life. I'm single, I have no family other than 4 cousins whom I'm not in contact with that much. I have a few friends, but none whom I can call up and say "hey, want to...: They are married with their own doings etc. So why do I stay here? I think back on all the trips my parents and I went on over the years we were together, the places we went, the thngs we saw, the fun times we had. Why am I not doing that now? True, I have had to work in summers in order to persay live. Unfortunately it takes money to live as we all know. But now that I am at the age where I can start my SS, I'm looking at it differently. And with my boss leaving and who knows who the new one will be, perhaps work won't be so much fun or maybe no work at all. And I dream of that open road. So why I am waiting? There is nothng holding me back. I am free like a bird to fly off where I please and only be grounded within my limitations (those of you who read The Shack, probablly recall that). I have a nice home, and almost 4 acres of lovely ground here. But why do I keep it? It's too big for me, it requires work and expense to keep up. I pay for gas to keep me warm, electric to give me light and cable TV for which I rarely look at. Why? I have income, income pays my bills. Why do I use my ilncome to pay my bills when a whole beautiful country awaits me out there? Why do I pay property taxes to keep this house that I just "live" in. Is it because it's feeling of "security", fullfilling the American dream to own a house, or because that's they way it works. We are born, we live, we work, we exist, we die. Perhaps it a guilt factor. Dad wanted to move after mom died and in a way so did I. We had the land, we got the house put on it, we worked on the land, we kept after the house and he loved it here, but I always had a longing for the house we had before and it never felt like home. But he knew I would be all set when he was gone. After all he hoped for me, am I letting him down? But the neighborhood is quiet, I never see my neighbors much and I am alone anyway. Nobody ever checks on me since my next door neighbors are now gone. So why do I stay?
Why am I here? Is it the fear of the unknown? The open road calls me, the want and the urge to go, pull on me. So why do I stay put and just think about it? Maybe it's because the idea of selling everythlng and hitting that open road and just wandering is so out of the ordinary that the thought is scary. A million "if's" go through your mind. Do I have enough money to do this? If I sell my house and invest the money, will I have enough to buy another one if I decide that the roaming lifestyle isn't for me? I would need to get a different RV as my little TT wouldn't be quite big enough for extanded stays on the road. Or is it perhaps the decision having to be made as to whether I keep a "sticks and Bricks" place to come "home" to when I feel ilke it? Do I think I might get lonesome? But I can get lonesome here too. And would I miss contact with whata friends and family I have although I don't have much contact as I said? That's what the internet and phones are for.
Why do I sit here and wait for the housing market to get better? For each year I wait, I am getting older, the house is getting older. Is it time to sell and run with it? I read LJPetrlin's Blog and she has hit the nail on the head. She's going for it. Beth went for it and there are others out there who went for it or are going for it. So why do I hem and haw?
I know one thing for sure. This summer will make these decisions. This summer will be the one to see if I really want to do this. This summer will be the year I stop asking Why and starting asking Why Not.
Thanks for listening to my rambles. Just getting it out of my system I guess you could call it. Know I can always talk to my "sistah's" out there.
I look at my life. I'm single, I have no family other than 4 cousins whom I'm not in contact with that much. I have a few friends, but none whom I can call up and say "hey, want to...: They are married with their own doings etc. So why do I stay here? I think back on all the trips my parents and I went on over the years we were together, the places we went, the thngs we saw, the fun times we had. Why am I not doing that now? True, I have had to work in summers in order to persay live. Unfortunately it takes money to live as we all know. But now that I am at the age where I can start my SS, I'm looking at it differently. And with my boss leaving and who knows who the new one will be, perhaps work won't be so much fun or maybe no work at all. And I dream of that open road. So why I am waiting? There is nothng holding me back. I am free like a bird to fly off where I please and only be grounded within my limitations (those of you who read The Shack, probablly recall that). I have a nice home, and almost 4 acres of lovely ground here. But why do I keep it? It's too big for me, it requires work and expense to keep up. I pay for gas to keep me warm, electric to give me light and cable TV for which I rarely look at. Why? I have income, income pays my bills. Why do I use my ilncome to pay my bills when a whole beautiful country awaits me out there? Why do I pay property taxes to keep this house that I just "live" in. Is it because it's feeling of "security", fullfilling the American dream to own a house, or because that's they way it works. We are born, we live, we work, we exist, we die. Perhaps it a guilt factor. Dad wanted to move after mom died and in a way so did I. We had the land, we got the house put on it, we worked on the land, we kept after the house and he loved it here, but I always had a longing for the house we had before and it never felt like home. But he knew I would be all set when he was gone. After all he hoped for me, am I letting him down? But the neighborhood is quiet, I never see my neighbors much and I am alone anyway. Nobody ever checks on me since my next door neighbors are now gone. So why do I stay?
Why am I here? Is it the fear of the unknown? The open road calls me, the want and the urge to go, pull on me. So why do I stay put and just think about it? Maybe it's because the idea of selling everythlng and hitting that open road and just wandering is so out of the ordinary that the thought is scary. A million "if's" go through your mind. Do I have enough money to do this? If I sell my house and invest the money, will I have enough to buy another one if I decide that the roaming lifestyle isn't for me? I would need to get a different RV as my little TT wouldn't be quite big enough for extanded stays on the road. Or is it perhaps the decision having to be made as to whether I keep a "sticks and Bricks" place to come "home" to when I feel ilke it? Do I think I might get lonesome? But I can get lonesome here too. And would I miss contact with whata friends and family I have although I don't have much contact as I said? That's what the internet and phones are for.
Why do I sit here and wait for the housing market to get better? For each year I wait, I am getting older, the house is getting older. Is it time to sell and run with it? I read LJPetrlin's Blog and she has hit the nail on the head. She's going for it. Beth went for it and there are others out there who went for it or are going for it. So why do I hem and haw?
I know one thing for sure. This summer will make these decisions. This summer will be the one to see if I really want to do this. This summer will be the year I stop asking Why and starting asking Why Not.
Thanks for listening to my rambles. Just getting it out of my system I guess you could call it. Know I can always talk to my "sistah's" out there.