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I'm not one to post about others' shortcomings ...

BUT ....

I had a woman come in today wanting to ride a moped. Her husband -- in a good-natured (sounding) way -- was basically telling her she was too stupid and incompetent to ride one and tried to scare her out of riding. We train everyone who rents a bike, and while I was having her test the throttle as I held onto the bike, her husband was holding onto THE BACK OF THE BIKE and talking to her from behind as I was trying to teach her.

After more of his antics I finally (teasingly, but firmly) put BOTH hands in the middle of his back and physically pushed him off the lot so I could work with his wife. My boss came over, put him on his moped and sent him away (on a test drive) then made him SIT ACROSS THE STREET until I had finished teaching his wife.

What a soul-sucking jackass.

Incidentally, when they returned from their ride, she was all smiles -- did a great job riding -- and he told me I was a good teacher. Geez. But boy, it's great to work with all women ... we were all on the wife's side.

Wouldn't you like to just slap him!
And you hear stuff like that all the time - always, of course, said in a joking manner - but if you hear it enough no matter how it's said you begin to believe it. non physical form of battering and probably worse.

If he is like that in public, what is he like behind closed doors? At least the wife had a few up moments that she can accomplish riding!!! I am pleased she had that.

Nan

I don't know if this is true or not,.. I heard it in a conference many years ago and it stuck in my head.... that it takes THREE positive comments to counter-act ONE negative comment. That we internalize the negative ones into our minds where they wreck havoc on our self esteem.

I remind people to not do negative "self talk".... what a double-whammy it must be if the negative comes from someone who is close to us ... even someone we love or are married to. (Yep, been there, too!) I'm so glad that woman was successful and the husband was there to see her do well. Good for you for pushing him away from her while you gave her the lesson.

"soul sucker", haven't heard that description, but it sure fits! When I run across that kind of behavior I say a little prayer of gratitude that it's not waiting for me at home.

Good for you!!! Doesn't it just make you want to "bitch slap" him silly. They always say it "jokingly" but you know they mean it. I also cringe when I hear a woman say, "My husband won't LET me......." Physical abuse ALWAYS starts with belittling and demeaning mind control. This kind of man should be tied to a chair and made to listen to I AM WOMAN 5,000 times.

OHHHH,.... the "won't LET me"..... I've heard that from so many women,... I just want to scream. My friend's uncle said that he wouldn't "LET" his wife wear jeans! And don't you just know it,... she was wearing dress slacks to a family picnic,... and looked very uncomfortable and self conscious with everyone in jeans or shorts. Time to give that man a love tap with a 2x4! Thank goodness not all men are into control issues.

All you can really do is pray for people like that. Good for you and your boss for getting him out of the way so you could teach his wife. Glad all went well during their ride.

Karen, I'm with you on the "my husband won't LET me" thing! This came up yesterday in a discussion with a co-worker whose blood sugar level went sky-high and since her husband didn't want her to go to the doctor, she tripled dosed herself with her medicine. The next day she called the doctor's office and was told to come in ASAP, but she told them she couldn't (he doesn't LET her drive) until her husband said she could go to the doctor. She did make an appointment for today so hopefully he LET her go to the doctor. I got on my soapbox and told her my feeling about a husband LETTING a wife do something and her response was that "I have to live with him". I told her she should be saying "I have to "LIVE", period, with or without him.

I hope she gets to the dr today. That's one of the worst and most dangerous cases of "LET" I have ever heard of!

HEAR HEAR! on the controling husbands! I have been there, done that, and bought the damn T-shirt! And it will never, never happen again! The sad part was, I didn't even realize how controled I was untill I started making my own decisions without having to ask if I could go somewhere or do something. Guess that was the beginning of the end...he didn't like me having a mind of my own. And he didn't like me firing snide remarks back at him when he made them to me. I am after all just a woman tee-hee.

Jan

I used to wear a T-shirt that said " I haven't found Mr. Right...but I have found Mr. Cheap, Mr. Crude, Mr. Muscle and Mr. Phoney!!

I had a co-worker from the Hosp I worked for who has a Southern Baptist husband that was controlling to the MAX!! Sue was finally fed up and moved out and we made sure we took the jerks gun so when we were moving her out he did not have it. Well Mr. Jerk got pissed off that I was helping her move and told me to get out of the apt. I just ignored the jerk and he kept saying he was going to call the police so I said "Go for it!!" He called them and I explained to them he was a controling jerk and helping her move out and he was nuts! The nut case kept telling the cops I was evil because I was Catholic!! LOL The cops hauled off Henry to the Psych ward of the nearest hosp!!!

Haven't heard from Sue for quite sometime so hope she stayed away from Henry!!

Glad DH respects my independance .....when he doesn't I let him know it!!
Woohoo....way to go Karen!!! I bet you boosted that gals self esteem up 100%!!!! She'll always remember that day!!

I kinda thought you all would like that story. One of my favorites is when I hear a woman say, "I'm liberated ... my husband lets me do anything I want."

YEEEK!

YIKES or YEEK is right - that "let's" is scary. Think I'll be single the rest of my life. Although you never know, not ruling anything out - but I'm not gonna give up myself for aanyone again. And being single has it's good points - even if it took me a few years to find them.

Beth, I agree there are lots of good things about being single. To be where I am, doing what I am doing would probably be impossible without LOTS of negotiation (perhaps even WITH). And I'm not of a mind to negotiate. This really has been a chance of a lifetime to travel and go exactly where I want to go, when I want to go. Maybe someday I'll find what Ann of Green Gables calls a "kindred spirit" -- maybe one with a nicer RV! Whaddya think?

Now, if only the world oil markets would cooperate.