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I have 3+ weeks left here on San Juan Island, and I am sooo ready to go home.
I'm just feeling so lonely and I'm having a tough time being around happy couples /
families vacationing together. I'm missing my late DH so much.

I'm having trouble putting how I'm feeling into words ... it's like the old, "if a tree
falls in the forest" thing ... am I living a life if there is no one there to witness it?
When I quilted I delighted in showing my work in progress to DH ... he shared every
victory, helped me with every setback. Everything I do now feels so empty. It seems
the longer I live alone, the more awkward my social skills become.

I'm sorry to be such a downer ... and I'm even thinking it's pathetic that I'm sharing
this on line rather than face-to-face with a living human being.

But there it is.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Janice ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I never lost a husband as you did - but I was not someone worth being around for about 2 years after my divorce. And I went through a period when I was on the road alone where I felt sorry for myself etc etc. Let yourself continue to grieve, it's ok. But don't shut yourself down. Not completely -

And we are your friends - just cuz I've never met you in person - I do care - and so do many others here. So talk away to us - whenever you want.

You gonna come to TX with us this fall? That's a ways off, but it's nice to share in person, too.

((((((((((((((((((((((((( Janice ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

You need all the hugs you can get.

Hey Janice, it's ok to b---about stuff. Life doesn't always follow the path we would like. We all go thru these, "why me", "how did I get here" "What am I going to do next" and "what's the point" conversations with ourselves. And here's a big ((((( ))))). carold

Oh Janice - Wish you were near so I could give you a big hug but consider it done (((((((((Janice))))))). Just because we're on-line friends doesn't mean we care any less. Many of us are alone out here. I completely understand about the couples. I'm the only solo woman here and as is often the case, the third wheel. That's what this forum is all about tho. Friends to listen to all our problems and give us virtual hugs and support.

Where is home? If you're really homesick, give them a week's notice, tell them a family emergency has come up, anything you want and hit the road. I'm actually going home abut two weeks early cause I'm homesick as well. Do you have Verizon phone service? If so, we could actually talk without it costing anything or minutes. My cell is 830 285-0531. If you don't have Verizon I have a computer phone that I can make free calls to anywhere. You just PM me your number and I'll call and we can yak for as long as you want. I envy you. It sounds like you had a wonderful marriage. I've been divorced since the 70's and it was NOT good.

((((((Janice))))))
Divorce/Death,.... both can leave us hurting,... either way it's a death. Death of a dream. The dream of the future. I still shed tears after my very sad divorce so i can say, yes,... I understand. Not exactly the same for sure,... but heartache is still heartache either way.

Do what you need to do to feel better, even if it's leaving early and going back to your home area.

Wish we were really sitting around the campfire .... so many of us are solo.

Hang in there my friend! Hugs!

Another big hug (((((((((((((Janice)))))))))))), my friends got me through the hard times, and even tho a newbie, this group is feeling like those kind of friends. It's part of the healing cycle to have down times, that's when friends come through. It is such a co-incidence that just today I was reading a beautiful blog written by a "couple" who are visiting San Juan Island, they talked about the ferry and biking around the island.....even after 12+ years I felt a moment of longing to part of a "couple" again, BUT THEN I REMEMBERED you are on your own at Friday Harbor and I felt a lightness, oh yeah, it's not the end of the world, Janice is doing it! Now I find your post about being homesick. Take care of yourself girl friend and know you are loved!

Janice---------- I was divorced--------& have been remarried over 30 year now--------
But being alone is being alone---- & I remember being alone!!!!!!!

And I have been the major care giver to three family members who died of cancer------& it is never easy!!!!!!

I don't know the right things to say---- but I just want you to know I truly do care & you will be in my prayers!!!!!

I personally could not have made it through many hard times with out prayer & God leading me!!!!!

Blessings to you Janice & hugs!!!!!!!
We ALL care!!!!!!!!!!!! Just remember that OK???????????? And we are here for you!!!!!!

oh ((((((((((((((((((((Janice)))))))))))))))))))
I understand homesick very well, and you just post away and get it all out, thats
what were here for. After my divorce, I moved to Arizona and was homesick for
Colorado for many years, actually till this past year I finally settled in to Arizona
living.
Took me a long time huh. 2001 to just last year, but now my memories are just
that, lovely memories and not painful anymore. I'll also admit this forum has helped
me tremendously by the friendship of strangers to move ahead and know my future
is not alone, I may be lonely from time to time but I am never alone as I have all
these girls and someday I will truely meet some of them.
I used to make quilts too and I would love to see some of your work. When I got
rid of all my stuff, my collection of fabrics would not let go of me. Seriously, I laid
them all out on the sofa one day intending to donate a few pieces for a worthy
cause (dog related of course) but then I just couldn't let them go and packed them
back up and put them back under the bed. I know someday I'll make another quilt
and it will be small, for the dogs but I do enjoy doing it.
Anytime you feel down, don't be afraid to say so and remember tomorrow is another
day with its own set of challenges and thats how I get through each and every day.
(((((((((((((((((Janice)))))))))))))))))) for you
btw, where is home? Your perfectly welcome to come here and settle for the winter.
I could get you a job driving a schoolbus, how much fun would that be
(its definately not for everybody) but we definately have lots of retired folks driving
for us.

Janice, I don't know that I can say anything more than what the other ladies have, but please know that I am here too. Here is another ((((hug)))) for you. Gee you will be sore from all these hugs... We are here for you whenever you need us!!!

Thank you all ... I took a long nap and I'm feeling a little better. I think the
fact that I don't fit in with the other women at work (who are all best friends)
has made me feel more isolated. Plus, they're all big drinkers (I used up
all my "E" tickets on that stuff a long time ago), so all the talk is about
drinking and being hung over, escapades, etc. Yuck.

I am going to stay these last weeks ... I made a commitment and the boss
has more than kept up her end of the bargain. I've used grief to opt out of
a lot of things ... and I want to keep this commitment.

I'm gonna slip on some shoes and get out of this rig. There's a get-together
tonight in one of the campgrounds ... I'll connect with some other women
there and feel better.

Yes, I do have some good friends here (just the thought of some of Zeee's
Italian cooking makes my mouth water). Thank you for showing up for me.
You touched my heart.

Plus, they're all big drinkers (I used up
all my "E" tickets on that stuff a long time ago), so all the talk is about
drinking and being hung over, escapades, etc. Yuck.

Don't you wonder when people will realize what they are really missing by having to use alcohol to have what they consider a good time????????
I guess the only thing is feel sorry for them & go on!!!!!!!!

And hope someday they get it & really know what having a good time is with out the alcohol!!!

Personally, I like the virtual alcohol at our campfire lol - now, if only the chocolate was virtual also

Janice, I'm glad that you're feeling a bit better. Naps can be wonderful things, can't they? I also completely understand how the people around you can make you feel. Even though I was mainly around couples last summer, they never made me feel like the 3rd or 5th wheel. This summer, all the workampers are couples (one employee is single, but dating steady) and they have on many occasions made me feel that way. However, I'm very lucky that not all do - and I'm even luckier that I've been making friends with some of the people staying here (it's one reason I found out last summer I liked the big parks/resorts for workamping) - there are long term folks - some single ladies I enjoy talking to - a single man I've had dinner with (don't make more out of that folks!) and several couples that make me feel comfortable. But then there are the days when I see several of the workamper couples all together, and know that they didn't even think of me - when all they're doing is going to the pool, or bbqing, etc - and sometimes I wonder - did I do that to singles when I was part of a couple? I sure hope not!

And I know there are couples out there that won't do that - Lori and Ernie are a sparkling example - I've now camped with them 3 times and can't wait to see them again.

I'm going on and on - just want to say that if you ever need a friend - I'm here - we're all here - just as I know you will be for me and all of us if/when needed. And we're never further away than your keyboard. Just about any time of day or night, one of us will be around - if not immediately, within a short time.

(((((((Janice)))))))) You are among some of the best gals in the world here....we care about you and will do what ever we can to help you over this 'hump".....Am thinking of you...

Lori

PS....Thanks for the kind words, Beth.....

Janice, sending you (((((((((HUGS)))))))) sorry we cannot be up there to give you hugs. We aren't heading up your way. We are in Monroe and heading back to Fall City and Puyallup and then hit the Olympic Peninsula and then slowly go down the coast of Oregon ( going to miss Trudy too )
You are loved here from your forum Sisters!