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I'm shaking my head, making sure last night's nightmare is not real. You all know I keep talking about how much I wish DH was still with me. Well, I dreamt last night that not only was Jim still alive -- but that he had FAKED his death to get away from me! I was so stunned and hurt, and then the real horror struck: Not only was I ultimately rejected and betrayed, but I would have to pay back all of the life insurance and pension benefits I'd been receiving for five years, my income would stop abruptly, I don't have a job and have been out of my field so long, people say, "Janice WHO?"

I woke up so afraid and hurt and angry ... and then was ashamed that I was relieved he was still dead.

Weird morning.

Other than that, I have an inch or so of clean, white snow (with a couple of yellow spots in the back yard ), a warm cuppa and good company. Life is good, as last night's dream has made me realize. I WASN'T rejected when Jim died, and I am warm and fed and sheltered and secure. Thank you, Jim. I AM cared for and loved.

Janice, sometimes dreams can be so realistic and weird. There are people who swear they can understand what they mean. However, I'm go glad yours wasn't real and hope it's the last time it happens.

The other night I told Beth that I dreamt that Dave was standing waiting for me. He put his arms around me and said "Let's go home." I woke up so sad, this was when I was in my depression. Beth pointed out that it was in my head, not what Dave wanted me to do. You are all of the people in your dream.
I also believe that time is different for those who have gone before us. As each year passes it seems so long since I have seen him, and so long before I will. Then I think, to him it will be the blink of an eye.

Sparkle, I understand completely. The thing I don't understand is that other people -- people like you -- are greeted lovingly in your dreams by your lost husband. Mine are more bizarre than that. But, if what Beth says is true, *I* must be the bizarre one.

sometimes what we eat before we go to bed can dictate the dream state. If I have
oranges or orange juice before bedtime, it will be a bizarre night of dreaming. Other
than that my dreams are little fleets of this and that and never make sense, and I
usually don't remember much of them. I tend to avoid oranges at night.

I seldom ever remember my dreams but one morning lately I dreamed my DH called my name. It was so real it woke me up and I went to see what he wanted. He wasn't even here. I would have sworn he called me if I hadn't gone to see. I can see how people think they are hearing voices and it is all in their head.

Martha

i often dream that my mother has moved and I don't know her address or phone. I keep looking for her and am so sad. I seem to dream this when I'm down and really missing her. I just wasn't ready for her to die and it happened so fast.

Janice I could be way off base here??? But during Thanksgiving week there were postings about being grateful for things. I believe that yours said that you were grateful that your husband had seen to you being protected and financially independent in the event of his death. And because of this you were able to enjoy not having to work for a paycheck and being able to go RV'ing whenever you wanted.

Maybe down deep in your subconscious there is a little niggle of guilt that you can enjoy this???

It all comes out in the wash in the end. Cause he sure wouldn't want you to sit home and mope. So continue to be thankful that he was a forward planning man.

I know that my subconscious has broadsided me a couple of times with stuff that seems off the wall and freaky.

Oh Janice, if bizarre dreams are because of ourselves, I'm in deep trouble. I was reading a book (not a novel, non-fiction) about the homeless this week. The other night I dreamt about homeless people - and they were mainly people I know - and it was a bbq for all of them. Oh, and in my dream I had the way to get rid of homelessness. Now, if that were true, I guarantee I would do it - but it was really depressing to wake up and know that I didn't have a clue how to do that.

As to your husband in your dreams - as Sparkle says - your dreams are a reflection of your own mind (gosh, that scares me, too!) And it's possible in some ways, you're trying to accept he's gone while still missing him - and that's all projected while you sleep.

A few months ago I was really down and having a bad day missing Jack. That night I dreamed that he had been having an affair and chose the other woman over me. I woke up just sobbing my heart out. Now, I know that he never ever fooled around on me, so why in the world would I dream something so bizarre? And not only that, it was the first time I had dreamed about him since he passed....why did it have to be something so horrible? Needless to say, it was another potato chip nite and I haven't had one of those in a couple of years. I used to pray that I would dream about him, just to see him, now not so much. Sometimes I wonder if the pain ever goes away. Everyone says it gets better with time, but how much time? It's not like I'm one of those people that likes to wallow in misery and most of the time I guess I maintain pretty well. And like a lot of you, holidays, birthdays and anniversary's are hard. His birthday is Wednesday, so I'll be making a trek out to the cemetary if I'm done with jury duty and can go.

Janice, I wouldn't worry to much about the dream you had, our minds are wondrous crazy things and you never know what you may have seen or read that day to make your mind go squirrely on you. Of course in Sparkle's case you could prolly blame it on bourbon and ginger. That would be enough to make me dream murderous thoughts!

Oh NO! Don't tell me I have to give up my B & G? Nah, I'll just dream about Mitch tonight and see what I can do.

Nah. Sparkle my love, we wouldn't dare ask you to give that up! That would be like making me give up my coffee and trust me, NO one wants to go there!!

I think we watch too much TV, ,and that effects our dreams thru our subconscious memories of those weird tv programs.
BUT,, the mind twists it all around and moulds it into what we know, and who we know ,in our lives... does that make sense?

love ya'll!!!

You ladies are truly my friends. You bring yourselves to this forum and today, you
have held me up. THank you.